Blackout
by twi-ction
Summary: Jacob's desire to gain revenge on Edward causes him to hurt Bella in the worst possible way and she has to live with the consequences. Warnings: Mature, Bad Jake, Rape, but E/B eccentric the entire way through.
1. Chapter 1

Blackout: Chapter 1

Setting: Post Eclipse, Post Wedding, Pre Change.

Summary: Anti-Jacob. Jake start's drinking and hurts Bella in the worst possible way. It's going in a completely different way than all the other stories that start like this, I promise. I'm more original than that.

Disclaimer: SM owns.

Rating: M

"Ouch" I groaned as I studied the new abrasion on my palm and struggled internally to not blame Edward. It's not his fault that he wasn't ready to change me yet, and I was trying to be patient.

A week ago we had been married. Marriage was Edwards condition, my conditions were the attempt at sex and the long-evasive change.

In an attempt to hide my new cut from Edward, I brushed my palm discreetly against my pants to wipe off the dirt but his icy cold hand caught mine and studied the scrape.

"Fall down again, Bella?" Emmett chuckled from behind. "You would be much better off if Edward would just change you already." He continued.

Edward's face fell immediately, displaying his shame prominently across his perfect features.

"Shut up, Emmett." I growled as I snatched my hand back from Edward. I leaned forward and surprised him with an unexpected kiss on the lips. "I wont be long." I promised. I turned away immediately to avoid the concern that was no doubt etching his face. He hated it when I went to see Jacob. He was supportive enough, but he made no show of hiding his paranoia. He was convinced that Jacob was a threat to me, but I refused to accept that.

"I love you." He whispered behind me.

"I love you too." I threw a quick grin over my shoulder as I climbed into my truck. I could have sworn I heard him murmur "Be safe." Under his breath, but I couldn't be sure.

I had been making it a point to visit Jacob more often now. I never could tell when it would be the last time I would see him. Edward had tried to come through on his promises multiple times, but so far had lacked the control. It was hard to predict when exactly it would happen. I would accept any possible time now, I was becoming more impatient every day. Carlisle had offered, but I could tell that Edward wanted it to be him as much as I did, so I was silently suffering through the wait.

Lost in my thoughts, the drive to La Push flew by quickly. I made a mental note of what time I should leave to prevent Edward from worrying as I jumped out of my truck and approached the front door.

"Jake?" I called as I let myself in.

"He's in the garage." I jumped at Billy's voice. I hadn't realized he was right next to the door sitting at the kitchen table. I was so much more used to searching 7 feet in the air to find what I was looking for that his 4 foot height in his wheel chair went unnoticed.

"Thanks." I mumbled as I bounced back out into the gray afternoon.

"Jake?" I called again as I pushed open the heavy garage door.

"Bella?" His muffled voice came from beneath his Volkswagen where only his knees down were visible. I shook my head in disgust, he would never stop doing some form of repair or improvement on that vehicle, would he?

"What's up?" I chuckled.

"Nothin'…" His speech sounded slightly more slurred than normal, but I wrote that off as a side effect of his position under the vehicle. "How're you?"

"I'm alright."

"Still human, I smell." He said indifferently.

"Yes. Still human." I shrugged.

It went silent for a time, save for the clank of metal beneath the Rabbit. I worked my way over to the picnic table in the middle of the garage and sat down. I watched him work in silence for a while and became more and more uncomfortable. Something seemed wrong. Normally Jake would have flew out from under the car in an instant to sweep me into a crushing hug, but now he seemed to be almost ignoring me.

"Jake, is everything okay?" I grimaced.

Silence. He stopped working and grew very still for a seemingly measureless moment.

Finally, "Why hasn't he changed you yet?"

I scowled. Why did he always insist on bringing this up? "He's not ready, Jake. That's all."

"So it's not because you're not ready or not sure?"

"No."

"Oh."

He said nothing else for a long while.

I let my eyes wander across the familiar garage letting everything bring back memories until I noticed something that didn't belong ; a long line of beer cans headed by an empty vodka bottle on the ground against the wall.

"Jake, have you been drinking?" I frowned.

"A lil'" He shrugged.

"Jake….. You shouldn't be drinking that much." I scolded, "Does Billy know you're drinking?"

"No. Whya think I'm out here so much lately?"

"Jake.. That's not healthy."

"Oh shut up, Bella." I was immediately taken aback by his tone. "You of all people have no right to judge me for doing something unhealthy. Stupid little leach lover."

"Jacob Black, you take that back right now!" I stood up quickly and let my voice become consumed by anger, hoping he would notice.

He did. Slowly and deliberately he slid out from under his precious car and stood up. As his eyes met mine, I realized with a start that he was much more drunk than I thought. His eyes were bloodshot and he staggered slightly as he rose. Fear welled up within me, "Jake, you're _drunk_." I gasped.

"Brilliant, aren't you." He mumbled back incoherently.

"I'm leaving." I concluded aloud. I wasn't going to deal with him in this state. I turned on my heel to exit but his weak voice stopped me.

"Have you guys had sex yet?" The words came out so jumbled that it took me a moment to confirm to myself that that's what he really said. I whirled to stare at him. "No." I allowed.

"Pft. Figures.." He followed that with some incoherent words that I couldn't decipher.

"What's that supposed to mean!?" I shouted.

"Figures that he can't even give you a decent honeymoon without killing you."

"Now wait a minute Jacob Black, that's not fair and you know it!" I defended.

"I would never hurt you on purpose, you know. I would be able to make love to you without worrying about killing you." He stared at the ground as he spoke.

I stared at him, gaping for a moment. His words had rendered me completely speechless.

"So, are you still a virgin, then?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business." I placed my hand on my hip in a highly immature gesture.

"On the contrary, I would like to know what I'm getting myself into." His voice came out shockingly loud and clear as he sauntered unsteadily towards me. As his intentions became clear, I turned to bolt out the door, but he beat me there. He easily shoved a large metal shelving structure in front of my only exit and stood panting with his back to me for a moment. My heart dropped.

I began shaking my head in disbelief and repeating, "No, Jake, no.. what are you doing, no!" His entire frame trembled in anger as he turned to me. All friendliness that I had once known was vanished from his eyes, replaced instead by pure un-jaded anger.

"He has taken _everything_ from me, Bella. I am not going to give up my one opportunity to take something from him." His voice was cold and hard.

I questioned his intentions momentarily. "Are you going to kill me, Jake?" I gasped. It was the more preferable of my two conclusions, I'll admit.

He laughed coldly, "That would make me no better than him. No, I'm going to take away the one thing that he's not able to take himself."

Rape? No. I wouldn't let myself believe it. Not Jacob. Not _my_ Jacob. But then, this wasn't _my_ Jacob, was it? This was some drunken angry creature that I had never known was in Jacob. _My_ Jacob wouldn't hurt me… would he?

"No, Jake. No. Think of what you are doing.." I pleaded. "You're drunk, you don't know what you're doing."

"Yes, I do." He smirked as he caught me in his hands and pressed his lips to my own. A sob tore through me, but the noise was lost against his stifling hot lips.

This could not be happening. What could I do, though? Alice couldn't see this, Billy couldn't hear - and even if he could there was no way he could make it out to the shed in this condition. I should have been afraid for other reasons though. I should have been afraid for myself, but all I could think of was Edward. Edward would doubtlessly blame himself for this. And…. Would Edward ever want to touch me again.

I gasped violently for air when Jacob finally removed his lips from my own. "No!" I protested wildly as his hands began reaching for his belt buckle.

"Oh shutup, Bella. Accept this for what it is, you can't go anywhere. You're vampires aren't here to save you. Your freaky little fortune teller can't see me, remember."

I felt the hot tears spilling down my face now. He couldn't just leave it at assaulting me verbally, he had to add physically to it too?

"No, Jacob. Don't!"

It was too late. His pants fell in a crumpled heap beneath us as he smashed his lips against mine once more. I knew it was hopeless, but I struggled anyways. I pushed with all of my strength against his chest, but he didn't budge. "Please, Jake! No!" I managed to gasp out as his hands slipped beneath the elastic of my sweat pants. His hand lingered on my hip and seemed to burn me as he decisively forced me to the ground.

"Say it, Bells." He growled.

"No." I choked out through a sob.

"SAY IT!"

"Stop, Jake!" I screamed as his fist tangled tightly in my hair and I felt a chunk of it come loose from my head.

Hungrily, he pressed his lips to mine again and forced my tight set lips apart with his tongue. The infiltration of my mouth was just the beginning, I knew. Yet, I couldn't help but hold on to that one sliver of hope that he would come to his senses. That hope vanished, though, as he tore my sweatpants down around my ankles.

"Please, no." I sobbed again. I knew I was defeated before it even happened. I shut my body down and tried desperately to numb out the discomfort and pain of his unwelcome invasion. This was not how it was supposed to be. I was supposed to be with Edward, and it shouldn't hurt this bad. I cried out in pain and felt a slight trickle of blood down my chin. I was biting my lip so hard that I had cut clear through the skin. I felt my body bruising everywhere he touched and I prayed for it to be over. Why couldn't he have just killed me. "Stop, Jake." I pleaded through my tears.

I had never seen him look more purely evil than in this moment. As he undeservedly stole my innocence on the cold concrete of the garage floor, not even a hint of regret entered his eyes. He looked elated and accomplished. He looked disgustingly proud.

"Say it!" He growled again.

"NO JAKE, NEVER. I WILL NEVER WANT YOU!" I screamed.

He emitted a final roar of anger before he suddenly vanished. I opened my eyes to examine the absence of the burning feeling that had raged within me to find him across the room trembling. Oh no. I scrambled to my feet, wincing against the bruises covering every inch of my body as I pulled my pants back up. I knew I only had a moment before the transformation was complete.

Sure enough, when I looked back up, there crouched a Russet brown wolf. This was the end for me. Let it be quick, I prayed. So much for him being able to not hurt me, I thought to myself as I closed my eyes and waited for it all to end.

Suddenly, an unfamiliar roar and crashing noise jolted my eyes back open again. Two more wolves crashed through the barricade and sent the shelving unit crashing to the ground. Jacob's leap towards me was intercepted by a small sandy colored wolf that I recognized as Seth. I turned my attention back to the other wolf to identify him, but the world began to close around me.

My last thought was of Edward, hoping wildly that he wouldn't hate me too much as I crumpled back to the ground and gave in to the blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

I was only vaguely aware of the forest ripping past me as I struggled to regain unconsciousness. I didn't want to be awake. I didn't even want to be alive at this point.

"No, don't take me to Edward." I protested. "He'll hate me…. Where's my truck?" I realized again as my head slumped back into unconsciousness that I had no idea who I was with. Their arms were uncomfortably warm, though. A warm that I would now and forever link to a devastating memory.

I was in a semi conscious state when we entered the clearing in front of the Cullen house. I could hear everything, but I couldn't make myself move or speak.

"EDWARD!" The voice was Alice's. "Get out here, NOW!"

"What happened!?" Edward's voice was furious.

"I'm so sorry, Edward. I had no idea he would ever.." Sam's voice cut in. The warm arms were suddenly replaced by cold ones and I felt much more comfortable. The cold was very therapeutic against the extensive bruising on my body.

"What happened?" Alice spoke through gritted teeth.

"He raped her." Edward snarled.

"No." Alice gasped. "No, no, no, no. Bella," She wheezed as I felt her fingers brush the hair out of my eyes.

"DAMNIT!" Edward yelled. "I'm going to kill him, I swear!"

"He's gone." Sam's voice, again.

"Where is he. He's dead. He broke the treaty. Bella is a Cullen now, and he hurt her. He hurt our family." Alice sobbed.

"I don't know where he is. He ran off after we saved Bella."

"What happened exactly?" Alice pressed.

"No, don't. I'll tell you later, Alice. I've been watching it in his head for the last two minutes. I think you need to leave now, Sam. Thank you for bringing her back. You'll understand that we have to take action against Jacob, right?"

"Good luck finding him." Sam replied. "I'm sorry, Edward. This shouldn't have happened."

Then he was gone and the air was flying past me as again. I still couldn't open my eyes, but I heard the concerned voices of my family flutter around me. "Edward, what happened?" "What's going on?" "Edward? What's wrong with her?" The only audible response I heard was his clear and pained sobs. I longed to reach out to him and comfort him, to tell him that it wasn't his fault, but I couldn't. I remained limp and unresponsive to touch even as I felt the silk sheets of his bed wrap tightly around me. I felt him there, next to me. He squeezed me to him and stroked my hair like a mad-man as he repeated, "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry." I surrendered to the fact that I couldn't respond and gave in once more to the blackness.

--

When I awoke finally, every bone in my body ached. My eyes fluttered open. I expected to see Edward there, but instead, the first person I saw was Rosalie. She was laying beside me with my hand tucked securely in hers and the most pained expression across her face. Edward was behind me with his arms wrapped around my waist.

"Bella." Rosalie breathed.

Edwards breath caught in his throat when she spoke my name. "Are you awake this time?" He gently urged.

I didn't reply. I winced as I pulled myself into a sitting position.

"Bella?" Edward repeated.

"Give her time, Edward." Rosalie spoke for me. "I'll be downstairs if you need me Bella." she promised.

I pushed past him and stood up. I grimaced against the pain and took a few staggering steps towards the bathroom at the other end of the room. I was aware of him following me into the bathroom, but I tried to ignore him. I couldn't take seeing the pain in that I knew was present in his face. I approached the sink and was immediately slapped with the realization that everything I had went through was real. The scrapes on my face and large bloody gash on my lip were evidence enough, let alone the bruises covering almost every square inch of my body. A small whimper escaped me as I viewed myself in the mirror. I braced myself against the sink and doubled over, forcing myself to breathe.

"Oh God." I exhaled.

Edward sat on the stool in the corner of the bathroom, his head in his hands breathing rapidly. He looked up as I stumbled to the shower and opened the door. I paid no attention to the temperature as I twisted the knob. As soon as the water started I stepped in. I was barely aware of my clothing, I just needed the water to wash over me. I felt dirty and unclean. I was unsure how long I had been standing there, bracing myself against the tiles of the walls before Edward was with me.

He cautiously began helping me remove my clothes, paying heed to every bruise and ache. When my shirt and bra had been carefully discarded over the top of the shower, he thumbed the elastic of my sweatpants. In an instant, everything changed. The gesture had flooded my mind with the afternoons previous events and suddenly, Edward was Jacob.

"No!" I recoiled from his touch and sank into the corner of the shower. I was aware of my trembling body as I wrapped my hands around my knees. I immediately felt guilty. Edward had backed off as soon as I had reacted, and now he stood with one hand lightly covering his mouth.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to….." He bit his lip as he stared down at me. "I'll go."

I wanted to tell him not to leave me, but I knew that I couldn't let him see me like this. I let him go so as not to hurt him any more than I already had. I didn't deserve his support. I was the stupid one who had to go gallivanting with werewolves when he told me it was unsafe.

The emptiness of the bathroom only lasted a minute. His presence was immediately replaced by Rosalie. Fully clothed, she let herself into the shower and sunk down next to me. Without a word, she placed her arm gingerly around my shoulders and pulled me into her. I realized suddenly that her extreme loyalty was likely due to the sympathy that her prior experience had left her with. She had been raped, too. I let a sob rip from my throat before I could stop it and I allowed her to comfort me. She patiently sat in the shower with me until all the hot water had gone and I was shivering from the cold. She helped me quickly clean up and wash away as much of the hurt as I could before leaving me momentarily to get me some of her clothes to wear.

They fit poorly, but in essence, they were just what I needed.

"Thank you, Rosalie." I finally spoke.

She looked deeply in my eyes for a long moment before nodding.

"You need to tell him, you know."

"Yes. I know."

"Do you want me to stay with you?" She offered.

"I would like that, I think." I accepted.

She took my hand lightly in hers and led the way out of the bathroom.

Edward was sitting cross-legged on the bed with his head cradled in his hands. Rosalie and I approached the bed as quickly as my sore body would allow. I slowly lifted myself on to the bed and scooted over to occupy the position next to Edward. He didn't look up, and as I neared him, I could see that his eyes were closed. Rosalie was next to me again, my hand in hers. She gave it a light squeeze in encouragement and nodded her head.

"Edward," I started, "I'm sorry."

He didn't move, but I heard him exasperatedly say "Bella, you have nothing to apologize for."

"I shouldn't have behaved like that… in the shower… I was"

"No, Bella." He lifted his head and locked his eyes onto my own. "That was not your fault." His eyes held all the sadness and remorse that I had been trying to avoid witnessing in him and I cringed at the sight.

"None of this is your fault." He whispered.

"As well as none of it is yours." I spoke softly.

He didn't speak for a moment as he stared into my eyes. "I never should have let you go." He finally concluded.

"Please, Edward. Trust me, Bella does not need you to blame this on yourself right now." Rosalie spoke up.

His hands clenched and unclenched into fists while he struggled with his own thoughts.

"What happened?" He spoke through clenched teeth.

Rosalie squeezed my hand again in encouragement and I took a deep breath. I knew I would have to do this eventually, and I knew that it would be easier for the wounds to heal if I didn't have to rip them back open later to explain it to my husband.

"He was drunk." I started. "He was being an asshole, and then I realized that he was drunk. I tried to leave, but he pushed a big shelf in front of the door and he wouldn't let me leave. He said that you had stole everything he had ever wanted from him and now in return he was going to steal…something from you. Then he raped me. There's not much else to tell." I picked mindlessly at the comforter beneath me as I spoke, vaguely aware of his terrified gaze on me.

"Bella, are you leaving out the details to make it easier on you, or me. Be honest." He pressed.

"Mainly you." I admitted.

He nodded.

"I'll find out eventually anyways." He assured me. "Don't worry about it. When I find him, and Bella, I _will_ find him, he is almost sure to be screaming those thoughts at me to distract me."

"No, Edward. Don't leave me." I begged.

"Not right now, I wont." He promised. "But one day, Bella. I will find him."

I knew there was no avoiding it. Jacob would most likely die to pay for what he had done, and I was unsure yet how to react to that. Currently, especially after what had just happened, I was not opposed to Jacob's demise, but the very idea of me being willing to surrender the life of what had once been my best friend appalled me. I didn't know what to think of myself.

"Bella, I…. how……" He stared at me with his bow wrinkled into a pained heartbroken line, "How could I let this happen to you?"

"No, Edward." I let go of Rosalie's hand and pushed my way up under his arms until my face was inches away from his. "There was nothing you could have done."

"And I hate that. I've never felt so helpless." He frowned.

"Welcome to my life." I groaned. I immediately regretted my words. I could see it in his eyes that my statement had brought on a whole new wave of self-blame. He had likely contorted my meaning into the fact that if he would have changed me, this wouldn't have happened.

"I should have changed you." He confirmed my assumption.

"Yes, it would have been nice to be less breakable, but Edward, that doesn't change the fact that this is only Jake's fault." His name seemed to burn on my tongue.

"Bella, why are you so brave?" His velvety voice cracked.

"I'm not. Maybe my acting's improving." I heard the weakness in my own voice.

Rosalie took the moment to make her exit, throwing a brief glance of support over her shoulder as she left.

"He's road kill." Edward growled. "I can't believe he would hurt you like that…"

"Stop it." I ordered. "Stop thinking about him."

"I'm not. I'm thinking about you, Bella."

He wasn't looking at me anymore. It frustrated me.

"Make me forget, Edward. Help me forget."

He opened his arms wide and I flung myself into them. I winced slightly as the bruises protested at my actions, but I found much more comfort in the fact that I was back in Edward's arms, and so far he didn't seem to be disgusted with me.

"What did you mean _this time?"_ I frowned.

"What?" He raised his eyebrows."

"When I woke up, you asked if I was really awake this time…"

"You had been having nightmares, sweetheart." he explained.

"Oh." That wasn't good. "Was it bad?"

The silence was all the more confirmation I needed.

"I'm sorry." I apologized for.

"Bella, of all the ridiculous things to be sorry for." Edward scowled.

I went silent again and let him rock me in his arms for hours. Just before I fell asleep, I remember him whispering the quietest promise to never let me out of his sight again as I silently prayed that I would spare him any additional nightmares.

(a/n) THANK YOU ALL for your support. REVIEWS REVIEWS REVIEWS. Let me know what you think and motivate me to keep going.


	3. Chapter 3

When I awoke the next morning, I awoke to the most devastated face on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. He stared into my eyes with concern etching every inch of his face. His marble body was tense and rigid as he clung to me. I was in the same position that I had fallen asleep in, cradled in Edward's arms as he sat in the center of the king size bed.

His facial expressions told me all that I needed to know.

"Was I dreaming again?" I winced.

He didn't respond, but he narrowed his eyes sympathetically as he studied my face.

"That bad, huh?" I frowned. "I'm sorry."

"Bella….. Can I ask you something?" His eyes stayed locked onto mine.

"Yes."

"You kept murmuring something about… Edward's going to hate me now, just let me die."

Oh, crap. I broke our gaze and cast my eyes downward in apparent shame.

"What did you mean, Bella? What was that about?"

"I…." I struggled for a decent explanation. "I was afraid that you wouldn't want me anymore after what he did to me." I winced as I bit my lip, forgetting my self inflicted wounds.

His eyes fluttered closed and he fell unnaturally silent and still for what seemed like forever. I held my breath too as he reacted to my words.

"Bella," He finally breathed through clenched teeth, "Nothing in this world, especially that _dog_ would ever make me not want you. I will always, always want you. No matter what. And for you to be so afraid that I wouldn't want you that you would wish for death over facing me…….. Bella….."

"I know. I feel stupid for even thinking it now…" I struggled to make it seem like less than what it was. "The whole time, I was only thinking about you….and not wanting to hurt you."

"Bella, why would you concern yourself over me rather than yourself. It was _you_ who was being violated, not me."

"Because Edward, You are more important to me than myself."

"Bella, that's completely absurd." His eyes fluttered open with a new regard for my irrational tendencies. "You really need to gain a sense of self preservation. The most important thing to me is you, Bella. So if your only regard is for my happiness, then you may consider worrying about yourself now and then."

"It was easier for me…. To think of you. It was like…a safety net in my mind. It made it hurt less when I thought of you, but it made it hurt worse if I considered how much this would hurt you…"

His eyes studied me for a long moment before he finally spoke again. "Bella, you are so ridiculous. You just suffered one of the most traumatic experiences known to mankind and you were more concerned with me than yourself."

I shrugged nonchalantly and hoped he would let the topic drop.

"I wish I could have prevented all of this." He continued.

"No, it's not your fault…." I argued. As I spoke, my voice cracked and I felt the moisture welling in my eyes. I didn't understand why I was crying, but I knew that I would be able to stop myself.

"Shit." I mumbled as I wiped the tears away with the back of my hand.

"What, Bella?" He assisted in wiping away the salt water from my cheeks.

"I promised myself I would never let you see me cry over Jacob again." I sniffled.

"Oh, Bella, Bella." He cooed as he cradled me nearer to him.

I sobbed uncontrollably as he rocked me back and forth stroking my hands. I could have been mistaken, but I swear I felt him release a few sobs too.

After my emotions and my tears had run their course, I remained in my husbands arms, more grateful for him now than ever. I would have stayed there for longer if it weren't for my stomach betraying my hunger.

"Bella, you need to eat something." He sighed. "It's been almost two days…."

I knew it would be no use arguing with him, and though I questioned my ability to keep any food down, I knew I had to humor him and at least try. In addition to the already present lack of appeal in food was the idea that I had to face my family on the way. I knew that they would be supportive and cooperative, but knowing what was going through their minds as they saw me was excruciating.

They seemed to anticipate my reappearance, likely from Alice, I decided. The entire family was sitting very uncharacteristically in the living room staring mindlessly at the television which was playing some Japanese program. Edward held my hand firmly in his, and I tried to look as normal as possible as I prepared a small bowl of cereal. Whenever my back was turned, I could feel the many pairs of eyes locked onto me. I wondered if they were waiting for me t spontaneously combust or something. By the time I had turned around, though, they were all facing the direction of the TV again.

I sighed. I knew I would have to face them sooner or later, so I approached a vacant seat next to Rosalie on the couch and sat down with them. Edward hesitantly sat next to me and we stared at the TV in silence. The quiet carried on for about 10 minutes before I finally ended it.

"I'm not going to explode guys. You don't have to walk on eggshells, you know." Their eyes all flicked to me simultaneously as they retained their silence. Emmett was the first to speak, and the words out of his mouth, true to his character, didn't surprise me.

"Do we get to…. I mean, are you going to allow us to hunt him down?" He raised his eyebrow.

I opened my mouth to respond, but a low growl from Edward cut me off.

"There is no _we_ about this, Emmett. He will answer to me, and me alone."

"Edward, you know that's irrational." Carlisle cut in. "You don't know if he will be alone or not, it's too dangerous."

Another low growl rumbled through his chest and I allowed my hand to come to rest on his shoulder. "Edward, he's right. Jacob has hurt me enough already, and if you got injured trying to get revenge for my sake… it will only hurt me worse."

His eyes softened as he realized the truth in my words.

"All of us then." Emmett clapped.

"This should not be your decision!" Rosalie snarled at him, taking us all by surprise. "This should be up to Bella and no one else."

All eyes immediately turned to me.

So this was what it had come to…. Jacob's fate was in my hands? I felt sweat beading in the center of my palms as my mind raced. Should I be the better person and let him live, or should I stoop to his level and make him pay? I felt my brow furrow as I concentrated on my thoughts. The angry and hurt part of me wanted him to pay for what he had done. When I thought of Jacob, not the Jacob I had last seen, but _my Jacob, the Jacob who had helped me through my dark ages and had been my light in the darkness when Edward wasn't around, I wanted him alive. I still owed him for that. But when I thought of the dark, angry Jacob that had savagely violated me on the cold concrete of his garage where we had endlessly worked to fix our motorcycles…..When I thought of the Jacob who had sought to hurt Edward so badly that he was willing to hurt me in the worst possible way, I wanted him dead. _

_Their eyes were still glued on me. _

"_I don't want you to kill him." I concluded. _

_An angry hiss of air surrounded me as Emmett, Jasper, and Edward let out the breath they had been holding. _

"_Wait, wait.." I held up my hands to calm them down, "I never said I would be opposed if you accidentally got carried away while you were punishing him…. I would just really appreciate if you tried to let him live. I think it would be worse for him if he had to live with knowing what he did."_

_A contented murmur ran through the group. _

"_But you have to remember, he's gone. I doubt that he has any intention of coming back to La Push or anywhere near Forks any time soon…"_

"_He's not the brightest… I wouldn't put it past him." Emmett scowled. _

"_He will pay, Bella. I promise you. He will not get away with this." Alice promised me gently. _

_I nodded weakly. _

"_Bella, can I talk to you in private for a second?" Rosalie requested quietly. _

"_Um, yeah." I chewed and swallowed the last bite of cereal and rose to clean it but Edward stopped me. He lifted the bowl out of my hand and said "No, I'll get this. You go ahead."_

_I slowly followed Rosalie out into the misty afternoon. Despite the light drizzle of rain falling, the sun shone through the clouds bravely and Rosalie sparkled in the sunlight beside me. We walked around the edge of the property for a time in silence until she finally spoke. _

"_Are you alright, Bella?" _

_I thought for a moment. I didn't want to lie to Rosalie, and the truth was…. I was not okay. I was far from it. My heart was broken and I was struggling not to cry every minute of everyday. I dreaded sleeping because I knew that I hurt Edward when I dreamed. I feared being close to him because I didn't want what happened in the shower to become a reoccurring thing. I was hurt and I was afraid. _

"_No." I answered truthfully. _

_She reached for my hand and squeezed it tightly. "It gets easier, with time. It will always be hard, but it gets easier." _

_I nodded in acknowledgement._

"_I want you to know, Bella, that you can always talk to me. I know better than anyone what you are going through right now, and I remember the feeling vividly. Don't be afraid to ask me for anything… alright?" _

"_Thanks, Rose." _

_We walked together for a short time longer before turning and heading back. I felt comfortable next to Rosalie because I didn't have to hide my emotions. The silence was welcomed and calming to me while it lasted. _

"_I know you might not be ready to deal with Jacob right away, Bella… but you might not have a choice." Rosalie grimaced as we rounded the corner. _

_I stopped short. In front of me was the entire family, crouched and looking ready to pounce at any moment. I strained my eyes, trying desperately to see through the fog and rain what their eyes saw with no problem. _

_The answer came into view with the telltale crunch of gravel at the farther end of the driveway. My stomach dropped as Jacob moved slowly towards the house, ignoring the piercing growls and snarls of my enraged family. _


	4. Chapter 4

The Jacob emerging from the shadows was none other than the Jacob from my nightmares. There was no trace of _m_yJacob behind those cold dark eyes. His glare shifted over each of the Cullen's before finally settling on me. Rosalie shifted her hand, which I was squeezing all too tightly, and pulled me protectively behind her back.

"He's alone." She said, aghast.

All I could do was stare, horrified at the scene unfolding before me.

"I'll stay with you," Rosalie promised me.

Jacob moved slowly, his features blank. When he finally looked away from me his eyes locked directly on Edward and a sickening grin spread across his face as he emitted a low chuckle.

"Relax. I'm just here to apologize to Bella."

"Apology not accepted." Edward snarled.

"I don't believe your name is Bella!" Jacob spat back. His sudden flare in temper caused another chain of angry snarls from the crowd of angry vampires assembled before him.

"How dare you come here, after what you did to _my wife,_ you filthy bastard!?" I had never heard Edward's voice contain so much hatred.

"What are you going to do, Edward? Kill me in front of Bella? You know that's not what she would want."

"Who the hell do you think you are to tell me what my wife would want you dirty mongrel!"

Another chuckle. "I don't think you've got it in you, leach." Jacob's eyes narrowed as another smirk crossed his face.

"Stop it!" Edward Bellowed.

I immediately understood what Jacob was doing. He was thinking every thought he could to paralyze Edward. He was subjecting Edward to every detail that I had tried so hard to spare him of.

"Jake, stop!" I sobbed, tearing my hand out of Rosalie's vice-like grip and stumbling forward. "What are you doing here, what do you want!?"

"I figured it would be best to apologize for my poor behavior." He grinned without taking his eyes off of Edward.

"Fine, you've apologized. Now get out of here." I pleaded. It was one thing for Edward to murder my ex-best friend, it was another for it to happen in front of me.

"I'll stick around for a little bit. I'm enjoying watching your husbands reaction to the experience that I denied him of." His lip curled up over his teeth in an evil grin.

"Stop it, Jake! What the fuck is wrong with you!?" I cussed. "What happened to my best friend..?"

"I'll tell you what happened to him, Bella. His life was stolen from him. He was turned into a werewolf because a bunch of worthless bloodsuckers had to invade the area, and then the only thing he ever loved was taken from him unjustly by the lowest of the leach-heads." He spat through clenched teeth.

"I was NEVER YOURS! I couldn't have been taken from you because I never belonged to you in the first place! Get out of here, Jake, get out!"

"That may be true, but now there will always be a part of you that does belong to me. Even if you don't know it yet. I will always own a part of you."

The next sequence of events happened so quickly that it was just a blur to me. I heard a tearing noise and saw the white shred of a tennis shoe fly through the air before a howl ripped through the clearing. Also, the entirety of the Cullens, with the exception of Rosalie, tensed and blurred with movement as snarls and growls of fury rang out. Rosalie gasped and grabbed my arm to pull my head protectively into her chest and shield my eyes. Another sob ripped through me as I heard the yelping of an injured dog and the angry and savage screams of my family pierce the air.

Suddenly it all stopped. There was silence in the clearing and I cautiously lifted my head from Rosalie's shoulder. Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, and Jasper had all backed off and left Edward alone, towering over a limp mass of russet colored fur laying in a heap on the gravel. I would have thought it dead if it weren't for the light heaving whimpers I could hear coming from that general direction. I knew it wasn't Edward whimpering, so I knew it was Jake.

I kept reminding myself, he brought it upon himself, he brought it upon himself…

Edward's pure and strong voice cut through the whimpers. "For Bella's sake, I'm going to leave your life hanging by a string right now. But so help me, if I ever see you anywhere near her.. Ever again, you will not survive it. If you even dare think about her one more time….. That will be the end of you." Jacob's only response was his shallow and tortured breathing.

"Bella," Edward held his hand out for me. Rosalie hesitantly nudged me forward and I took his hand and stood beside him. "This is your chance to tell Jacob….. Whatever you want. This _will_ be the last time he ever shows his face around you." He shot a dark glance at Jake.

I took a shallow breath and looked down at Jacob's wolf form. The memory of his garage and my near-demise immediately overtook me and I began trembling with fear.

"Jake, just leave. I don't want to see you ever again. I don't even want to understand why you did what you did to me, Jake, I just want you gone. Go, Jake. Go."

"You heard her." Edward growled. "Now, leave."

A low rumble began in Jake's throat and before I knew it, he was in the air with his canine teeth bared and aimed directly at Edward's exposed throat.

Before I could cry out, Edward had reacted. He gently pushed me out of the way and dodged Jake's teeth by inches. His attack brought on another round of fury from Emmett, Jasper, and Alice especially. Rosalie, Esme, and Carlisle all stepped forward to my aid and helped my up from the dirt. Jake suddenly looked so small standing off in front of Alice, Emmett, Jasper, and the ever-furious Edward. He shrank back towards the shadows and disappeared the way he came without another sound.

"We shoulda killed him." Emmett mused.

Edward was by my side in an instant, sweeping me into a loving embrace and burying his face in my hair. "It was very hard for me not to kill him as soon as he started thinking about what he did." Edward whispered. "But you were right. Living with it is going to be a much worse punishment than death for him. Are you alright, Bella?"

"Yes. I'll be fine."

His eyes were disbelieving, but he allowed it.

"Edward.." I whispered.

"Yes, love?"

"I don't want to be fragile anymore."

He drew a sharp breath and his arms tightened slightly.

"I know, Bella. I know. I should have changed you long ago. None of this ever should have happened." His face contorted slightly, displaying his clear indecision before his calm façade took over again. "Are you ready tonight?"

My breath caught in my throat. "Yes. I'm ready."

"Okay." He nodded. "Tonight then."

"Tonight." I agreed.

"But first…."

I looked up at him questioningly.

"I think Charlie should know about this."

"No, Edward. Charlie doesn't need to know…"

"It would be easier, though, Bella. Think about it. Charlie can't blame you for never coming back to Forks if he knows what Jacob did. If he knows… then it will hurt him less and make it less personal when he never see's you again. Plus, it can't hurt to have the sheriff be pissed at his sorry ass too."

I thought on that for a moment before agreeing. He made a good point, and though Charlie would be heartbroken that Jake would do that to me, he would understand more when I didn't come back. It wasn't exactly the terms that I wanted to leave Charlie with, but it would be better for him in the long run.

"Okay. I see your point."

"When are we going?" Edward rubbed his thumb gently along my bruise covered arm.

"Now." I winced. "The sooner the better_."_


	5. Chapter 5

I had not returned to the quaint little house that was the Swan residence since I had been married. I had said my goodbyes to Charlie at the wedding and had tried my hardest not to look back. The conditions of our sudden return were unlike what I had ever hoped a reunion would be like, but I knew that it was a necessary precaution.

As soon as the Volvo had slowed to a halt, Charlie was visible peering through the window at his unexpected visitors. He met us at the door and welcomed me home with a large, toothy, grin.

"Bells!" He beamed as he lifted me into a tight bear hug.

"Ow." I winced. My small protesting squeak of pain caused Charlie to quickly release his grip on me.

"I'm sorry, Bella… did I hurt y-" His voice faltered as his eyes caught the large amount of bruises covering the exposed skin of my arms. "What happened?" His voice suddenly became concerned and almost angry. I caught him glance accusingly at Edward for a brief moment.

"Well, Charlie, that's what we're here to talk about. May we come in?"

"Yeah, I, uh…… yeah, come in." He led the way towards the familiar kitchen and took his normal seat. Edward and I also sat in the same seats we always used to occupy.

"Have you heard about Jake, Bells?" He edged conversationally.

Edward and I exchanged a quick, panicked glance. "What about him?"

"He disappeared." Charlie shook his head, "Got in a fight with Sam Uley and Seth Clearwater and took off about three days ago. Hasn't come home since and all of his clothes are gone too. Billy's real worked up about it.."

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I saw him today."

"What?" Charlie's eyes grew large. "Where! That's great news, I should call Billy.."

"No, Charlie." Edward shook his head morosely, "He isn't coming back. Not any time soon, anyways.."

Charlie seemed to detect a hint of responsibility in Edward's tone and immediately went on the defensive.

"What did you do?"

"Edward didn't do anything, Dad. Well… not really… this isn't his fault, though." My voice cracked on the last word, giving away my emotions.

"Bella, what happened?" Charlie started looking frantic, "Tell me what's going on, right now…."

"I…" I couldn't do it. I couldn't find the words to say to Charlie, I couldn't come up with the right phrasing to break my fathers heart.. I looked up at Edward with pleading and tear filled eyes and he stepped in for me.

"Jacob raped her, Charlie."

In that instant, the whole universe seemed to crash down to a deafening halt. Charlie's face drained of all color and his fingers clenched the wood table with visible force. He said nothing, but his lips moved wildly as if this sudden news had rendered him incapable of speech.

"Jacob….Black?" He finally choked.

"Yes, Charlie. Jacob Black. Billy's son. Bella's best friend." Edward classified.

"No…. there must be some mistake… he would never….when did….how…" He struggled to form coherent sentencing. "This happened today?" He finally blurted out.

"No, three days ago. I think he might have killed me too if Sam and Seth hadn't saved my life." I whispered.

"I can't believe that Jake would do something like that. Are you alright, Bella?"

"Of course she isn't alright, Charlie." Edward's voice took on a defensive note, "Her best friend, who came heavily endorsed by you might I add, raped her and almost killed her. She's anything but alright."

"Edward," I warned him as I placed a hand on his shoulder in a calming gesture.

"I'm sorry." He apologized.

Charlie scrunched his face in pained thought and started shaking it back and forth.. "You're right, Edward. I'm sorry, Bells. As a cop, I normally have a better judgment of character, but it seemed that I had it mixed up. All this time I spent convinced that Edward was the villain, when it was really…." He trailed off and buried his face in his hands.

"How come you saw him today, though?" He mumbled.

"He had the intelligence to come poking around my house after what he did to Bella." Edward scoffed.

"Oooh." Charlie winced, "He never was the brightest, was he… What did he want?"

"Do give an unauthentic apology." Edward supplied. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes as the conversation brought back the events of the day.

"Is he alive?" Charlie edged, knowingly.

"Yes. It took a lot for us to leave him that way, but he's alive."

"Good… now it's my turn." Charlie nodded decisively as he pushed his chair away from the table. I exchanged a confused glance with Edward as we watched him cross the kitchen to the entry way where he lifted his rarely used gun belt off the hook and headed out the door.

"Char… Dad, wait!" I demanded frantically as I hurried out the door after him.

He turned slowly on the sidewalk and faced me as he fumbled with the clasp around his waist and checked the bullets in the guns.

"Dad, what are you doing?"

"What does it look like, Bella? I'm not going to stand by, as the chief of police, and let anyone get away with raping someone, especially my own daughter. I don't care if Billy is my friend or not, Jake needs to pay the consequences."

Edward chuckled lightly behind me. "He's paid, trust me."

"Dad, this is crazy. Jacob is more dangerous than you think. I know you're angry, but after what happened to him at the Cullen's, I don't think he'll be anywhere around here for a while. I don't want you to get hurt or lose your job over this, so please… don't go looking for him."

He gave me a long exasperated look. His face looked older from the last time I had seen him. More wrinkled and weathered. His eyes were scrunched beneath his brow and he looked honestly troubled.

He sighed in defeat as he took in my tenacious stance. "I won't look for him then. But damn it, Bella, if I see him ever again, his ass is grass. Never again will I leave this house without my gun." He promised me.

"There is no excuse for what he did to you, and I will make that very clear to him in time."

"I'm sorry, Charlie. I should have taken better care of her." Edward apologized

"No, Edward. I know you have never approved of her friendship with Jake and as it turns out, your intuition was better than mine, and for that, _I _should be the one who is sorry. I'm sorry that I didn't trust you." Charlie corrected.

This was getting out of hand. Now, not only were they both still blaming themselves, but they were actually fighting over who should shoulder the most blame. Ridiculous.

"Dad, we're leaving." I said it softly, but I chose the proper timing so that he heard me.

"Oh, well I understand if you have to get going now.. You've had a rough day.."

"Charlie, she means we're moving." Edward supplied.

"Well…. College doesn't start for another three months, right?"

He seemed genuinely confused. I felt a small pang of guilt suddenly. I knew I would have to tell him this sometime, I just hoped I would get to say it over the phone instead of in person. We couldn't stay in Forks after Edward changed me because it would be too hard to avoid humans in such a small town and the risk of being recognized in my changed state was too great.

"I can't stay here, Dad. I can't stay in Forks. I need to get away from this place." I did my best to throw as much emotion into my words as possible to make him understand..

"Oh, .. I…. I understand. It must be hard." He nodded, trying to conceal his disappointment. "Okay then, so are you guys going to Alaska right now?"

"Soon," Edward nodded, "As soon as possible."

"Okay. Well, Bells…" He looked at me questioningly, not knowing how to say goodbye after the conversation I had just provided for him.

"Don't go looking for him, promise me."

"I promise, Bella. But if I find him accidentally, I aint making no promises."

"Bye, Dad." The words left my mouth feeling awkwardly dry.

"Bye, Bells." He gave me a clumsy hug and patted me on the back.

"Edward," He turned to my husband and extended a hand. Edward accepted it graciously and shook it.

"I'll take better care of her, I promise."

"I know you will… make sure she's alright." He agreed. "Have a safe trip. Don't forget to call, Bells."

The tears didn't come until I turned to glance out the window at Charlie's shadow, standing alone in the front yard of my old home, equipped with his gun belt, ready to protect me. I hadn't expected him to be so defensive and protective of me, especially against Jake.

"He loves you, you know." He assured me as he reached for my hand.

"I know." I sniffed.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" His velvet voice invaded my thoughts and redirected my concentration on what I was going home to face.

"Are you?" was my only response.

"I have no choice. I've put it off for long enough already." He sighed.

"You do have a choice. Carlisle can do it."

"No, no. I can do it. This is what you want, I will do it."

I sucked in a deep breath as the Cullen residence came into view. This was it… what I had been waiting for. I had known so much pain in the last few days, that the idea of more of it wasn't as frightening as it used to be. I was ready, and I knew it. My main concern was for Edward. I didn't want to hurt him, and I knew that he was scared.

Just three days worth of pain, and an eternity full of happiness.

I could do this.

"You ready?" He repeated.

"I'm ready."


	6. Chapter 6

Alice squeezed me tighter than usual when Edward and I arrived home.

"Don't worry," She whispered in my ear. "You'll make it through the next three days."

"I'm not worried, Alice. I trust him."

She squeezed my shoulder in encouragement and bounced back over to her seat on the couch. Jasper approached us next, addressing Edward more than myself.

"Edward, do you want me to…"

"Yes, it can't hurt to try… but if it's too much for you…" Edward responded to the second half of Jasper's unasked question hesitantly.

It didn't take long for me to catch on. Alice and Jasper were the last members of the family to have joined before myself. Jasper's power had not been tested on the pain inflicted during the change. I was immediately comforted by the fact that there may be hope for a peaceful change. I wasn't worried about how much it would hurt me, but if it did hurt a lot, I was certain I wouldn't be able to hide it from Edward, and I didn't want him to see that. But there was a negative side to this experiment also. If Jasper was going to sit there and focus on making me feel less pain, he would share my pain with me. I didn't think it was right for him to make that sacrifice for me.

"No." I decided aloud.

Both Edward and Jasper looked at me, confused.

"I know what you're talking about, and my answer is no. Jasper, you're not going to suffer through the pain of a change again just to make things easier for me. I'm not that big of a pansy. You all lived through it, and it wasn't your choice. Why should I get out easy? I can handle it. Don't torture yourself. Take Alice somewhere nice, or something. Don't stay in the house and subject yourself to that…"

"I'm not going anywhere!" Alice protested from her seat across the room.

"Neither am I, Bella." Jasper agreed with his wife. "I am staying here no matter how much it hurts me. When you wake up, I may be needed."

I gulped at his words. It was a topic that I had discussed in depth with Edward. We didn't know how I would react to the change. No one had ever been changed here before who knew what they were getting into. What if I went insane and tried to kill everyone? I shuddered at the thought and pushed it from my mind. I wouldn't.

"I don't want to hurt you." I whispered in a tone barely audible to human ears. I knew Jasper heard it though.

"How about this, Bella. I will try to make things easier for you… try to make there be less pain for you, but if it starts to hurt me… I will leave. Not leave the house, but I'll just keep my distance from you until the pain is gone. But believe me, Bella, I have a high pain tolerance. I'm sure no amount of pain will drive me away from my sister during one of the hardest times of her life." His sincerity rang in every word and nearly brought tears to my eyes.

I couldn't argue with such a selfless offer, so I simply nodded my acceptance. "Thanks Jasper."

"What's going on in here?" Emmett's vice boomed out as he entered the living room with Rosalie slung playfully over his back.

"Just discussing Bella's change." Alice chimed happily.

"No way! Edward, you're finally going to grow some balls!?"

I groaned and rolled my eyes. This was Emmett's preferred way to pick fights with Edward lately. He didn't mean any harm, but he knew that with Edward's defensiveness on the topic it would normally result in a wrestling match. I moved backwards, taking myself out of the line of fire as Edward leapt forward with a growl and tackled Emmett to the floor. Rosalie had barely enough time to leap from Emmett's shoulders and land beside me before our husbands began the common display of their immaturity. We crossed our arms and looked upon the brawl with the indifference that had been instilled in us after about the 7th recurring fight.

"Ow! OW!" Emmett protested as Edward appeared on his back twisting his arm in an unnatural way behind his back. Suddenly the tables turned and Emmett's look of pain was replaced with a smug victory grin as he gathered Edward into a headlock. In a series of movements that my human eyes could not follow, the upper hand switched back and forth several more times before a sharp pain in my stomach drew my focus away from them.

"Ugh," I winced as I clutched my stomach. "That's weird."

"What's wrong?" Rosalie laid her hand on my arm and studied me with concerned eyes.

"I don't know. My stomach's burning… I feel like there's a gallon of acid in there suddenly…" I groaned.

Edward and Emmett stopped fighting immediately and rushed to my side.

"Are you okay?" Edward frantically demanded. His voice mixing with the concerned "What's wrong with her?" That Alice and Jasper provided from across the room.

"Do you need to use the bathroom?" Emmett smirked. The comment was immediately followed by an "Ow!" as Rosalie smacked him alongside of his head. "I was just asking…" He grumbled.

The light mood in the household was a relief to me. I was so afraid that the family was going to treat me like an unstable explosive for the rest of my life. I suspected that Rosalie had something to do with it, and I appreciated it greatly.

"I'm okay, I'm okay." I assured Edward, who was now visibly preparing himself to call for Carlisle. "Just a random cramp." I waved it off. The pain had come and gone quickly and no traces of it remained. I was beginning to wonder if I was going insane and making up things.

"And I don't need to use the bathroom." I shot a glance at Emmett. "The only reason I would need a bathroom right now is so I could shove your head in the toilet and flush it a few times." I threatened.

"Whoa, Emmett. You better watch out for that one in three days. She'll be after you with a vengeance." Jasper winked from his seat next to Alice across the room.

As the laughter died down, it was replaced with an awkward silence that was rare in the Cullen household. Especially in such close proximity to loud Emmett and chatty Alice.

"Whenever you're ready." Edward whispered in my ear, interpreting my facial expressions.

I met his eyes for a long moment. All the concern and fear in the world were present in those beautiful, topaz eyes, but alongside of that, was a blazing determination.

I nodded my head to signify my preparedness and he nodded back.

"Carlisle want's to see us in his office, first." He informed me.

"Ok." I agreed.

The light and cheery mood of the house did a complete 180 and was replaced, now, with a very serious ambiance as they all recognized the gravity of the situation. This was the last time any of them would ever see me as a human. The last time I would be the klutzy, embarrassable, fragile Bella they had all known. The support and love was visible in every pair of golden eyes and I was suddenly overcome with a very warm feeling. One by one they all said their goodbyes and wished me good luck.

Alice engulfed me in a hug that would have been considered much too powerful for a girl her size and told me that she loved me. Jasper, though I could tell he held his breath, bravely hugged me also. He verbalized nothing, but his eyes held all that I needed to know. Emmett spun me in a circle and whispered something in my ear about going easy on him when I was a vampire. I made no promises. Rosalie placed her hands on my shoulders and stared at me for a long moment before finally saying.. "I think you're making the right choice."

At those words, I was speechless. Rosalie had always been adamant about my humanity. She thought that I was absurd to be giving up everything that she wanted, but she had kept quiet about it since Sam and Seth had brought me home. Tears sprung to my eyes in response and she leaned in closer to hug me. "You're my sister and I couldn't live without you now. I only wish we would have done it sooner so that you didn't have to go through.."

I cut her off.

"Thank you for wanting to keep me." I whispered back in her ear.

"Of course I want to keep you, Bella. You're family and I love you."

I smiled weakly as she handed me over to Edward. He stared at me wordlessly as we ascended the stairs to Carlisle's office, keeping an entirely human pace.

"Come in," Carlisle spoke before Edward had even knocked.

We entered the study to find Carlisle at his usual place behind his desk. Esme was curled up on the leather sofa facing him and she patted to the seats next to her. Once we had taken a position next to Esme, Carlisle began talking. Esme wound her fingers through mine and gave me an encouraging smile as we listened.

"Edward, are you prepared to do this yourself, or would you rather I did it?" Carlisle began in a very straightforward approach.

"I can do it." He assured him. "But I would appreciate it if you were standing by just in case I get carried away." He threw a quick glance at me, "It's not possible, of course, for me to get carried away. But just in case." He promised.

I nodded my understanding, knowing full well that the possibility of him getting carried away and killing me was in fact a reality, contrary to any amount of reassurance he could provide.

"Right." Carlisle continued, "So, the fact stands that Jacob broke the treaty. This means that we do not have to leave before we change her because all rules are moot. We will move in 5 days." He said authoritatively. Esme and Carlisle had bought a cottage on a small island off the coast. We planned to live there for 5 years or so, until I was ready to be reacquainted with civilization.

Edward and I nodded in unison as Carlisle continued.

"Bella, Rosalie and Alice will remove your clothing and buy you new things. The smell of your old human self will not be something you need to experience after your change. We will also change the bedding around the entire house and wash every fabric that smells like you to make things easier."

I frowned. It seemed like too much work on my expense.

Esme caught my expression and gave my hand a loving squeeze. "We did it for every one here, Bella. You're no exception."

"After it has been done, Edward, I will be staying close by. Either inside of the room, or just outside of it. Every change is unpredictable and we don't know how she will react."

I could tell that Edward wanted to protest, but I squeezed his arm gently and silently pleaded for him to restrain his argument.

His protest disappeared and Carlisle shot me a grateful glance.

"I know you want this to be private, Edward, but its too risky."

"Yes." He said simply.

"Right, then. It's settled." He clapped as he stood and walked briskly over to where we sat. Carlisle swept me into a quick hug and then passed me to Esme who did the same before releasing me to Edward. He grabbed my hand and led me quickly out of Carlisle's study and into his… our bedroom.

He stood for a moment with his hand on the door after he shut it. Before he crossed to where I was standing and scooped me into his arms. He stared at me for a long moment before I finally spoke.

"Why wont you kiss me?"

He looked shocked. His grip on me loosened exponentially and he cocked his head to the side quizzically.

"You haven't kissed me in 4 days." I said quietly, staring at the floor.

He didn't speak. There was nothing he could really say.

"It's because of what happened in the shower, isn't it?" I queried.

"I…" He faltered, "I suppose that's it. I just don't want you to… I don't want to upset you."

"You're upsetting me more by not showing any affection at all. The last memory of any intimacy at all is of Jacob raping me." I saw him wince at the words and immediately regretted my phrasing.

"I just don't know how to handle this." He said ashamedly. "It kills me, Bella, to not know how to touch you, to not know how to touch my wife without scaring her or bringing back bad memories."

I didn't hesitate. I needed Edward to touch me. I needed to feel that he loved me, not just hear it. I decidedly leaned forward in his arms and pressed my lips to his forcefully. His returning kiss exhibited all the longing he had built up in him for the past 4 days and he gave himself over to me fully. His lips parted slightly around mine as he carried me to the bed. He set me down cautiously, as if he was waiting for me to push him away. Instead, I pulled him closer. Being close to Edward was so much different than being close to Jacob. It wasn't forced, and when my heart beat began to increase, it wasn't from fear. I curled my fingers around the collar of his button up shirt and secured his body to mine. He cupped his hands around my face and supported his weight carefully so that he was touching me, but not pressing his body weight against me. I slid my hands down his collar and began fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He froze, his lips still pressed to mine.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Bella?" He breathed against my lips.

"Stop treating me like I'm so broken. It's a lot easier to pretend that I'm not broken when people aren't walking on eggshells around me."

"But you are broken," He pointed out.

"So shutup and fix it." I whispered against his chin before pulling his lips back against my own.

We had made several attempts at making love in the time following our wedding, but Edward's self assessed lack of control had always brought us up short.

Tonight was the first night that our lovemaking was successful. As far as I was concerned, it was just as it should be. Jacob was out of my mind completely and Edward was careful not to push me too far. He let me make the big moves and he let me perform the removal of my clothing to prevent another shower fiasco. Twilight found us laying together, wrapped in the sheets. Edward rested his head on my chest and listened to the steady beating of my heart. My breath caught in my throat as he lifted my wrist to his nose and inhaled my scent heavily.

I met his gaze gently and nodded.

"I love you, Bella." He whispered against my wrist.

"I love you too." I breathed as he pulled his lips back and set his teeth against the tender vein of my wrist and took a deep breath.


	7. Chapter 7

I drew in a sharp breath as his teeth grazed the skin on my wrist. I knew it was coming, but that did not prepare me for the pain. It seemed so much worse than the first time when his teeth finally broke my skin. I struggled to compose myself and not let the cries of pain escape me. I wriggled slightly in discomfort and his arm tightened around me to hold me still. Fiery spasms of pain shot through my arm and a small moan escaped me. I could feel the blood leaving me and I could count each mouthful he indulged in. One mouthful, two mouthfuls. How much blood could I afford to lose before I lost consciousness? Three, four. A better question, yet, how much could I afford to lose before I died? Five, six. He was taking too much, I could feel myself getting weaker. I raised my unoccupied hand and pinched the bridge of my nose shut so I didn't smell the blood that I could feel dampening the skin around his icy lips. Seven, eight. I longed to see him, but hishead was ducked out of my view and his mouth still securely connected to my wrist. I felt nauseated and I could feel the familiar darkness settling over me. No, I had to stay awake. I had to make sure he stopped, but then… what could I do. There was no way I could stop him. The pain washed over me again and I cried out. Unconsciousness was looking more and more attractive every minute. At least if I were passed out, I could escape from the hurt, if even for a short while. Even so, I stubbornly struggled to retain my coherency. I had to at least see his face before I passed over into the blissful unconscious known as sleep for the last time. He drank more. Surely I could not survive this. Every swallow brought me closer and closer to death, but then, it was over. The face of my angel swam before me. Even through my unclear and hazy vision, I could see the pain and the longing in his eyes. He longed for more, he needed more of my precious blood, but his love for me was denying him his thirst. The hunger in his eyes was accompanied by a deep and recognizable regret. Edward's lips were blood stained and his unneeded breath was coming out in thick gasps. As his breath washed over my face, the usual sweet scent was replaced with the sickening and immediately assessable rusty scent of blood.

"Ugh," I groaned as I felt my head snap backwards and dangle lifelessly over the support of his cold arm.

"Bella?" He frantically searched for a response, "Bella! Oh no, oh no, please no!" My body shook with the sobs that were not my own. "No, what have I done, oh my God, BELLA!" He gently shook me. I longed to reach out and comfort him, but I couldn't. Was I really dying? "Bella!" He shouted again. "Oh, God. Carlisle!"

I heard the door open and shut and suddenly I felt a cold hand circle around my wound-free wrist.

"Carlisle, I took too much, I think I may have…. Oh no…"

"Edward, she's alive. Her pulse is weak, you definitely took too much, but she will make it. She will probably be unconscious for a while though." I felt the sudden urge to sigh in relief. I wasn't dead. That was good. "There is nothing I can do to help you while she is passed out like this. Let her sleep as long as possible. I will be in the hallway. She will be in a lot of pain when she awakens."

I decided very quickly that my current situation was not fair. I was not asleep, I could hear everything they were saying… but I couldn't respond. What was worse, I could feel every ounce of pain coursing through my body, and couldn't even react to it. I was confined in the prison of my body with no communication to the outside world, and I couldn't make a final escape to the sanctuary of sleep. I began to pout mentally. If I could have, I would have crossed my arms and grumbled some incoherent swear words, but as it stood, I couldn't. I heard Carlisle's exit become pronounced by the click of the door. As soon as he was gone, Edward tucked my body securely in the blankets and clutched me to him. His breath still smelled like blood and I mentally cringed away from it, but physically there was no escaping the torment. As the searing heat crippled my mind, I vaguely heard Edward whimpering in the background,

"I'm sorry, Bella. I'm so, so sorry. I don't want you to hurt, I'm sorry. I wish there was another way, I'm such a selfish bastard for taking your life like this." If I could have, I would have reached out and smacked him.

Pain rippled through my every pore with such force that I began to become appreciative of my immobile state. I wouldn't have been able to withstand this agony without writhing and screaming in pain if I wasn't in this vegetative state. As if the burning in my veins wasn't enough, an additional burning in the pit of my stomach joined it. It was the same pain from earlier, only much more pronounced and vigilant. The added pain sent my mind into a fit of spasms, and then the same incapacitation that had taken my body finally consumed my mind and everything went blank and happily numb.

As my unconsciousness lessened and lessened, I began writhing on the bed. Carlisle came in from his adamant post outside the bedroom and helped my sobbing husband pin me to the bed. I could feel that the sheets were wet from my pools of sweat, but I didn't care. I tossed and turned and every now and then a scream would escape me. I wanted to die. I was ashamed to even think it, but there was a long period of time where I wished Edward wouldn't have stopped drinking. I wished he would have just sucked me dry and saved me this pain.

Though I tried so hard to conceal it, they knew I was in pain. It was worse when Jasper wasn't around. He sat close to the bed wincing from a lower degree of my agony trying to place a calm and serene mood upon me. Sometimes it worked, and sometimes I fought it. He would occasionally rise and grab my hand in his when I went into a common fit of anguish. I could feel him recoil as my waves of distress poured over him, but he never deviated. He stayed by my side as long as I needed him.

Jasper, Edward, and Carlisle were the three that stayed constantly. Alice came and went, but I knew it was too hard for her to see me like this. A part of me wondered how awful this must be for Edward and knew that it would be an incomparable amount next to the rest. Esme flitted in and out repeatedly bringing me wet towels to put on my head and sponge the sweat off with and she held my hand when it was available. I only remember brief visits from Emmett. He would kneel by the bed and rub my back encouragingly as I twisted contorted in agony. I remember him whispering something about how great it will be when I could kick his ass and to be strong and look to the future. The visits I remember the most, though were the ones from Rosalie. I was still not used to this new bond that had sprung up between us, but aside from Edward, she was the most helpful to me. She said nothing, but she curled up beside me and she held my hand for hours at a time. She was even better than Edward was at being a statue. She didn't try to restrain me, she didn't try to comfort me with words and tell me that it would be alright, she just held my hand and let me look into her eyes for as long as I needed to. Her soundless support gave me something to take the focus away from all of the pain for a while, though the distraction never lasted long. I tried so hard not to let any noise come out of my mouth because I knew that all that would do was make things harder for Edward and it certainly wasn't going to make things better for me.

I felt everything, though. Every contraction of my hardening muscles, every painful beat of my heart - propelling the venom deeper and deeper, every layer of my skin solidifying and every vein in my body burning, I felt it all. It was an inescapable torture that I had willingly placed on myself. I tried to remind myself of all of the positive. Not being breakable, for one…. Being able to kick Jacob's ass myself, for another… and being able to make love to my husband without caution..

Like everything, however, those thoughts could only distract me so efficiently before the full force of my pain hit me again.

The morning came on the third day to find me doubled over on my side gasping for air. Carlisle said that it gets better when my heart stops beating, but it was still going full speed. Every beat sent new waves of pain through me. I was becoming annoyed with some repetitive noise that was echoing in the room, but became even more ashamed when I discovered that the noise was my own gasping and moaning

"Edward." I would repeat constantly.

"Yes, love, I'm here, I will never leave you."

"It hurts, Edward."

"I know, Bella. I'm so sorry."

"My stomach burns."

"Everything burns." He countered.

"Especially that, though." I admitted.

He looked up to Carlisle and received only a shrug in response.

"How much longer."

"Her heart should stop beating soon." Carlisle responded.

At that, Edward swooped his head down and laid it on my hardened chest and listened to my heart slow, and then beat its final beat. I was please when it finally gave up the fight. The burning vanished almost everywhere, but the crippling pain in my abdomen doubled.

"What is that?" Edward's voice suddenly became concerned. "Carlisle, what is that!"

I strained my ears to listen. Even though I could feel that my heart was immobile, I could still hear the steady rhythm of a faint heartbeat coming from somewhere. Who would bring a human to a house with a newborn? I wondered through the pain.

"She smell's wrong too." He whispered. "There's something different."

"Shit." I groaned as I doubled over again. I was still a freak.

"What is it, Carlisle, what's wrong?" Edward's voice became frantic.

"I don't…." His voice trailed off as he studied me some more… "No, it can't be…"

"What?" Edward was shouting now. I really wished he wouldn't. It hurt my ears.

"Edward," Carlisle said in a hushed tone that was obviously not meant for me to hear. My ears had turned bionic, though, it seemed, and I picked it up without problem. "Edward, I think she's pregnant."

All time came to a roaring halt. I forgot the pain that was tearing at my stomach, I forgot the change I had just made and the move that was ahead of me, and I suddenly felt sick.

He was wrong. He must be. Even if I was pregnant before, I couldn't still be now… after a change like that. No baby could survive it… it was impossible, I wouldn't accept it.

But even through my adamant denial, a small part of me was unconvinced. It pondered quietly as the rest of my mind was in a protesting uproar… _I once classified the existence of vampires and werewolves as an impossibility…is there really such a thing as __**impossible**__?_

A/N

Before you all FREAK OUT on me about the medical inconsistencies and the impossibility of this happening, let me remind you that this is a fiction.

fic·tion fíksh'n n

1. literary works of **imagination**: novels and stories that describe **imaginary people and events **

2. work of fiction: a novel, story, or other work of fiction

It's not true, it's not real life, its my imagination. Roll with it and don't give me too much crap about it. If you don't like it, then don't read it.

But for those who will remain supportive even as I confirm your worst fears, I thank you graciously and promise a hasty update asap.

This is the second one in a night though…


	8. Chapter 8

A/N

Thank you all for your reviews. Your reviews are what keep me writing.

I hope this answers some of your questions and you don't hate me too much for my cruel twist of fate.

"Carlisle, it's been almost 4 days, shouldn't she have been completely changed by now?" Edward's voice was laced with concern as he repeatedly stroked my hair.

I was laying on my side on the bed, trembling in fear. I was thirsty, I could feel it, but I wasn't in pain anymore. I was just scared.

Pregnant.

That was a word I was never supposed to have to fear. They told me that I couldn't get pregnant. What happened?

The door clicked open gently and Jasper entered as Carlisle spoke. "I don't know what's taking the change so long to complete… its not normal."

"She isn't in pain anymore." Jasper's frown was audible in his words. "She's afraid."

Tattletale, I thought pointedly.

"Bella, can you hear me?" Edward gently shook my shoulders. I waited a moment before opening my eyes. Now that Jasper had ratted me out, I couldn't keep putting this off any longer.

"Yes. I hear you."

"Are you alright, Bella?"

"I'm alright… a bit thirsty, I'll admit, and I can smell a slight amount of blood from somewhere, but I'm alright."

The mood in the room seemed to relax exponentially at that. They were still braced for the psychotic break they all expected me to have when I awoke. What a disappointment I must have been.

"What are you afraid of?" Carlisle pressed.

I looked around at the three different sets of eyes staring at me. They obviously didn't know that I had heard Carlisle's announcement of my current medical state.

"Hunting." I replied honestly, "And the fact that I'm pregnant when it's impossible is also rather frightening, I wont lie." I mumbled.

"Oh, you…. You heard that?" Edward frowned

"She's WHAT!?" Jasper gasped.

Silence echoed painfully around the room for a moment before Carlisle spoke again, finally.

"I have a theory."

Of course he did. Carlisle _always_ had a theory and on most occasions, he was correct.

He paused a moment to allow for objections or interruptions before continuing. "Her pregnancy before the change must have been due to Jacob, which is obvious seeing as Edward is infertile. A normal pregnancy in addition to the vampire venom would have rendered the unborn baby as unable to age and Bella would have been stuck being pregnant for all of eternity. But this was not a normal pregnancy. The child in question was part werewolf."

Edward and I winced simultaneously at the idea that I was carrying Jacob's baby. The first thing I noticed then was the absence of tears that would have surely been running down my cheeks if I could have produced them.

"It is my theory," Carlisle continued, "and I have put a great deal of thought into this, I assure you - But it is my theory that when Edward injected his venom into your system, Bella, it reacted as a polar opposite of the werewolf genetics and they cancelled each other out. In other words, the vampire venom erased the werewolf gene, and now you are carrying a human baby. This would not only explain the faint scent of human blood still in you, it would also explain the heartbeat. You see, in a normal pregnancy, the heartbeat would not show up until the baby was at least 3 months along, but seeing as Jacob is a werewolf and he is meant to have insane growth spurts, this baby was growing double time…"

"That would also explain her burning cramps…" Jasper mused, "And it explains the conflicting emotions I am getting from her. It's like I am getting two separate peoples emotions… which means that I can sense the baby, too."

"But still," Edward interjected, "Wouldn't the baby grow normally. They don't hit the werewolf growth spurt at a certain time… isn't there other rules and limitations that go with it…"

"I believe that since at the time the child was conceived, Jacob was a phasing, fully functional, werewolf, which may play into the equation. He had the outward look of a human occasionally, but for all intensive purposes, he was indeed a werewolf." Carlisle pointed out.

I felt sick, suddenly. All this talk of Jacob was making me nauseous, and the thought that I was carrying an impossible child in a dead womb that his actions created was almost too much to bear.

"I don't want to have Jacob's baby." I whispered. Edwards arms tightened around me.

"Don't you see, Bella?" Carlisle explained further, "You aren't having anyone's child but your own. Edward's venom reacted with the werewolf genes in the babies genetic makeup, and now the child is your own. This is truly a medical miracle. You are a woman… a dead woman, mind you, who is giving birth to a baby that has no true father. You are defying every law and norm set out in the guidelines of childbearing."

I groaned and threw myself back on the bed. This could not be happening to me. Why me?

"But Bella, this is not going to be easy for you. You are going to have to nurture yourself like a human would until the baby is born."

"WHAT!?" I gasped as I shot forward into a sitting position.

"I mean, you'll have to eat human food to nourish the baby, and drink water. I don't think you'll have to do it as much as if you were human, because the food is useless to you and will probably just go straight to the baby, but nonetheless, it will need to be done. I don't know how, Bella, but you have a living baby inside of you, and I am going to do everything I can to help you get through this."

"This is ridiculous. Can't anything ever go normally!?" I moaned.

"I'm sorry, Bella. This is very unfair to you, I know." Carlisle agreed.

"Wait," Jasper spoke again, "Irina… from the Denali clan… she's a… a…. baby doctor?"

"Yes, you're right Jasper, good thinking." Carlisle applauded, "Irina used to work in a hospital as an OB/GYN doctor a while back. I will give her a call tomorrow and explain the situation to her and see what help she can offer us."

"What now?" Edward's voice was barely above a whisper.

"Now, Bella needs to hunt. The baby might need human food, but Bella still needs vampire food for herself. I'll give you two a minute. I'll go break this news to the family and we can all go hunting when you're ready Bella."

I didn't respond. I looked at the floor in disgust as Jasper and Carlisle departed. My ears seemed to be able to hear everything. I heard the floorboards creak as they descended the stairs, and I heard every word Carlisle said as he called the family in order and began explaining to them how their sister was _still_ a freak even as a vampire. I heard the gasps of shock and the cried of horror that resonated from each one of them, and worse still… I could pinpoint the producer of each noise.

"Bella.." Edward's velvety voice snapped me back to my own surroundings. "Bella, I'm so sorry. This shouldn't have… I don't understand how… it's just all so wrong."

"Dammit.." I growled.

"What?"

"I really am _that girl_ aren't I?"

He furrowed his brow in confusion.

"You know," I elaborated, "The girl who gets married right out of high school and gets knocked up and all.."

"You are that girl." He agreed. "But you know what? I love that girl with all of my heart and I think she will make a great mother, even though it's unexpected." He picked me easily up off of the bed and tucked me in his lap protectively. I laid my head against his chest and we sat in silence for a while before he spoke again.

"I was so afraid that I had killed you."

"But you didn't." I pointed out.

"No, but I took too much blood from you.. I shouldn't have…"

"Was it really that tasty?" I wrinkled my nose.

"Yes… it was the most amazing thing… you're just too appealing for your own good."

"Not anymore, though."

"What are you talking about? You are still just as appealing now as you have ever been… just in different ways." He winked.

I gulped as I realized that I didn't know what I looked like.

"Are my eyes red?"

"I can't tell," He shrugged, "They're black right now. We need to get you hunting."

I winced again. Hunting was not appealing to me at all.

"But first…" He continued, "There's a large family of anxious vampires waiting to welcome you back and congratulate you awkwardly on your news." He smiled. "I don't think any of them are quite sure how to react to your pregnancy. They don't know weather you're angry about it or happy about it, so they don't know weather to congratulate you, or condole you."

"I don't even know if I'm angry or happy yet." I frowned.

"Don't think about that now." Edward said as he lifted my chin to gaze into my eyes. "Lets take this one step at a time. We'll talk about that tonight."

I nodded my agreement before he continued. "But right now, there's something I've been wanting to do.." He grinned mischievously as he cupped his hands under my chin and held it in place so he could cover my lips with his own. He felt so much softer under my touch, now. His marble lips moved over my own so perfectly, so effortlessly. For the first time in our relationship, he parted my lips with his tongue and let it slip inside of my mouth. There was no venom that he had to swallow back anymore, no precautions that we needed to take in the interest of my well-being. Kissing Edward now was a whole new and welcomed experience. I longed to relearn every aspect of him, but I knew that we didn't have that time right now. It was a funny thought, really. Being a vampire finally, and not having the time. Sure enough, the kiss only lasted seconds more before Edward broke the contact.

"Carlisle is calling for us." He groaned.

"Lets do this." I winked enthusiastically. I realized precipitously that my voice was different. It was sweeter now, more melodic.

Edward laughed slightly at the sudden enthusiasm his kiss had instilled in me and took my hand as we left the room and descended the stairs. I still felt like I would trip and fall at any moment, but I could feel the differences in my body as I moved. I could feel the hardened muscles flexing under my pale skin. I could feel the raw power emanating from my every pore. I suddenly felt very intimidated by my new power as I flew down the stairs quickly with Edward at my side. An uproar arose in the living room as we entered.

"Bella!" Alice squealed happily as we came into her sight. She swept me into a hug and danced me happily around the room. Emmett stole me from her next and threw me lightly in the air.

"Sis! Great to have you back!" He set me down on the ground and beamed at me. Jasper approached behind me and threw his arms around me in a tight embrace.

"You did so well, Bella." He applauded as he planted a light and unexpected kiss on my cheek.

Esme hugged me gingerly and said. "I'm so proud of you, Bella. We'll get this all straightened out, I promise."

Rosalie was last to approach me. She embraced me warmly and whispered in my ear, "Yet another reason for me to be jealous of you.

I smiled weakly and took Edward's hand again as Alice frowned in concentration.

"If the baby is human… oh no!"

"What, Alice? What's wrong?" I groaned.

"The baby has…._blood_"

"Oh, God." Emmett moaned as he threw himself on the couch,

The mood in the room fell considerably with this realization.

"What… does that mean I will like… want to eat my own stomach?"

"I don't know, Bella." Carlisle frowned, "But that will be a definite obstacle. Right now the baby doesn't have enough blood to be a noticeable threat, but it will happen eventually, and we will have to be very careful when that happens.."

"What about when it's born.." I considered quietly.

"Those are bridges we will cross when we come to them, Bella." Esme said gently as she placed a loving hand on my shoulder. "For now, you need to hunt."

* * *

CLICK THE BUTTON! REVIEW, REVIEW, REVIEW.

I can has reviews nao? plz, thnxs.


	9. Chapter 9

The Jeep pulled to halt at the end of the seemingly deserted trail.

"Ready?" Edward asked gently.

I wasn't ready for this. I didn't want to hunt. I knew I needed to, I could feel it, but I was still very nervous. Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, Alice, Edward, and myself had all left to go hunting twenty minutes ago, and with Emmett's hazardous driving habits, we arrived at our destination - 1 hour out of forks - in a fifth of the time that it would have taken a normal, law-abiding citizen without extra sensory cop detectors built in to their passengers minds. My husband and siblings were under strict orders from Esme to keep me safe and away from human's. I hope desperately that her warning would be inane, but I knew, as a newborn, there was always that risk of being overpowered by instinct when first introduced to human blood.

Instinct. That's what I was afraid of, I realized. What If I didn't have any instincts, first of all. And even if I did, what if they didn't work. I took a moment to rationalize my thoughts and discovered that I was more afraid of having an instinct than I was of not. I feared losing control of who I was and surrendering my body to pure animalistic impulse alone.

I was snapped out of my reverie by Edward's gentle hand on my face. He turned my head towards him until he caught my gaze. "Are you alright, Bella?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." I nodded.

"You seem preoccupied."

"I was just thinking."

The look on his face told me that he was battling with the decision to ask me what I was thinking about or just let it go. Thankfully, he allowed the point to drop and helped me out of the jeep.

Once I was standing safely beside my family members, his fingers snaked between mine.

I looked around and found that Alice and Jasper, and Rosalie and Emmett were doing the same. This was how they ran, I understood; together.

"We'll stay close to you," Alice grinned widely, "But nothing's going to go wrong."

I nodded and gripped Edward's hand harder.

I had no idea of how fast I would be able to go, and I was instantly reminded of the first time Edward had ran with me on his back. I had been afraid that he was going to fall or hit a tree, but now, those were the obstacles I feared for myself. Before I knew what was happening, we were flying through the trees. Edward urged me to go faster with his own speed and the fear of hitting a tree abruptly vanished. The simplicity of running stunned me. It was as effortless as breathing. I could feel my face contort to accommodate a huge smile and Edward grinned knowingly at me as we glided easily through the trees.

Edward's body alerted me to the presence of our prey by stiffening and becoming tense. I surveyed the air with my nose and was immediately overpowered by an unexpected scent.

"Deer," I identified easily.

He smiled and nodded. "Ladies first."

I took a deep breath and closed my eyes. I could sense the deer's distance from me without trouble, and my mouth began to water. No, that wasn't water… it was venom. Before I knew it, my grip on Edwards hand had been broken and I was sprinting away from him through the tree's. I heard the rustle of leaves behind me as he caught a different scent and began making his way towards it. Every step that I made was like my long lost pulse. I neared my prey and I suddenly needed to assistance. Nothing mattered but the deer I was closing in on, nothing was more important to me in that moment than the throbbing vein beneath the thin skin covering its neck. It was in front of me, then. Feet away. I leapt upon its back and something within me whispered _break it's neck, don't let it struggle. Less struggle, less blood wasted_. I found myself nodding at the authoritative and seemingly much more experienced voice in my head. My hands wound their way through its antlers and clutched at its face. Fear radiated through the animals body and his eyes became frantic with desperation as it ran faster. _As if it could outrun me_. The voice chuckled. With one surreal movement its pain was ended and it crumpled to the ground beneath me. Before I knew what I was doing, I was gulping down mouthfuls of the very substance that would have made the weak and fragile human Bella faint. I greedily indulged in more and more until the flow began to thin and lessen. _More, I want more_! The voice urged hungrily. I stood and sprinted off through the forest, obeying the desire that raged within me. I searched with every sense my body possessed for the scent that I hungered for, but to no avail. I caught it once, but recognized the weak scent and sweet smell mingling with it as Alice's kill. _MORE_! The voice was even more frantic now. Then, it hit me. The power of the blood was like a bag of bricks hitting me square in the face. I stopped dead in my tracks as the scent hit me. _YES! Now! Go now_! I heard in my head as I whirled in the direction of the appetizing scent. I was about to begin running when I heard Alice and Edward shouting.

"NO, Bella NO!"

"It's a human Bella, don't do it!"

_Selfish_! The voice hissed, _They just want the blood for themselves_!

Ignoring their shouts as they approached me, I obeyed the voice and began running. A wail of defeat escaped me as Emmett and Rosalie cut off my hunt and tackled me to the ground.

"Get off!" I growled. "Let go of me!"

Alice and Edward had caught up to us at this point and Jasper trailed shortly behind them.

"No, Bella, it's a human. You can't." Edward did his best to soothe me.

"Just once, I just need…please, just once." I begged.

"No, Bella. We can't let you do that. You'll regret it in the morning. You're stronger than this."

_LIES! I need the blood, get it now!_

_I_ need it now? I frowned for a moment before my eyes opened wide with terror. The voice in my head was _me_. The voice in my head was the voice of… _my _instinct. The voice in my head was the predator that I had become. As this realization hit me, I heard myself… the real me, not the monster in my head, cry out - "No!"

My outburst was taken as an opposal to their restriction rather than recognized as the bitter resentment I had just then acquired towards myself.

"Bella, lets get you home." Emmett gripped my arms in restraint and lifted me from the ground. Jasper grabbed my other arm and they braced themselves for my furious rebellion. It didn't come. I had pushed the vicious voice from my mind and came back to reason. I couldn't attack a human, and I knew it. Bella knew that… but the voice in her head wasn't so convinced. I felt Jasper forcing calm and acceptance through my body and I was not appreciative. I needed to be disgusted with myself right now, I had just wanted to murder an innocent human being, I needed to feel repulsed in order to be able to prevent this from happening again. I couldn't have Jasper infiltrating my emotions and making me feel all warm and fuzzy about attempted murder.

"Stop, Jasper." I ordered a little too harshly.

"No, Bella." He defied adamantly. Contrary to his verbal opposal, I felt the warmth and comfort disappear and the raging disappointment in myself returned.

Jasper stared at me intently, frowning at something. Probably the fact that he didn't like what I was feeling and that I didn't want him to change it. He would get over it, I decided.

Since we had began walking, the scent of the human had faded and almost disappeared. What was left now was only a painful memory of what I had almost done.

"Thanks for stopping me, guys." I mumbled ashamedly towards the ground.

"I'm so sorry I didn't see this, Bella." Alice pleaded for forgiveness.

"No, Alice.. Its not your fault. You can't be expected to see everything, and it had to happen sometime." I countered. "I'm just glad I had you guys so close to stop me."

Emmett nodded and Edward shot a weak smile my way.

"That was a lot worse than I expected." I continued. "I understand how easy it is to slip up."

"That's why you wont be able to hunt alone for a while." Rosalie explained.

Edward studied my face as we walked and finally concluded, "You're still hungry."

"No. I'm not. I don't need anything else." I lied. I was thirsty still, and I knew it. The burning in my throat had only been appeased slightly. I didn't want to hunt, though. I wasn't ready to face that voice again yet. I was afraid of the predator within me.

"She's had a rough day, Edward." Rosalie defended me. "We'll go again tomorrow when we get to Alaska."

Thank you, Rosalie, I thought to myself.

"I can run now." I mentioned conversationally as I realized that we were still walking at human pace to allow Emmett and Jasper to restrain me.

They hesitated a moment before releasing me. Edward extended his hand to me and I took it gratefully. After we were running, it didn't take long t get back to the jeep. I remained silent the entire ride home. Edward stroked the back of my hand repeatedly and maintained the silence. Alice animatedly chattered with Rosalie, who listened, but didn't respond, not like she had an opportunity to get a word in edgewise with Alice anyways. I noticed Jasper turn around and shoot a confused and frustrated glance at me every now and then. I made a mental note to ask him what his major malfunction was later, but for now I was determined to maintain my silence and revel on the instincts instilled in my and decide how I was going to silence the voice in my head tomorrow when we hunted.

When we returned to the house, Edward denied Esme any details of the hunt and led me to the bedroom. He shut the door quietly behind us and directed my attention to some clothes that Alice laid out for me on our bed. I was grateful that she didn't pick clothes that were too ostentatious. I walked to the bed to gather them, but stopped short as I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the large window covered wall.

I gasped and whirled away from the glass. My hair was a mess and there were red smudges all over my face.

"Edward," I hissed, "Why didn't you tell me I looked like shit!?" I was so embarrassed.

"It's not abnormal to be slightly unkempt after your first hunt." He shrugged. "But I want you to get fully cleaned up before you officially see the new Bella in a mirror." He decided. "Stay here."

I groaned and sat with my back to the window on the bed. He returned moments later with a hairbrush and a wet washcloth. I held my hand out for them expectantly but he shook his head mischievously. He slid gracefully onto the bed behind me and began running the brush through my hair, gently untangling the knots and smoothing the frizzes. When he was done, he set the brush down beside us and turned my head to face him. He began rubbing smooth circles with the cloth on my face, cleaning off the remains of my hunting experience. If I could have, I would have blushed.

He chuckled lightly and kissed me on the forehead.

"What's so funny?" I grumbled.

"I'm just enjoying the fact that I can still tell when you are embarrassed even without the pleasant coloring in your cheeks."

I scowled at his unfair amusement and crossed my arms in front of my chest.

"Is everything alright, Bella?" He frowned.

"I don't know." I answered honestly.

He frowned and urged me to continue.

"Well… for starters, I'm not so thrilled that I'm pregnant."

He winced.

"I know, Bella. This is so unfair to you."

"But on the other hand…." I mused, "It might not be so bad to be a parent, I guess. And if what Carlisle said is true, and the baby really isn't Jacob's anymore… it wont be so bad, right? And I have you to help me too…" I trailed off and stared at him imploringly.

"Of course, Bella. If that's what you want."

"Why wouldn't that be what I want?" I frowned.

"I'm talking about the baby, Bella." He explained.

"Oh. You mean…" I bit my lip.

He nodded knowingly.

"Edward, I am pregnant and I am your wife. This baby has no genetics that belong to Jacob, so for all I'm concerned, the baby is as much yours as it is mine. That is… if that's alright with you."

"I like that idea." He smiled.

"Good."

We sat in silence for a few more moments and listened to the noises of Esme packing away the house and Rosalie and Emmett playing video games.

"You said that was only 'for starters'," He reminded me, gently pulling me out of my reverie. "What else is bothering you."

"Oh." I thought for a moment, trying to remember what else had been bothering me. "Well, there's two things."

"Go on.." He urged.

"Well… if it was that hard for me to resist human blood today, isn't it going to get really bad when it's growing in my own stomach?"

He laughed lightly, "Bella, you make it sound like a diseased fungi or something."

I shrugged impishly as he continued.

"I honestly think that you will be able to handle it. Today, it didn't take much to convince you to calm down after we told you that it was a human. You will have a while to get used to it, also. Maybe having this baby will help you build up your resistance much faster than the rest of us, who knows? But Bella, I wont let you harm yourself or the baby, if that's what you're worried about."

I nodded.

"Number two?" He pressed.

"Oh, it's nothing, really. Jasper was just acting weird and I was wondering what was with him today." I shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm not sure what's going on with him, but I noticed that too. After you told him to stop tampering with your emotions, he didn't… but he suddenly was incapable of even feeling you anymore, let alone altering your emotions. I think he just lost focus, but it was bothering him a lot." Edward explained.

"Oh," I scrunched my brow in thought, "That's weird, I guess."

"But… before he wasn't able to feel you, he did catch some form of emotion.." Edward continued.

"At least he's not completely broken, then." I misunderstood the direction of his question.

"Yeah, but… it wasn't the emotion I was expecting. Instead of being angry at us, you were scared of yourself… I think. Why, Bella?"

I didn't want to sound crazy. I didn't want to answer this question. He was the one that was supposed to hear voices in his head, not me.

"It's nothing." I lied, hoping desperately that my acting abilities were amplified during the change.

"Liar." He refuted my hopes and stared stubbornly into my eyes for a measureless moment.

"Fine!" I threw my arms up in defeat. Not only was I still not able to act, but I was also still not immune to his dazzling. "I was just creeped out by myself, that's all."

"How so?" Dazzle, dazzle.

I scowled at his unfair use of interrogation methods and unwillingly elaborated. "While I was hunting, there was this darker side of my brain that was… saying things." It sounded absurd enough to think about it, let alone say it out loud. "It was like… the predator in me was telling me exactly what to do and it had no sense of reasoning at all, all it wanted was blood."

He smiled.

"You get used to that after a while. It gets controllable in time. It is possible to teach your instinct to have some reasoning, but it's not easy."

"Oh, so that's normal then?"

"Very."

"Ok, that makes me feel better."

"Now you know what I meant, though, when I told you that there was a monster in me."

"I still wont accept that, but yes, I understand why you would think that." I allowed.

He shook his head and smiled at my stubborn tendencies. I allowed a small smile back and crawled into his arms. I might have been stronger than him, but I still enjoyed feeling like I needed him to protect me and take care of me. We began our final night in Forks by rocking on the bed with his fingers raking gently through my hair as he hummed my lullaby.

My mind wandered to the unborn child growing in my belly and my thoughts were obviously apparent in my expression.

"Everything's going to be alright." He promised, "We can get through this."

"I know that." I breathed. "I can get through anything as long as I have you."

He smiled in response and laid me on the bed gently. Without hesitation, he positioned himself beside me with his fingers entwined in my own as he placed his ear on my stomach and began to hum a different lullaby. The babies lullaby.


	10. Chapter 10

"It was weird, Carlisle. I was like she was blocking me out or something." Jaspers voice was clear as day to me despite the distance and walls between us.

"I don't know, Jasper. Maybe you're just over reacting." Esme's motherly voice tried to comfort her son.

"If it only happened once, Jasper, I doubt that its anything you should worry about. Let me know if it happens again though." Carlisle conversed casually.

"Can you sense her feelings now?"

"Yes, I can. She's… well never mind."

My eyes narrowed.

Edward chuckled from his position on the bed beside me.

"Lust, huh?"

"Shut up." I growled.

"Why are you just laying there, then?" He smiled wickedly. "I can think of so many better things we could be doing right now."

I returned his smile as he rolled over on top of me.

"Sadly, though, we only have about 20 minutes before Esme brings you, or the baby, rather, some human food."

"You better make that 20 minutes good if I'm going to be forced to choke down dirt." I smiled, remembering the conversation I had once had with Edward about him eating human food. It seemed so long ago that we had been sitting at that cafeteria table with all of Fork's High student bodies eyes on us.

"As you wish, Mrs. Cullen." He winked before pressing his lips to my own in another of the deep kisses that were so new to us. I had been waiting for so long to be able to lose myself in a kiss like this. Edward no longer needed to protect me from the teeth and the venom inside of his mouth, and he made no effort to try. We lost ourselves in the sweet refuge of each other's breath and our fingers knotted in each others hair. His body hovered above my own, contouring to every curve perfectly. He slipped one hand between my lower back and the bed and lifted my hips off the bed and pressed them into his own. I smirked at his brave actions and he took the opportunity to capture my lower lip between his teeth.

"Mmmm." I moaned playfully as he began kissing every square inch of my face.

"I can't believe I am married to you," He whispered into my ear, his cold breath tickling my neck as it cascaded down to my collarbone. "I am the luckiest person in the world."

"I think I'm pretty damn lucky to have you too." I gasped.

He smiled my favorite half smile and began rubbing his nose in gentle motions across my jaw line as he continued. "I don't deserve you."

"Even if that is true, which, mind you, it isn't, but even if it was, you are stuck with me now."

"Good. If there was ever a person I would want to spend eternity with, it's you."

With a final brief kiss, he resumed his position next to me on the bed with his head resting casually on my abdomen. "Esme's coming." He cut off my protest.

A short knock on the door sounded.

"Come in, Esme." I called invitingly.

She opened the door slowly and stepped inside. When she noticed our position, Edwards ear pressed gently to the babies heartbeat, she smiled and a new warmth came to her already comforting eyes.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," She started knowingly, "But.."

"I have to eat." I finished her statement with a roll of my eyes.

She smiled wider and nodded. "I'm going to the store today to pick you up some vitamins too. I don't really know if they'll be affective, seeing as you're a vampire and all, but you never know. None of us have any idea how to approach this.. It's a definite first, but eating is one thing that you are going to have to do, that we know." With that, she produced a tray of macaroni and cheese from behind her back and winced apologetically, "Sorry we don't have a big selection. I didn't buy any additional human food after we determined the date for your change because we didn't think… well, this is all we have left now, at any rate. But once we make it to Alaska, we'll buy you some more."

"Yippee." I muttered in a tone that was sarcastic, yet friendly.

"When are we leaving?" Edward spoke without moving.

"In about 12 hours." Esme responded. "Its twilight right now, so we'll leave at sunrise."

At her words I turned to the window. Sure enough, the sun was just vanishing beyond the skyline. I smiled to myself briefly before returning my gaze to Esme.

She moved to the bed and set down the bowl of less than appetizing looking mac' n cheese before giving me a light kiss on the cheek before gracefully exiting. I wondered fleetingly if I walked half as poetically as her before turning my attention to the food sitting beside me.

"Ugh." I moaned. After tasting blood, regular food was no competition anymore. Even so, I knew that the baby needed nutrition as much as I did, I just wished the food needed to supplement the babies life was not so extraordinarily disgusting.

Edward chuckled, amused, from his position at my stomach.

"Shut up." I growled unhappily.

He sat up, still smiling. "This is one vampire experience that I have got to see." He winked.

I scowled and sat up too, pulling the bowl of cheesy noodles onto my lap. I picked up the fork and pushed around the food for a moment before spearing several noodles on the end of it. I lifted it to my face and sniffed it, recoiling immediately from its scent. It didn't hold the same appeal as it once had.

I unwillingly opened my mouth and did the best I could to hold my breath as I chewed and swallowed.

"That's terrible," I complained childishly. "It's not even remotely tasty."

Edward's entire frame shook with the laughter he was trying so hard to conceal. He failed, finally, and let out a booming laugh.

"Hey!" I whined as I threw a light punch at his shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He apologized, still laughing as his hand rubbed the place that I had punched him, "You should have seen your face, though."

"Yeah, yeah." I scowled.

In all honesty, the Macaroni had tasted entirely repulsive. It was worse than when I had been dared to eat dirt. It was dry and crumbly and I was able to pick apart every separate ingredient in my mouth. The previously appealing taste of cheese had completely vanished in this new life I led, and I had a sudden sick feeling. Not so much from the food I had eaten, but more from the dread of knowing that I had to eat like this for the next… how many more months of this did I have to endure?

"How long do I have to keep this up for?" I cringed.

"Well, the baby is at least at 3 months growth right now… isn't that what Carlisle said? Yes. So that means that no more than 6 months."

"No." I groaned as I threw my head back in protest.

"I'm sorry, Bella." His words were sincere and his face was etched with compassion and sympathy.

"No, it's not your fault." I countered.

"It is." He didn't say the words aloud, but I read his lips.

"Edward Anthony Cullen, don't even start that." I scolded.

"Eat your macaroni, Bella." He rolled his eyes.

I fumed over the undeserved guilt that he was shouldering while I forced down the rest of the revolting meal and pushed away the bowl hastily.

"Sickening." I muttered.

He grimaced and swept me into his arms in a movement that seemed comparably slower to what I used to consider it as.

"What!?" I groaned at his expression as he frowned at me in concentration.

"Nothing." His response came too quickly and I crossed my arms stubbornly in front of my chest in an "I'm waiting" fashion.

"Its just…." He faltered. It was unnatural to see Edward at a loss for words and it worried me.

"What?" I repeated.

"How can you not want to kill him?" He whispered.

I inhaled sharply and my eyes fluttered closed as I comprehended what he was so troubled by.

"I'm sorry, Bella." He continued in the same hushed tone. "I didn't mean to.."

"No. Edward, It's ok. This is something that we should be able to talk about." I breathed.

"Emmett said it would be hard for a while. It's ok if you don't want to talk about it, I wont make you.."

"You talked to Emmett?" I felt my eyes widen.

"Rosalie suggested it." He defended.

"I see." I lowered my eyes again.

"Its just that… Bella, I can see how much pain you are in. You try so hard to hide it and you're doing so well. But I can see when my wife is hurting, and Rosalie has enough expertise in this situation that she see's it too. You're in pain, Bella, and I wish so badly that there was something I could do to help you."

"You do help me. Everyday you help me, just by being there." I assured him.

"Obviously not." He countered sullenly, "If I was there for you everyday, this never would have happened."

"Stop it." I ordered.

"It's my fault, Bella. No matter how much you try to convince me, it will always be my fault. What were the words he used? 'He has taken everything from me, I am going to take at least one thing from him?' Bella, the only reason he hurt you was to get back at me… If it weren't for.."

"I said stop." I spoke quietly, but the tone in my voice was enough to render his requested silence.

I sat still for another moment before speaking.

"Edward, I have made a lot of mistakes in my life. I have done a lot of stupid things and in return, I have suffered the consequences. I should never have trusted Jacob. That was my first major mistake. My second mistake was not trusting your judgment of him to begin with. Another mistake is going to the garage that day, but never, Edward, never, will I ever consider you as a mistake. You being in my life was the best decision I ever made and I am so thankful for you, Edward. I will suffer through anything as long as I have you by my side. You are the most important part of my life, and I wish that there was something that I could do to make you realize that this is not your fault. I was stupid, you were right. It was my mistake and I need to take some of the blame. Jacob is at the most fault, but I was the one who didn't believe you when you warned me." He cast his gaze downward and I saw his beautiful eyes tracing the patterns on the quilt.

"And to answer your question," I placed my hand beneath his chin and forced his head up until his eyes met mine again, "Yes, I do want to kill him. As much as I do, though, I don't want to stoop to his level. I wont stop you, though, if he ever comes around here again. I will not go looking for him, but if he approaches me, I may even help you kill him."

He nodded in understanding, but offered no other opposition to what I had said. He simply held me tighter and stroked my hair.

"Alaska?" I finally broke the silence.

He pulled his head back from mine and studied my face quizzically for a moment before I elaborated.

"Esme said we are leaving for Alaska in twelve hours… I thought we were going to an island off the coast.. here in Washington.."

"Oh," He winced, "I forgot to tell you. We're going to go visit the Denali clan for a while and see if Irina can't give us any insight to your pregnancy before we go to our new home. Don't worry, though. It's safe. No humans for miles around their place."

"I'm not worried about what's outside of the house." I mumbled, thinking of Tanya and her crush on my husband.

Edward knew immediately what I was thinking and chuckled.

"I like brunettes, remember?"

"I hope the fact that I am about to gain a lot of weight in the future isn't going to bother you either." I said, half sarcastically.

"Absurd." was his only response.

"Yeah, absurd." I rolled my eyes, "Let's go help Esme pack."


	11. Chapter 11

"You have no reason to worry, you know." Esme promised me knowingly.

I looked up from the box of video games we were packing and gave her a quizzical glance.

"In Denali," She continued without looking up. "You have nothing to worry about, Bella."

"Oh, yeah. I know that, I guess."

"Then why are you worrying?" She pressed.

"I'm…" I battled with the thought of denying it, but I knew it was no use. Esme's motherly instinct was always right on. "I'm not sure."

"Edward had no interest in Tanya then, and he will have even less interest in her now that he's found you." She stated conversationally as she wrapped up an extra controller and tucked it in the box.

I snorted lightly. "But her interest wont have died down."

"No," She allowed, "Tanya isn't one to back down too easily, but just between you and I, I'm pretty sure you could take her."

My chuckle was drowned out by the uproar from Emmett and Rosalie.

"NO!" Emmett groaned loudly.

"Hah! That's it! Best out of 105, I win!" Rosalie sang victoriously.

"Good." Esme sighed as she bustled over to the couch where they were sitting and plucked the controllers out of their hands and began winding them up, "You guys can help pack now."

"Wait, Ma'! Gimme that back! I demand a rematch!" Emmett protested.

"Ohh, no. That was your twenty something or another rematch, Emmett. Rosalie wins. Now pack."

I smiled discreetly at Esme's rare display of motherly authority and continued to place game after game into the bin.

Moments later I felt my husbands hands wrap around my waist and pull me into him. "Garage is all packed, Esme." He announced indifferently before pressing his lips to the hollow beneath my ear. "How did you manage to pry the video games away from the couch potatoes?" He chuckled.

"Skill." Esme replied impishly as she glided gracefully towards the kitchen with another box to pack.

"Need some help?" Edward whispered in my ear after the room was emptied.

"If you don't mind." I allowed as I began unplugging and packing away the multitude of different game consoles beneath the television. He helped me in silence until the box had been packed, labeled, and set near the door. He sat down on the couch and patted the seat beside him suggestively. I willingly folded myself onto the seat beside him and fit my body comfortably into his arms. We sat there for a time before he pressed his head back against the couch in exasperation.

"What?" I frowned.

He didn't respond, but he placed his hand over his eyes in obvious frustration.

"Edward, what's wrong?" I let a note of concern slip into my voice.

"Rosalie." He replied simply.

"What's wrong with Rosalie?" I queried in confusion.

"She's thinking. She tries to avoid thinking about what happened to her… and you, but sometimes she gets carried away and forgets."

"Oh." I bit my lip and winced at the thought of the images passing through my husbands head.

He cringed and squeezed his eyes shut in response to the thoughts he couldn't avoid being subjected to. Simultaneously, his arm tightened around my shoulder, pinning me to his side in a vane effort to protect me from the nightmare that he was witnessing.

"Stop." I whispered as I placed my hands on either side of his face. "Don't let it get to you, please."

His eyes fluttered open and met mine slowly, the visible pain in them being gradually replaced by confusion.

"I… how?" He stammered. "Bella…"

"I know," I misinterpreted, "Just don't let it get to you. Just put it out of your mind, please."

"It's not in my mind any more." He frowned.

"Well, good. Keep focusing on other things." I applauded.

"No, Bella. It's not me… I…"

"What?!" I let an edge of hysteria creep into my voice. Edward was not normally made speechless by anything.

"I think you just blocked Rosalie's thoughts from me, Bella." He breathed in shock.

"What!?" I repeated. "How could I do that!?"

"The same way you must have prevented Jasper from being able to alter or sense your emotions, I suppose." He mused. "Bella, this is great."

"How is this great!?" I rolled my eyes.

"This is your special power, Bella. You must be able to block other peoples gifts at will… and… it worked on me, so you must also be able to block people's gifts from other people too…"

"But, I don't know how it works… It's not like I was doing it on purpose." I pointed out.

"Well none of us know exactly how these things work at first.." He assured me, "But we'll just have to experiment and figure it out."

"Experiment?" I raised my eyebrow as he grinned widely. He seemed genuinely excited about this and I couldn't understand why.

"There's one way to find out for sure." His grin widened further. "Are you willing to go along with me on this?"

"Sure." I submitted. "Just tell me what to do."

"Go touch Alice's car."

"Are you insane!? You know how protective she is of that!" The gift that Edward had purchased for her as payment for holding me hostage was an exact replica of the car we had stolen in Italy and it was her most prized possession. She didn't let anyone near it without her supervision and she surely would not allow…

I shook my head at his plan as I caught on. "That's ridiculous." I smirked.

"But it will work."

"Don't even think about it Bella!" Alice's musical voice sounded from the top of the stairs. "Have Edward get you your own. No joy riding in my baby."

Edward burst out laughing at her predictability and winked at me.

"Sorry, Alice." I called out. "I wont touch it."

"Mhmm." She murmured smugly as she returned to her bedroom.

"Now," Edward whispered into my ear, "Go touch her car, and don't let her see it."

I looked at him quizzically and he nodded and pushed me off of the couch.

I didn't have any urge whatsoever to touch Alice's precious car. I had come to fear the rare wrath of tiny Alice and I didn't quite feel the need to unleash it upon me just to supplement an experiment, but I could never say no to Edward.

"Ugh." I groaned as I rose from the couch. _Don't let Alice see it, Don't let Alice see it._ I thought to myself repeatedly as I soundlessly opened the front door and approached the garage.

_Please don't see this, please don't see this. _I opened the door to the garage slowly and tiptoed inside, half-expecting Alice to attack me at any moment. Her bright yellow car sat proudly in the corner of the garage. I rolled my eyes at the idiocy of the situation as I walked over to it and extended a finger. I hesitated, _Please don't see this_. My cold finger brushed lightly against the yellow, shiny paint, and I cringed. Nothing happened. Alice didn't jump out of no where and attack me, nothing happened.

Frowning, I walked out of the garage to find Edward beaming on the porch.

"Success!" He beamed. "Wait until I tell Alice."

"Don't you dare. I don't have a death wish!" I warned him.

"It was for educational purposes, I'm sure she'll understand."

"No!" I protested, but the words were already out of his mouth.

"Carlisle!" He called.

I groaned in disgust and plopped down on the porch. Edward sat next to me and placed his hand in the small of my back comfortingly.

Carlisle appeared a moment later in the doorway. "Edward, did you call me?"

"Yes, I did." He responded. "I think I've figured out what Bella's gift is."

"Really?" Carlisle seemed intrigued. "What?"

"It would be easier to show you." He flashed a sly grin at me.

"What now!" I groaned.

"Hey Alice!" He called into the house, "How about a game of chess?"

--

"Edward, I hardly find this to be appropriate." Esme complained as we all settled around a game of chess.

"You know what you have to do." Edward spoke to me, ignoring Esme as he sat across from Alice.

"What is going on here," Alice moaned, "I still have so much packing to do, what relevance does Chess have!?"

"Just relax and play the game." Edward directed.

"Fine." She smirked and settled into an even gaze, trying to predict Edward's first move as Edward mirrored her concentration in an attempt to read her moves.

I focused on Alice first. Her smug grin of victory quickly vanished into a frown of confusion and panic.

"Edward, what are you doing?" She accused

"Nothing." He responded slyly as he took a pawn off the board.

Alice visibly relaxed when I stopped focusing on her and Edward threw me a glance of frustration as I focused on him instead.

"How could you miss that!?" Alice scolded as she took Edwards Bishop.

"Bella." He responded simply.

"Oh, please, Edward. She's not _that_ distracting." Alice reprimanded

"No, Alice. Bella's gift is interfering with other peoples gifts."

Alice's eyes widened and she turned her eyes to me, along with the rest of the family.

"Bella?" Carlisle asked, stunned.

"Yeah. I guess that's what I can do." I shrugged.

"Try both of us at once, Bella." Edward bounced a little in his seat. I rolled my eyes at his childlike enthusiasm but turned again to face the chess set. I did my best to focus on both of them, and it worked for the most part. Every now and then I would slip up and one of them would get a small glimpse of what the other was thinking, but overall, the game progressed as if it were being played by two humans.

Ten minutes passed as Alice and Edward actually participated in the game. They uttered an endless stream of profanities at each other as one by one the pieces on the board were taken off until finally Edward beamed.

"Checkmate."


	12. Chapter 12

"Nearly there." Edward assured me as he gave my hand a squeeze.

The entire ride out of Forks I had been staring with unseeing red eyes out the window, wondering idly about silly things. I wondered if I would get jealous when I saw how Tanya looked at my husband. I wondered about the baby and the unnatural pregnancy I had been unfairly subjected to. I wondered what happened to Jacob after he left and I wondered what Edward would do if he ever saw him again. Mostly, though, I wondered if Edward still thought of me as the same Bella, even though my appearance had changed.

My eyes were wider, and red. My body was more pronounced. I had breasts that were noticeable even through the fabric of a t-shirt and my waist and hips fit much better into my jeans. My lips were fuller and even my hair seemed silkier. My eyelashes had visibly grown and my pale translucent skin had turned into a more solid form of the same color. I wasn't nearly as beautiful as Rosalie, but my self esteem didn't take such a magnanimous hit when I was around her anymore.

Edward's ringing phone awakened me from my reverie and it was to his ear before I had turned my gaze to him.

"Hello?…. Hello, Tanya….. No, we will be there in about 5 minutes……. That isn't necessary, Tanya. Bella is no longer human….. Yes, that's right. ….. No, I would really rather not go into detail right now….. Yes, I realize that. There are quite a few things that you aren't quite up to speed on., most of which will become clear when you see us, so just be patient for about 5 minutes….. We have 5 vehicles…… Alright, we'll make sure they are well hidden. Thank you, Tanya. Goodbye."

I said nothing when he hung up, but he turned to me and answered my questions anyhow.

"She doesn't know that we're married."

I gulped. We had not invited them to the wedding. I had insisted on it being as small as possible, and sending an invitation to my fiancé's not-so-secret admirer was not high on my list of priorities at that present time.

"Well this should be fun." I rolled my eyes.

"What do you mean?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Hi, Tanya." I started mockingly, "I'm Bella. Oh, yeah.. I see you've caught the ring on my finger. Yeah, back when I was a human I got married to Edward here. Then my best friend who was a part of the werewolf pack that Irina want's to kill raped me and impregnated me just before Edward changed me into a vampire. So now I'm an unnatural phenomenon who is pregnant with a human child and I am going to stay with you for a while and make things very awkward for you as I cling to my husband desperately so that you can't use you're fancy powers of seduction to lure him away from me. Oh, but wait, I suppose I could always use my gift to just render your powers of seduction completely useless because.. I can do that, you know. Where's my room going to be?" My tone was heavy with a sarcastic… yet not entirely untruthful edge.

Edward's eyes lit up at my mockery and the car weaved slightly as he struggled to calm the waves of booming laughter shaking his every limb.

"I love you, Bella." He chuckled.

"Because I'm amusing?"

"Not just that. You're also very cute when you're nervous or jealous."

"Great. Score one for me." I continued my sarcastic tone.

"Bella, Bella." He scolded lightly as he lifted my hand to his lips. "You don't have to explain anything to her. I will say everything that needs to be said, and I will do it in a way that makes very clear who I love. But… can I ask one favor of you?"

"Sure." I allowed.

"Can you block her thoughts from my head please. My least favorite part of seeing the Denali clan is having to constantly ignore the visions of Tanya and myself participating in all of her superficial and ridiculous fantasies."

"Gladly." I agreed, finally happy to have found some relevant use for my "power".

Carlisle's car came into view ahead of us as he slowed to turn into a discreet driveway. We followed in Edward's Volvo with Rosalie in her car, Jasper and Alice in her car, and Emmett in his jeep close behind. My truck had been left at Jacob's house when Seth and Sam had brought me home. I told Charlie that that was where I left it, and he offered to pick it up and leave it at the house in case I ever needed it. I had a feeling that I would never have a need for it, but I was no Alice.

A large shed had been hidden in the woods at a convenient distance from the house. We stored our vehicles and took what luggage we needed before setting off at a decently fast pace towards the house. I had no idea what to expect, being as I had never met any of the Denali clan before, let alone been to their home. It wasn't quite as spectacular as I had expected it to be. It was nothing, compared to the Cullen's home in Forks. Outwardly, it had the appearance of a simple log cabin. Two stories tall with thick foliage concealing it. If it weren't for the windows, it would have blended in completely with its surroundings.

I realized that the concealment of the household must be to prevent human's from wandering into the vicinity of potentially hungry vampires. Even if they abstained from human blood most of the time, it was still probably much more safe for the family to stay as hidden as possible.

"Welcome, Carlisle!" an unfamiliar but beautiful face greeted. Her arm was linked with another male. Both looked like they had strong Latin roots, though, and they both looked fairly friendly.

"Carmen, Eleazar! It's been too long!" Carlisle beamed as he shook their hands in a warm greeting. "Where's Tanya, Kate, and Irina?" Esme queried sweetly as she accepted their greetings next.

"They're off hunting right now. They'll be back relatively soon, though. They didn't go far." Carmen promised before turning to the rest of the family to offer her welcome.

"Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Edward, and you must be Bella." She recognized as her eyes fell upon me. "I've heard so much about you, it's a pleasure to finally meet you." She grinned as she extended a hand. I offered her my hand that was not being held firmly by Edward and I noticed her smile fall as she caught the ring on my finger. She shared a brief glance of panic with Eleazar as Edwards grip on my hand tightened.

"It's nice to meet you, Bella." Eleazar repeated as he took his turn shaking my hand. "It seems that we have a lot to catch up on, let's get you all inside and settled and we can talk in the den while we wait for the girls to get back." He suggested.

The house was much larger inside. Edward led me to a staircase which descended into a full basement where he explained that the guest bedrooms were located.

There were only three extra beds set up in the two rooms downstairs, which proposed a slight problem. On a normal basis, Rosalie and Emmett would have shared a bedroom with Alice and Jasper, and Carlisle and Esme would have taken the other room while Edward crashed on the couch in the downstairs den. Now that Edward had a significant other, the original plans were questioned.

"I'll be fine on the floor." I offered stubbornly. "I'm not going to be a hassle if I can help it." Edward had explained to me how the Denali clan scheduled their routines in order to feel less abnormal and more human. There was a period of time every night where they retired to the privacy of their own rooms and relaxed as indivisuals or couples.

"No, Bella. There's room on the couch for both of us." Edward winked.

"Are you sure?" Esme frowned. "Carlisle and I can put our things somewhere else if you want the bed." She offered. I knew that her adamancy in making me comfortable was due mainly to the fact that I was pregnant, but I didn't find any reason to let that become a handicap this early in the pregnancy.

"No, Esme, I'll be fine. Really." I insisted. "Let's stop worrying about this and go upstairs." I had a feeling that Carmen and Eleazar had a lot to ask about me in particular to prepare themselves for when Tanya returned.

Edward's half smile fell into a frown as he considered how to deal with the pending conversation.

"Let me handle it, Edward. Don't worry about it." Carlisle reassured him.

Edward just nodded and placed his hand around my waist as we walked as a group upstairs.

Eleazar and Carmen beckoned us into the living room and we all sat around a large coffee table.

I tried very hard not to pay attention to the next twenty minutes worth of conversation as Carlisle began his update on the Cullen's life with Edward marrying me and then progressed to Jacob raping me, a conversation that regrettably couldn't be avoided due to the pregnancy that was to be discussed later. Edward distracted me as best as he could by tracing words into the back of my hand with his thumb, but distractions could only do so much when Tanya returned.

She was a blonde in every applicable aspect of the word. She had bright yellow hair and dark gold, almond shaped eyes to match. She flashed a full set of brilliant white teeth at the sight of Edward and came bouncing over to sweep him into a big hug, completely ignorant of my presence beside him. She didn't even give anyone else in the room a second glance and the reasoning was clear as lust rolled off of her in nearly tangible waves.

"Edward, I've missed you!" She sang. Her voice containing just as much seductive power as every other move that she made.

"Hi, Tanya." Edward greeted her as naturally as he could with a one armed hug as his other hand remained firmly entwined in my own. The awkward stance caught her attention and she followed his unavailable limb with her eyes until she recognized who I must be with no trouble. After she took a fleeting glance at my face, her eyes zeroed in on the ring on my finger and then flicked to band on Edward's hand.

"This must be Bella." Her deceitfully accepting and friendly voice was dripping with distaste and loathing as she scanned over my features and came to terms with the fact that I was not the plain, unimpressive human she had expected. That fact alone, coupled with the ring on my finger, would definitely put an obstacle in the way of whatever goal she had expected to achieve on this visit from the Cullen's.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." She extended a lithe hand to take mine and shake it. Her grip on my hand was such that I concocted two plausible motives. She either wanted to break my hand clear off my arm, or powderize the ring that had shot down her hopes and dreams with it's very presence.

"Hi." I offered simply.

Kate and Irina broke the awkward tension by announcing their own arrival in a much more conventional manner. They swept about the room kissing the rest of the Cullens on the cheek and murmuring their hellos.

"So nice of you to come for a visit." Kate smiled genuinely as she hugged Carlisle.

"Well, as I was just explaining to Carmen and Eleazer, Katrina… I'm afraid that I haven't been entirely up front about the reason behind our visit. You see… we were hoping that you may be able to help us."

"Oh?" She raised her eyebrows in surprise. I understood. Surely any reason for Carlisle to ask for help from someone else must mean something serious. "Of course. I will do whatever I can, Carlisle. What is it that you need?"

"It's not exactly me… it's Bella." Tanya's eyes narrowed as she realized that our reason for being here was because I needed help. "Actually… the entire family is at a loss here."

"What is it, Carlisle?" Kate pressed. "How can I help?"

"Well, there really isn't an easy way to say this…" Carlisle began, "But I think we may have a need for your medical experience."

Kate's frown was completely justified. Here was Carlisle, one of the most prestigious and experienced doctors in the world asking for her advice and assistance when she had only dabbled in OB/GYN for 100 or so years.

"Carlisle, wha-"

"Bella's pregnant."

The room fell silent. Carlisle hadn't gotten to that part yet with Carmen and Eleazar, so this was the first time he had mentioned it to them.

"What!?" She gasped, "How?"

I noted out of the corner of my eye that Tanya's eyes brightened a little at that. Her mind must have resorted to the thought of me cheating on Edward with a human or something like that. If she hadn't been so desperate to have a reason to view the situation negatively, she might have thought through the impossibilities of that scenario.

"She was raped…" I closed my eyes and Edward squeezed my hand as Carlisle hesitated, "…by a werewolf."

"WHAT!?" The shrill cries of shock rang out around the room followed by a buzz of disbelieving murmurs.

"Bella," Edward whispered and I opened my eyes to look up at him. I realized as I witnessed the pained contortions of his face what every mind in the room was picturing. Relieved to have something else to focus on, I began trying my best to protect Edward's mind. I found after a few moments of failing, that it was easier if I decided what I did want him to focus on rather than trying to block out that many thoughts at a time. I made him focus on me, even though I knew he couldn't hear my thoughts. I knew it was working the second he opened his eyes and looked at me.

We both tuned out the rest of the world as the room erupted into chaos around us. We stood together, wrapped in the safety of my own mind in one of the most stressful environments in the world.

After Kate had agreed multiple times to help me, Carlisle made plans to take a trip to require the proper medical equipment for Kate to use to help her understand what would need to be done with my pregnancy. Carlisle would allow no information as to how he would be attaining this equipment, but something told me it wouldn't be hard for him.

I was unaware of how much time had passed when Tanya resurrected me from the shield of my mind with the worst request she could have mustered:

"Edward, can I please have a word with you?"


	13. Chapter 13

"Edward, can I please have a word with you?" Her words caused a random hush to fall over the entire room. All eyes turned to Edward expectantly, waiting to gauge his response. His hand tightened its grip on mine as he replied. "Certainly."She began walking out of the room but stopped short as she threw a glance over her shoulder to see that Edward was dragging me along beside him. "Um, I was actually hoping I could talk to you alone." She said sweetly. "I'm sorry, Tanya. But anything you have to say to me can be said in front of my wife. We're kind of a package deal now, I'm sure you understand." Edward returned the sweet tone in his voice and shrugged absently as if to imply that she was absurd to expect anything other than that. She obviously had been expecting something other than that. "Oh." She replied, the hurt seeping into her confident voice. She studied Edward's face for a long moment before frowning in disappointment. I realized with a start that she had been trying to ask him a question or direct some form of statement to him through the use of her mind. My mind block must still be working, even though I wasn't focusing so thoroughly on it now. Edward, noticing the same thing that I had noticed, quickly and subtly explained. "Carlisle." He addressed, turning back to face the rest of the group assembled in the living room, "Did you tell them about Bella's gift?" "Oh!" He exclaimed, "No, I forgot to mention that. "You've already discovered her gift?" Irina gawked, incredulous. "Normally that's not discovered until at least a few years after the change happens." "Yeah, usually." I muttered. "There isn't too much that's routine about me though."

I heard Tanya scoff behind me and Edward shot her a dark glare.

"Well what is it?" Eleazar pressed, the excitement in his voice reminded me of Edward's reaction to the discovery of my talent.

As Carlisle took the initiative to explain in detail my unique gift, I searched my human memories to remind myself what talents each of the Denali clan had.

About three months ago, was it really that short of a time since I was an unmarried human? - three months ago Edward and I had been laying in my bed as per usual night time routine and I was asking him the never ending stream of questions that were constantly formulating in my mind. It's amazing how much I could learn about someone who had been alive for over 100 years. We had talked about the Denali clan before this particular instance, but never in real depth. I remembered vaguely what each and every one of their gifts were. Eleazar's was very similar to Edwards in the way that he could read people's minds. His views of the minds inner workings were not quite as in tune as Edwards. He could only read other's minds if he was in a very close proximity to them. Sometimes only within 5 to 10 feet, Edward had explained. Carmen's talents were not entirely clear to any of the Cullen's because her and Eleazar were the newest additions to their friends family, but Edward was able to provide that her talent was something along the lines of being able to persuade and alter peoples opinions with her charisma. The other three, Tanya, Kate, and Irina were what was called a succubus. At my confused expression, Edward had then explained that a succubus was, in the mythical world of course, someone who could seduce and draw attention from any member of the opposite, or even if they wanted, the same sex. At this point, Edward had elaborated to explain that Tanya's irrational obsession with acquiring his affections was due in part to the fact that she was not used to being rejected. As a succubus, Tanya had always gotten every ounce of attention that she wanted and when Edward's depression allowed him to see past her seduction and remain mostly immune to her powers, it just fueled her determination further. There was a very strong likelihood that she had no interest in Edward whatsoever, which, after looking at Edward, I could imagine how that could be possible, but she desired him mainly for her own dignity. She couldn't take being turned down and above all, the fact that he had denied her lust for that of a mere, unimpressive human surely fueled her determination further.

"That explains why I can't read her mind." Eleazar's voice shook me from my nostalgia.

I jumped slightly when I realized his proximity to me. He must have edged closer to be able to test my ability while Carlisle was explaining.

"Edward," Carmen addressed him while staring intently at me, "Why don't you go talk to Tanya, alone, sweetheart. She really doesn't get to see you that often and-"

I could tell immediately what she was doing. She was also testing out her powers on me. She knew that I didn't want my husband to go talk to Tanya and I would take action. She was right. I snapped my head around to look at Edward's contemplative eyes and I thought very firmly to myself, _no, he most certainly will not._

"No thank you." He smiled politely at Carmen and Tanya let out another angry hiss behind him.

"So this means that she is immune to all of our talents, and she can extend her protection..er.. Immunity, whatever you would like to call it.. To all of us at her will?" Eleazar summed up, stunned.

"That's what we have deduced thus far." Carlisle confirmed.

Eleazar shot a knowing glance at Tanya as her face fell into a crumpled display of defeat. She couldn't even seduce my husband away from me any more, she must have been devastated.

"Bella," Alice spoke for the first time since our arrival, "You need to hunt, sweetheart."

"I'm fine." I protested, knowing full well that I needed desperately to hunt again, but being the coward that I was, I was afraid to hear that demonic voice in my head.

"Bella, she's right. You do need to hunt." Edward insisted. I made the mistake of meeting his eyes and was immediately blown away by his power to dazzle me. I made a mental note to test my gift of resistance on his dazzling trick to see if it would work the same.

"Fine." I sighed.

"Pft, you agree to him." Alice grumbled from across the room, crossing her arms in mock aggravation.

"I'll come with you." Tanya offered, shooting Edward a brilliant smile, meant in her own dazzling way.

"You already hunted." Edward pointed out.

"Besides, I haven't had the chance to catch up with you girls yet," Carlisle threw in his assist.

"Kate and Irina can stay. I'll go and make sure that they know where they're hunting grounds are and su-"

"Tanya, we have hunted in the area plenty of times. I'm sure we can handle ourselves." Rosalie interrupted.

Apparent defeat washed over her features and her shoulders slumped a little as she sank into the sofa opposite Carlisle.

"Be safe, you guys." Esme called as we headed for the door, which, roughly translated would be something like "Keep Bella safe or I'll kill you." I felt like such a pest, needing to be babysat all the time like this.

"Whoa." Emmett mused as soon as we were out of earshot of the house, "She is ridiculous!"

"I agree." Jasper grimaced, "I haven't felt such jealousy and disbelief in years."

"Thank you for blocking her from me, Bella." Edward breathed into my ear.

I didn't respond, I simply grabbed his hand in mine, the rest following suit, and began running faster through the tree's.

The first scent we came upon was grizzly. Remembering Emmett's preference and ignoring my thirst as much as possible, Edward and I nodded our go-ahead in his direction and he sped off with Rosalie in the direction of their prey. Alice and Jasper stayed near, but caught the scent of three deer a moment later and veered away from our path momentarily.

_Go, hunt, kill, faster!_ The voice in my head shouted.

"Shuttup!" I growled.

"Bella?" Edward looked down at me in concern.

"Oops, sorry." I winced sheepishly.

The next scent that hit my nose was unfamiliar. It was strong, and very appealing, but I couldn't tell immediately what it was. I looked up at Edward again, who was scrutinizing me carefully.

"Wolf." He stated simply.

"Oh," I bit my lip, tracing the mark that my own teeth had cut into it on Jacob's garage floor just a little over a week ago.

_Bastard. Kill it, it doesn't deserve to live, just like him. _The voice snarled viciously.

Suddenly, I was alive with a rage and a temper that I didn't know I had in me. I tore my hand out of Edward's, leaving him shocked and open mouthed in my wake as I tore off through the tree's at a speed that he could not match. It didn't take me long to find the huge wolf. It was grey and vicious and did its best to fend off its unexpected predator but to no avail. My fury drove me into a fit of untamed ferocity and with a whimper of defeat the wolf immediately dropped beneath me. I wasted no time in draining it of its blood, and even as I finished, Edward still had not shown up. I pushed myself away from the dead wolf and sat looking at it in patient curiosity for a moment. As my eyes traveled over it's broad, previously muscular shoulders, I had a sudden memory of myself yelping in anticipated pain as the wolf Jacob leapt towards me to finish me off. Anger resumed its territory within me and it wasn't until moments later when Edward was restraining my flying fists at much risk to his own wellbeing that I knew what I was doing.

"Bella, Bella, stop." He whispered, pulling me into his chest.

A low sob escaped me and he scooped me up and began walking. I snuggled into his arms, reveling in how much softer they were now that I was as hard skinned as he. It was nice to let Edward care for me like this again.

"It's ok, Bella. Relax." He cooed into my ear. I calmed down quickly enough, but I was still thirsty. A fact that he did not miss.

"There's a herd of deer 1 mile east. I'll hunt with you." He promised.

I nodded, and wiggled out of his arms until my feet were planted firmly on the ground before we began running again. His grip on my hand seemed tighter this time and I noticed that his eyes never seemed to leave me even as we were dodging through the trees at top speeds.

_No, not deer, wolf!_ the voice protested. I felt a pang of guilt as a realized that wolves to me would likely now be the equivalent of what mountain lions were to Edward. I ignored the voice as Edward and I drank our fill of deer. I allowed my body to go numb and my mind to, for the most part, shut down as I stole the lives of more innocent animals. It was much easier to hunt, I found, if I pretended that I didn't have any morals.

Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett joined us moments later in the clearing where the unexpecting herd of 5 deer had been grazing a short time prior.

"Ready?" Alice grinned. I noticed Jasper's expression beside her as he regarded me. He frowned in concentration as he, no doubt, tried to decipher why my emotions were plagued with such anger and fear. His expression turned quickly to a disproving frown as I blocked him from me.

"Yes, we're ready." Edward confirmed.

As we sped back through the woods, I noticed that at the present moment my thirst was the most manageable as I had ever experienced. It would be much easier to refrain from a human in this condition than when I was more thirsty. I made a mental note as we neared the house to make sure that I hunted regularly in the months to come to distract myself as much as possible from the human blood generating within me.

"Bella, can I talk to you for a moment?" Jasper shook me from my thoughts with a cautious hand on my shoulder. I knew exactly what he wanted to talk about, and I didn't care to discuss it, but I didn't want to be rude so I agreed. Edward also knew what Jasper wanted to talk about, likely in more depth than what I could imagine, and before I left his side he pulled me tightly to whisper two things in my ear. The first was about how Jasper loves me and just wanted to help and that I should talk to him and the second was a muddled plea to focus on protecting him from Tanya's thoughts while I was away. I nodded my agreement to both before taking position next to Jasper as we walked away from the house. We walked in silence for a time before we came to a ledge that looked down upon vast stretches of breathtaking scenery. The tree's rolled out before us for miles and miles before thinning out to snow capped mountains in the distance. Jasper sat on the ledge with his legs dangling and I followed suit to sit next to him.

"Bella." He addressed me.

"I'm sorry I keep blocking you, Jasper." I apologized before he could mention it.

"It's not that you're blocking me, sweetie, it's what I'm feeling before you block me. I have never felt someone in more emotional turmoil than you are and it's kind of freaking me out."

I closed my eyes and winced at the sudden guilt creeping through me.

"Don't feel guilty, Bella. That's not why I wanted to talk to you." He assured me while gathering my hand in his. "But you are my sister and I love you and I can't stand to see you like this."

My dead heart fluttered a bit at that. How on earth could I deserve to have a family as amazing as this looking out for me?

"Thanks, Jasper." I whispered.

"Tell me what I can do to help." He pleaded.

"You're helping me as much as I could ever hope for right now." I promised him.

"I just wanted you to know that you can talk to me." He continued, "But I'm sure you would rather talk to Edward about it. Which brings up another point, why haven't you been talking to him? He was so concerned when we left the woods today but he is so scared to say anything to you. He doesn't want to push you too far, and it's killing him. He wants you to feel like you can talk to him."

"I don't want to worry him." I whispered.

"You worry him more by not talking to him. You worry us all when you keep everything in like this, especially me."

"I'm sorry. I guess I just don't know how to talk about it without making other people uncomfortable."

"You shouldn't be concerned about that." He corrected. "So if you want to talk to someone, I'm here. Right now. You wont make me uncomfortable, I promise. But if you don't want to talk to me, I understand."

"No, Jasper. I have no objection to talking to you." I assured him. "But what exactly do you want me to talk about."

"Well, today, I would like to know why you were so angry and afraid back there." He gestured with his head toward the direction we hunted.

"Oh." I toyed mindlessly with a rock on the side of the ledge before flicking it down the edge of the cliff. "I hunted a wolf."

"Oh." Jasper understood immediately.

"Edward was probably really freaked out when you found us because after I.. ate.. I looked at the wolf and it reminded me of Jacob and I got angry and started misplacing my emotions and beating the shit out of it. Edward had to pull me off of it, I think."

"Oh." He responded. "So you're angry at Jacob, then."

"Quite a substantial amount."

"Is it because he raped you, or because you're pregnant?"

I thought for a moment before responding. "Both, but mostly the first one. I'm just so sick of being different, of being the freak. I just want to fit in. And then, after Jacob…" I trailed off, waving my hand to signify the words that I didn't want to say, "..and now I'm pregnant… which is an anomaly in itself, and I just want to fit in."

"Do you not want to be pregnant?" Jasper asked. The way he was going about this conversation was like a much more comforting version of a therapist repeating "and how do you feel about that?" constantly.

"I've always wanted kids." I admitted, "But I had given that up for Edward because I knew that it was not possible. But now, it's happening and it's going to bring up so many problems. I'm not ready to be a mother, first off. And… how screwed up is this poor kid going to be being raised by a mother that constantly wants to kill it… I just don't understand how I am going to be able to be around it for the first couple years of it's life when I am going to be such a danger. This is going to be such an inconvenience for all of you…"

"Bella, you're wrong." Jasper shook his head. His firm dismissal of my concerns completely erased the image of him being a therapist from my mind. "First of all, you are going to be a great mother, and second, this will not be an inconvenience to any of us. Do you have any idea how excited Rosalie and Esme are to have a baby in the family. They're both a bit jealous, too, but they're so excited. Of course, they wouldn't let on to you because they are afraid that you would be offended that they are so excited about what happened to you, but of course that isn't the case. I tried to explain that to them, but you know.."

He carried on like that for a few more minutes, his animated talking reminding me of a young, excitable teenage girl and I wondered shiftlessly if he hadn't been spending too much time with Alice.

Sometime among his repetitive chatter, an idea struck me.

"Jasper, can I ask you a question." I interrupted his thought.

"Yes."

"Well, when I have this baby, it's not going to be easy for me to be around it for a year or so for long periods of time.. I will probably have to leave it." He opened his mouth to protest and point out some way around that, but I had already cut him off and continued. "What if… what if I let Esme and Rose raise it for the first couple of years. It would be safer with them and they would finally get to have a baby…." At this point I was talking more to myself than him, "So, what if I just give the baby to them when it's born, come back and visit when I think I can handle it, and move away for a year or so with Edward…"

I looked up from my thoughts to see a very astonished looking Jasper.

"What? Is that a bad idea?" I frowned.

"Bella, that would be the nicest thing… but how can you possibly…"

"It would be what's best for the baby." I said quietly.

Before I knew it, Jasper had swept me into a tight hug. "Bella, you are a phenomenal woman, do you know that?"

I hugged him back for a moment, happy to have been able to talk to him like this. "Thanks for talking to me." I said quietly.

"Anytime, Bella. Just do me a favor and please don't mention this to either of them until you've talked to Edward about it, just in case."

"I wont. I'll go talk to him right now, though." I promised.

We set off, then, towards the house. We didn't make it though, a bubbly Alice intercepted us at the steps and caught me in a huge hug and spun me In circles. "Bella, you are amazing! Do you have any idea how happy they're going to be when you tell them!?"

"Alice, shhhh" I scolded. "Don't say anything to anyone."

"I wont." She promised with a sparkle in her eye.

"Tell anyone what?" Edward grinned as he stepped out onto the porch. I immediately focused on hiding the information in Alice and Jasper's heads from him and he shot me a confused glance as he realized what I was doing.

"Edward, will you take a walk with me?" I requested.

"Yes." He replied, still regarding me with a confused expression. He took my outstretched hand and threw a puzzled glance over his shoulder before following me back to the same cliff that I had sat with Jasper on.

"Did you have a nice talk with Jasper?" he asked as we sat down together.

"Yes."

Silence.

"Bella?" He pressed.

"Yeah?"

"What are you thinking about?"

I was suddenly very afraid of what he would think. We already had determined that this baby was as much his as it was mine essentially. How would he respond to leaving it for the first year or so of its life?

"I was thinking about the baby." I admitted.

"What about the baby?" He encouraged.

"When it's born, I wont be able to be around it a lot, will I?"

"I've been thinking about that a lot too, Bella. We'll find a way."

"Well, that's more or less what I was thinking about. I have an idea." I grimaced

"Go on."

"If you don't want to do this, it's fine. It was just an idea, but it is as much your decision as it is mine." He nodded and I continued warily, "What if…" I suddenly stopped, realizing how absurd it was for me to expect Edward to give up raising his child like that. I would have to leave, alone. He could raise it.

"Bella?" He asked.

"Never mind." I sighed. "It wouldn't be fair to you."

"Isabella Marie Cullen," he scolded, "The only thing that's not fair is you teasing me with your thoughts like that. Tell me, please." I looked into his eyes for a moment before giving in, like I knew I would.

"I was just considering the possibility of letting Rose and Esme raise the baby while I was… elsewhere focusing on getting my resistance better. They've both always wanted a baby, and I was just… I don't know. It was silly of me to expect you to-"

"That's a great idea."

I looked up at him in shock. "Really?"

"Yes. You and I could move out for a while and let them raise the baby until you were strong enough to return to it. That would make them so happy, Bella. But are you sure that is alright with you?"

"It would be safer for the baby." I murmured, repeating the defense I had given Jasper earlier.

"Then if that's what you want, it's what I want too." He smiled. "The question is, should we tell them now, or wait until closer to the birth."

I grinned to myself as I imagined their joy at getting the chance to use their maternal instincts for their true purposes. "Now."

* * *

A/N -

My fiction now has a myspace.

/twiction

add it.

&, while you're down here reading the bottom of the screen, click the button that says review.

please?

ily.


	14. Chapter 14

"Rose, Esme, can I please talk to you for a minute?" My voice cracked as I spoke, giving away my nerves.

Rosalie and Esme shared a concerned glance before joining me on the couch.

"Of course, Bella. What is it?" Esme asked.

Edward settled beside me and pulled me easily into his lap before wrapping his arms around me and giving me an encouraging smile.

"Edward and I are leaving."

Edward shook his head in wonder as Rosalie and Esme erupted in shouts of protest and denial. I thought it would be interesting to freak them out a little before breaking the news.

"No, Bella, absolutely not!?" Rosalie shot. "Edward, why would you agree to this?"

"Let Bella finish, please, Rosalie." Edward replied.

"We're not leaving right now, but when the baby comes…"

"How does that have anything to do with leaving at all.." Esme frowned.

"I have to ask you guys something. Remember that you have the right to say no if you want. But, when I have the baby, I will be far too attracted to it's blood to be able to stand being around it for too long. I wont be able to care for it without wanting to kill it and I don't want my baby to be in that much danger. When the baby is born, I will have to stay away from it until I am able to resist the smell of its blood. I thought that maybe… because you guys never got your chance to have a baby… maybe you two could care for it, and mother it while Edward and I are gone. I realize that it's a big inconvenience, and you can say no if you want to. We can figure something else out, but I just thought…"

I finally looked up and met their stares. Esme looked like if she could have produced tears, she would have and Rosalie's jaw looked unhinged as she stared at me with wide eyes.

I waited until one of them said something, not knowing what else there was to say.

"Bella, are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure, Esme. I have thought about this, and it's what would be best for the baby, and it would be really great, I think, if you guys got your chance to be mothers. You'll be great at it."

"But what about you? You deserve to be a mother too.."

I shook my head and explained further, "When I asked Edward to change me, I forfeited my opportunity to be a mother and I had accepted it. I don't think I'm ready anyways, and I want the baby to be safe. For at least the first half of a year of it's life I think it would be best if you two were the primary care givers.. And even after that, when I am able to return, I would like it if you guys would have as much a part in this babies life as me."

"Bella, I don't know what to say…" Esme gushed, reaching out to take my hand. "I thought that when you came into Edwards life that no gift could ever render a higher amount of gratitude, but this parallels it easily."

Esme was clearly thrilled, but I still hadn't been able to figure out what Rosalie's reaction was. She still sat opposite me with her jaw hanging open and her eyes wide in surprise. Edward surveyed the situation carefully before taking the proper action.

"Mom, can we go talk to Carlisle about this now and see what he thinks.."

"Yes, yes of course. We'll send Emmett in to get the good news too." She rose and held out her arms to me. I fell into them willingly and let her stroke my hair for a moment as she whispered her thanks and love into my ear before exiting with Edward. As Edward left my side, I resumed a small portion of my mind's focus on protecting him from Tanya before turning back to Rosalie.

Her mouth was closed now and she was staring at me with the same unshielded shock.

"Rose?" I queried cautiously. "Rosalie, talk to me, please."

She opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. It took a few more moments of deep breathing before she managed to produce any comprehensible speech.

"Bella, how can you be so sure of this?"

"Because, Rosalie. I want what's best for the baby, and I think that what's best is that they have people like you and Esme and Emmett and Carlisle to care for them and protect them when I am unable to do so. With you they would be well taken care of and protected whereas I can only provide the opposite until I am able to resist blood."

"I don't understand, Bella. How can you not want to be there…"

"I do, Rose. I wish I could be there, but I am not willing to place my baby in that much danger, and I know that the main reason you are so unhappy with being… what we are, is because the opportunity to be a mother was unfairly taken from you and I_ know_ that you will be a great mother and you should be able to have that chance, and maybe this way you will have the chance to be truly happy instead of just putting on a good face all the time."

She looked down then, biting her lip. She broke the momentary silence with a violent sigh - "Is it that obvious that I am unhappy?"

"No, I'm just very observant. I think Jasper and Edward are the only ones who could know for sure, but I figured it out. I know that it isn't because you don't love Emmett, and I think… I hope that this will help you be happier."

Rosalie searched my face with her golden eyes for another moment before standing and closing the distance between us in two graceful strides. I stood to embrace her as she fell into my arms, sobbing.

"Thank you, Bella. Thank you so much. This means the world to me." She breathed between heavy exhales. "You are the best sister in the world."

Before I could respond, Emmett walked in.

"I was told that little sis' has some news for-" He trailed off as he viewed our embrace. "Uh, sorry… should I.."

"No, you're fine. Rosalie has something to tell you." I smiled and gave her shoulder a squeeze. As much as I would have liked to see Emmett's reaction, I felt that it was important for Rosalie to share this moment with Emmett alone. I turned to leave, but Rosalie caught my hand, forcing me to turn back to her.

"Thank you so much, Bella."

I smiled again, "Thank you, Rosalie. It makes me feel much better, this way."

I left the room as Emmett crossed to Rosalie's side, bumping his knuckles on mine as he passed. I was greeted in the hallway by another tight embrace by Carlisle.

"Bella, how on earth has this family ever deserved you?" He whispered in my ear before Esme wormed her way into the hug.

"Was she happy?" She asked.

"Yes, I think she is." I replied honestly.

Alice was there next. She grabbed my hands in hers and smiled brightly, "Can I make an offer?"

"Sure." I allowed. Curious to hear what offer she could make to me at this moment.

"Don't move out alone."

"What?" I gasped.

"Jasper and I will come with you. It's not safe for you to expect Edward alone to be able to restrain a newborn from the scent of human blood and I want to be able to help. Besides, the baby will be safer without Jasper around. This was his idea, you know. He's afraid of hurting it… and you know kids, they fall down a lot. Too much to worry about, ya know?" She was obviously excited about this and all of my arguments had been countered with her one statement.

"I think that would be a good idea." Three voices, none of which belonging to me, sounded from around the room. I whirled to see Edward leaning against the stair banister and upon making eye contact, he crossed the distance between us and settled himself behind me with his hands around my waist. Esme and Carlisle were the other two voices that had spoken, and I understood their reasoning. It was more ethical and safer for Jasper and Alice to come with me. They could be a big help.

"Thanks, Alice." I accepted her proposal with another brief hug. It only lasted a split second before we were torn apart by the loud bang of a door opening. Emmett flew into the room, frantically searching through it's occupants with his eyes before they settled on me.

"Bella!" He yelled gleefully as he lifted me and threw me into the air gently. When he caught me, he began spinning me in circles, hugging me tightly to his chest as he whispered some half incomprehensible words in my ear.

"Bella, do you have any idea how happy you've made… How can I ever repay you…. You are an amazing person, Bella…. I'm so proud to be able to call you my sister.."

After his stream of praises had run its course, he set me firmly back on the ground and breathed his final word of "Thanks" as he kissed me on the cheek and hurried back through the door to Rosalie's side.

In the weeks that followed, I had never seen Rosalie so happy. She was glowing in every applicable sense of the term. Granted, she couldn't have the blood color her cheeks, but the long lost genuine grin that I had only witnessed on rare occasions was occupying her face almost constantly. She couldn't seem to pass Edward or I without hugging us or kissing us on the cheek or reminding us in some way how phenomenal we were. Esme was similar. She reacted much calmer to the situation, but she had her ways of reacting as intensely as Rosalie through different actions. If she hadn't already been monitoring my every move as it was, she now went on overdrive. Not a day passed where I wasn't forced to eat three well balanced meals for the baby and choke down glass after glass of water and vitamins.

The Cullens were being more than hospitable to my every need, but the prior occupants of the house were a whole different story. Carmen and Eleazar were kind enough to me, but I could tell that the effect of my presence had some minor negative points to it too. Kate had always been perfectly kind to me, and often she would spend hours asking me questions. She was baffled by my pregnancy and found it entirely interesting. She couldn't wait for Carlisle to get his hands on some medical supplies so that she could do more extensive research. Both she, and Carlisle wanted desperately to have the chance to study all of the medical inconsistencies and impossibilities that my condition had been inflicted under. Irina and Tanya stuck together and were a solid force against me. I'm sure if it wouldn't have been viewed as immature they would have picketed with anti-Bella signs. Tanya never missed an opportunity to catch Edward alone, but sadly for her, I was on top of my game. Constantly protecting his mind from her charm, as per his request.

Though he was never subjected to her charm, she did manage to subject him to a number of speeches that she had prepared. He relayed many of these to me without editing, as per _my_ request. Often times she would base her arguments around the simple fact that I didn't deserve him. Occasionally she would throw in the point of me being a danger to the household and being the source of the most trouble, but Edward always ignored her. He would simply listen patiently and then respond - " I'm sorry, Tanya. But I love Bella, not you. She is the world to me and this family will do anything for her."

My belly was beginning to grow, though a barely noticeable amount to the human eye, nothing got past the eyes of a vampire. During the night time hours when the family retired to their separate rooms for private time, Edward would situate himself beneath me with his hands resting lightly on my stomach, feeling the beating of the heart.

"Do you think it will be a boy or a girl?" He asked casually on one occasion.

"I don't know, and I don't really care. As long as it's healthy." I replied honestly.

"What about names?"

This was the first time he had mentioned names. I hadn't even really given it any thought. I wasn't like most teenage girls who had their baby names planned out before they even had their first boyfriend. I had never considered it.

"I don't know. I'll think about it. Do you have any in mind?"

"No." He shrugged. "I never thought I would have the need for a baby name."

"Me either." I agreed, "But I like the name Anthony for a boy."

He raised his eyebrow in question.

"It's your middle name, and seeing as the baby technically doesn't really have much of you in it… I think I would like it to have your middle name if it's a boy." I explained carefully.

"Oh." He replied simply.

"Oh?" I pressed.

"I like that idea." He grinned as he pressed his lips to my neck.

The gender of the baby was a topic that was tossed around lightly over the next few weeks as my belly grew larger and more pronounced. Rosalie would constantly stop me in passing to press her ear to the lump that was my stomach and listen to the steady rhythmic beating of the babies heart.

"I think it's a girl." She announced one day. I smiled and set the thought aside with the rest of the theories. Emmett and Jasper were betting on it. Jasper thought it was a girl and Emmett thought it was a boy. I had realized around the third actual month of my pregnancy (the sixth actually, due to the fact that the baby had a three month jump start before Edward had changed me) that I had been subconsciously blocking Alice's visions from the day of the birth. I didn't want to know anything about it until it happened. I was nervous enough already. The one thing that I wished could have stayed a secret the most though, was revealed before the birth.

Carlisle returned to the house one evening with a car full of medical equipment. Kate was beaming with excitement as everyone gathered into the library where it had been set up. There was a table covered with pillows to be made into a bed next to a number of monitors and beeping boxes. I winced slightly as it reminded me of my time in the hospital after my run-in with James.

"Hop up on the bed, Bella." Kate instructed, "We're going to take a look at your baby."

I felt suddenly embarrassed as I noted the fervent eyes of 12 vampires staring at me. I grimaced as Edward lifted me onto the table and pulled me into a laying position.

"Ew." I protested as Kate pulled my shirt up around my rib cage, revealing the large lump beneath it, and squirted some light blue goo onto my belly. She took out a number of other instruments and began rolling them around on my stomach. Fuzzy images passed through the monitor for a few moments before she finally smiled in triumph.

"There. Your baby." She sighed as she spun the screen to face us. A gasp escaped my lips before I could stop it, but it wasn't the only one. Rosalie, Alice, Emmett and Esme gasped too and Edward squeezed my hand tightly.

It was the distinct figure of a baby moving ever so slightly on the screen. The gentle thump thump of it's heart beat had been magnified and filled the room, now, with it's steady beating.

"A girl." Carlisle said, almost as if he had known it before.

We all turned to look at him.

"It was pretty much obvious that it was going to be a girl. Bella's DNA is all that's in it, so the chances were fairly good that it would share the same gender as her…" He explained.

Of course, that was a silly thing for us to not think of.

We all turned our attention back to the monitor then and stared in silence at the small human child that was still 3 months away from its introduction into the world of vampires.

That was my baby. That was _our_ baby.

A girl.

--

A/N:

3 things.

1. Name this baby. I need girl names, preferable first and middle if you can. I'll credit you if I chose your name.

2. I am 17, and though I have witnessed several births being as I am an aunt 12 times, I know very little about the actual mechanics of child labor. If you have any knowledge or experience on the subject, feel free to bring to my attention any medical things that I should address, ie - water breaking, etc. when it comes time for me to write the actual birth. (Which I am ridiculously excited for!)

3. Lately I have received a lot of comments and reviews like this.

"I don't like it, but whatever."

I don't appreciate your sass and I can assure you that I don't give a shit if you don't like it. If that's the case, stop reading it. I can't please everyone and your negativity is unhelpful. Constructive criticism is cool, but just plain cut-downs are not so much welcomed. So basically, if you don't like my story, allow me to point out the form of possession that comes with the word_ my and tell you to get over it. It's my story, and I will write whatever the hell I want. Kay? Great, thanks. _


	15. Chapter 15

In the months that followed, life was a daze. It had been determined that it would be safest for me to deliver the baby in Denali where Kate would be there to offer whatever help she could. The popular topic of discussion around the house was what to name the baby. I had my own idea to name the baby Mary-Anne Lilly Antoinette Cullen. It was a long name, but a little of every one was involved. The feminine version of Anthony had its place, and Mary, being Alice's first name. Anne, being Esme's middle name, and Lilly being derived from Lillian - being Rosalie's middle name. I wanted the family to be involved as much as possible in this child's life. Rosalie had a different idea, though. She had gained the support of both Esme and Alice in insisting that the baby be named after Edward and I and not them. They hadn't come up with any names yet, but they knew what they wanted nonetheless.

My stomach had now grown to the size of a large bowling ball. The baby's birth was an estimated 3 weeks, maybe two away now. I was relieved that the end of the disgusting human food that I had been forcing down was near, but nervous all the same. The baby's blood was plaguing me constantly. I had no urge to "eat my own stomach" as I had so crudely put it all those months ago, but the smell was inviting and uncomfortable at the same time. I had become practiced in not breathing at all, but occasionally I would slip up. Kate had discussed the probability of a cesarean birth with me due to the fact that I would heal quicker and it was much easier to get the baby out in case of complications then. That was another fear, complications. None of us knew what to expect with this birth and it scared us all.

Another minor setback that I knew I would have to deal with was Alice. It took me two months just to convince her that a baby shower was unnecessary, and even then she wouldn't let me escape from it unless I agreed to allowing her full reign over shopping for both my maternity clothes and the babies clothes and every other possible convenience available for raising a child.

Today, Alice had monopolized all of my free time and sat me in front of the computer. In this one case it worked out to my advantage that I had a low tolerance for human blood, otherwise I'm certain that she would have dragged me to every designer shop for baby clothes in existence.

Surprisingly, the online shopping trip was over in less than 4 hours and Alice generously allowed me to spend the extra time with my husband. We had been having the 5 hours of alone time per night, but neither of us were content with just that. It had been hard for me to escape from the nervous eyes of my family, and for them to agree to allow me out of the house with just Edward was a momentous occasion. I needed to hunt, and everyone agreed that it was impossible to allow me to hunt at all let alone without company. Since about a week prior to this hunting trip, my family had been proving their love for me on a daily basis. Esme was adamant about my incapability to run in my condition. She insisted that it wasn't good for the baby to be subjected to that, and since none of us had any proof otherwise, the rest of the family backed her up. I had been hunting at least once a day to keep my resistance up as much as possible, and lately, Edward had been carrying me as he ran. When he caught the scent of an animal, he would set me down and take down the prey for me, to avoid overexertion. I felt terribly dependant, but the entire family ignored my protests and took turns hunting for me. It was difficult for me to ignore my instincts and let others hunt for me, but it was good practice, nonetheless. Resistance was something that I would be spending the next few years of my life perfecting, and I was off to a decent start. According to Carlisle, my practice with abstaining from blood was progressing much quicker than he had ever witnessed, which made me feel more confident about my decision to give the baby to Rose and Esme. I knew that with the proper focus, it wouldn't take me long to be able to come back to my baby, but still - every time I thought of leaving her, a familiar hole began to form in my devoid heart. I knew that leaving her was a necessary precaution, but over the past 5 months she had become a part of me. Though she was yet, unborn, I loved her. Contrary to my previous concerns, the fact that she was caused by Jacob's foul actions didn't affect my love for her in the least. I had grown to look at her as a light in the darkness. Out of all of the negative that had been brought about by my ex-best friend, this one thing could be the positive that turned it all around. All of the people that I cared about, all of my family was excited about this new addition. It made me feel a little less worthless to know that something that happened to me could have this positive of an affect on the people who had given me so much.

Though he hadn't come out and said it yet, I could tell that Edward was excited too. He knew that he was soon to be a father, and as new as the idea was to him, it appeared to be something that he had subconsciously wanted for all of his 100 years. Every time he looked at me, I could see it in his eyes. He was blissfully happy, and his happiness, in turn, caused my own. Despite all that had happened to me, it was a relief to find that I could still be happy.

After he had hunted for me, with the nearby watchful eyes of Rosalie and Emmett, we walked hand in hand back towards the cliff side. Since we had been staying in Denali, that ledge had been our special place. A replacement meadow, I had come to think of it.

"I love you," He reminded me again as I leaned into his side with my feet dangling over the edge.

"I love you too."

We sat in silence for a long moment, watching the sun set into the horizon beyond the trees and mountains in the distance. It had been too long since we had watched the sun set together. Come to think of it, it had been too long since we had really done much of anything together. It was hard to come by a moment alone in a house full of nosey vampires, especially Tanya.

"Are you happy, Bella?" He frowned, despite the simplicity of the question.

"Yes, I am." I replied honestly. "I'm happy."

He smiled my favorite crooked smile and looked at me from the corner of his eye, "Me too." His grin still had the same way of sweeping me off my feet as it had all those months ago when I met him. I trembled slightly as I took in his presence beside me, still not fully able to believe that this perfect creature was meant for me. My breath caught in my throat as I soaked in the perfection of his smile, an action that he did not miss.

"What?" He asked, confused.

"Nothing." I noted the absence of the blood that would surely be coloring my cheeks if it could.

"Why are you embarrassed then?"

"I'm not embarrassed… I was just… marveling at how little I deserve someone as great as you."

"Don't be silly, Isabella. It's I who doesn't deserve you. You are too good to me."

I shook my head, "No. I was just an ordinary human when you met me. I wasn't worth any bit of the affection you gave me."

"You were anything but ordinary, Bella. You were then, just as you are now, the most extraordinary and amazing person that has ever walked this planet. It was more of a miracle that you accepted me than it was the other way around. I was so afraid that when you found out what I was that you would run screaming, but you - being the amazing and unpredictable being that I fell so hopelessly in love with - you instead decide that you want to sacrifice your life to be with me forever. Contrary to what you believe, love, it is I who is unworthy of you." He dazzled me once more with a stunning smile.

I returned his smile with a significantly smaller dazzling effect and he continued.

"I'm so proud of you, my Bella. You have been so brave, despite all of the negative in this situation." His smile widened and he lifted a hand to caress my cheek. "This is so unfair to you, but you are handling it so beautifully." He praised.

I shook my head slightly, still returning his smile. "I wouldn't have been able to deal with any of this if it weren't for the family. Especially you."

"You've made everyone here so happy, Bella. You've turned our lives around completely and given us new purpose. I…" He stopped mid sentence, seemingly forgetting to finish his thought as he lifted my hand to his face and pressed his lips against it. "You're my world." He whispered.

"I couldn't have found a better husband." I replied, still smiling. He placed an end to the expression by vanquishing the grin with his lips. He awkwardly pressed his body to mine, the gesture being repelled slightly by the obstruction beneath my shirt. As he pressed against me, a powerful kick from the baby sent us into a fit of laughter against each others lips. He pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead and then another on my protruding stomach.

"Any ideas on the name, yet?"

"Yes. Mary-Anne Lilly Antoinette Cullen." At his confused expression, I elaborated on the meanings behind each name, to which his brow creased in another frown and he began shaking his head.

"No, Bella. To be entirely honest, I don't like it."

"Oh." I exhaled, not knowing what else to say.

"It's not that the name isn't pretty, but Bella… it's not their baby. I know that you are trying to make them as involved as possible, but you are already giving them as much of a part in this baby's life as they could ever expect, you shouldn't name her after them too. You need to have as much a part in the babies life as the rest of them, if not more."

I thought on that for a moment before accepting his terms and giving him my only other idea. "You name her, then."

"Bella, that's absurd. I am not nearly creative enough to label a baby with something that they will have to live with their entire life."

"No, you trying to convince me that you lack any quality, especially that of creativity, is what is absurd. I trust your judgment."

He smiled and looked down.

"You already have an idea, don't you?" I teased knowingly. "What is it?"

"Well, there is one name I thought of… but I haven't found a middle name that suits it yet."

"What is it?" I pressed.

"No… I don't want to tell you until I have a middle name too. I'll keep thinking about it, though." He promised.

I decided to let the topic drop, knowing full well that I would be able to get it out of him eventually, but not wanting to waste the private moment on interrogation. I contentedly rested my head on his shoulder as his fingers entwined in my own and rested on the shelf that was my belly. He began humming a multitude of different songs, all that I recognized. As the weeks had passed, the lullaby that he had dedicated to the baby had grown and developed into a much more elaborate song, much like my own lullaby. We sat together well into the next morning, only breaking our position once when Edward stood and extended his hand to me. I willingly stood, much more gracefully than any pregnant woman should have a right to - and took his hand. Still humming, he wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me as close as my belly would allow and began leading me to the music. As the sun rose, we swayed to song after song as Edward sang them, not being disturbed until Jasper approached from behind after the sun had risen over the mountains, sending an array of glittering light off of our skin.

"You need some human food, Bella." Jasper warned. "Baby's hungry."

Edward smiled and pressed his lips to my forehead again as he concluded our dance. I scowled darkly, causing an unhidden chuckled to be exchanged between Jasper and Edward as the took in my disgusted expression.

"This baby better be the most healthy human being on the planet after all of this." I mumbled under my breath, shooting them a dark glance as we headed back to the house. "I don't know how much more mac and cheese I can handle."


	16. Chapter 16

"Alice, what's wrong?" I asked frantically. She had stopped mid sentence as she was animatedly describing the baby bed she had just ordered and the gleam in her eye had been replaced almost instantaneously by a blank empty stare. Moment's later an abnormal fear and frustration played across her perfect face.

"Alice!" I repeated, "What's wrong?!"

"Oh, uh, nothing. Listen, Bella… I have something that I need to… I'll just be a minute." She said absently as she moved to pass me.

"No," I protested as I grabbed the corner of her shirt and held her in place, "Tell me, Alice. What did you see?"

"Bella, please!" She pleaded exasperatedly. "Not now."

I released her shirt, purely out of anger. I deserved to know what it was she saw. Especially if it was about, as I suspected it was, me and the baby. She took off at a run towards the living room where Edward and Emmett were deep into a video game. I followed her quickly, knowing full well that if she wanted to talk to Edward, I was the only one who could assure that the conversation would be had aloud instead of unspoken.

"Edward," She called as she burst through the door.

A pause.

"Yes, Alice?"

"I'm… why…" She was momentarily confused.

"What, Alice?" He repeated.

"Damnit, Bella." She caught on and turned to face me in the doorway.

"Whatever you have to say to him you can say in front of me." I spoke through clenched teeth.

"What's going on!?" Edward boomed, frustrated.

"I'm very interested in that explanation too." I shot.

"Bella, please!" Alice groaned, "I don't want to worry you unless I have to."

I looked for a moment between her desperate face and Edwards curious one and knew that I wasn't going to win this.

"Fine!" I shouted violently as I stomped out of the room and out of the house.

I didn't go far, I knew it wouldn't do me any good. I sat on the porch swing just outside of the house with my legs folded beneath me and my arms crossed immaturely above my belly. I made no show of hiding my anger. I fumed silently, my jaw set tightly as I listened intently for Edwards responses to Alice's words coming from inside of the house. I wasn't able to catch much, but what I did hear didn't sound comforting. Edward wasn't normally known to swear like that.

My frustration only heightened as I couldn't catch most of what was being said so I gave up and surrendered to curiosity.

It seemed like forever before Edward finally joined me. I maintained my stubborn position and ignored his apologies as he offered them.

"Bella, I'm sorry. It's nothing for you to worry about, I'm going to take care of everything. Don't be concerned over it, please."

"How can I not be concerned!" I groaned. "Whatever this is obviously has something, if not everything to do with me or the baby, and you're telling me not to be concerned!"

"Bella, Bella, please." He begged, "Just put it out of your mind. It is nothing that you need to worry about. It's not even a real threat right now. I promise if things get more serious that I will tell you about it, but as it stands it is nothing worth worrying yourself over."

It was so unfair the way he could dazzle me into anything. He could probably convince me to do just about anything he wanted.

"Fine." I surrendered, still letting some of my anger slip into my voice. "But I'm not happy about this."

"I know, I can tell." He chuckled.

--

Two more weeks went by with me having absolutely no idea what was going on between Alice and Edward's minds. I was frustrated, but I learned to ignore it as best as I could.

I ignored Alice's presence to the best of my ability. It was hard to be mad at her, but I was. I deserved to know and she was keeping whatever it was away from me. She skirted around me, avoiding my glare and busying herself with other things when she would have otherwise been bothering me with details on baby clothes and other shopping things.

Edward kept trying to make it up to me, but his efforts were pointless because it was impossible for me to stay mad at him to begin with.

Kate had determined that if the baby wasn't born by at least the end of another two weeks, she was going to attempt to induce labor, which as she explained it to me basically meant that she would try to force my body to go into labor. I didn't ask any questions. I hoped that it wouldn't come to that.

Life carried on in the same difficult manner that it had for the last 4 months. Every day I would hunt for myself at least once, though lately it had been twice, and I would eat human food at least three times a day. It was gradually getting more and more uncomfortable for me to breathe. The overpowering scent of my baby's blood haunted my every breath and clouded my senses with it's sweet appeal. I winced whenever I thought of how potent it would be to me when it was born. Edward did his best to comfort me and convince me that I would be right there the entire time making sure that nothing went wrong, but I was still nervous.

"Time for you to hunt, Bella." Edward grinned as he approached me from behind and wrapped his arms around my over-sized waist.

"Of course it is." I muttered sarcastically.

"It's actually time for most of us to hunt." Rosalie supplied from her position on the couch with her favorite book.

In the Denali house, hunting was something of a family affair. They had a lot of routines and traditions that were out of the ordinary for us Cullens, but being as we were their guests, we went along with them as best as we could. I personally thought it was slightly unethical to hunt all together as there was only so many animals in the area at a time, but I kept my opinions to myself.

"I'll go see if they want to come with us." Alice offered as she danced lithely out of the room. It only took her a moment to return with the entirety of the household, all apparently deeming it an appropriate time to hunt.

We set off together, as we usually did. We would normally stick together until we were about 10 miles from the home, then we would split up and go our separate ways. Today though, was different. We had only made it about 7 miles out when Alice abruptly whirled around from her position in front of most of us, a look of pure terror on her face.

We all skidded to a halt behind her, a concerned query ringing out from every one of us. Her eyes locked with Edwards beside me and a sharp snarl ripped from his lips. My eyes widened in fear as he dropped my hand and turned to face the others.

"Emmett, Jasper, Carlisle… come with me." He growled

"No!" I protested.

"I'm going too." Esme's expression looked vicious, as if she knew exactly what was happening. I realized with a pang of frustration that I was the only one who didn't know what was happening.

Eleazar, who had obviously read the situation in either Edward or Alice's mind, bent forward to whisper something in Carmen's ear who then passed it on to Irina, Kate, and Tanya.

"We're going too." Irina growled firmly.

Edward gave her an exasperated glance and then nodded.

"I might be able to be of assistance anyways." Carmen added.

"What is going on!?" I shouted again.

Edward ignored me and turned back to Alice and Rosalie.

"You guys stay with Bella. We wont be long." He then turned his gaze to me, "I should have told you, Bella, but it's too late now. You need to stay here and stay safe with Rose and Alice. Just go hunt and I'll be back as soon as possible. I promise."

"Edward, wha-"

"Keep her away from the house." He directed Alice and Rosalie before placing a light kiss on my forehead and disappearing.

"No!" I shouted in protest. I took a step towards the direction he had departed in, fully intending to run after him, but Rosalie and Alice stopped me before I could.

"No, Bella. Relax." Alice comforted.

"Tell me what's going on!!" I ordered, "I have a right to know!"

The fear and nervousness in her eyes were such emotions that I had only seen Alice display on rare occasions. I put two and two together suddenly and things started making sense.

"The Volturi?" I gasped. .

"No, Bella. Not them." Rosalie grimaced.

Rose and Alice shared a pained glance before Alice nodded in remission.

"Jacob found out that you were pregnant somehow." She whispered.

I felt suddenly dizzy. Jacob was here. That's where Edward was going without me, that's why he had been so angry the past two weeks, that's why Irina was so keen on going with them. The werewolves were the cause for Laurent's death, and she had grown close to Laurent during his stay with them. Jacob was here to see if I was really pregnant. If he were to find out… what would he do? He would never accept that the child in question no longer had any connection to him. Would he try to take it? I didn't know what he would do. He wasn't the same Jacob that I had befriended anymore. All I knew for sure was that Jacob was trying to get to me, and he would likely die because of that goal.

"Bella?" Alice pressed. "Are you okay?"

I felt my face contort into a mask of pain and fear as she voiced her concern.

"Bella?" Rosalie's voice chimed in. "It's going to be okay. They'll take care of it."

"Ow." was my only response.

"What?" Alice blinked, confused.

"Oh my God!" I groaned as I slid down to my knee's, frantically clutching at my stomach.

Rosalie and Alice's eyes bulged as they realized what was happening.

A sharp pain invaded my abdomen, replacing my memory of the worst pain I had ever felt. It was worse than the constant burning feeling that came with the change. It was so much worse.

"Ohhh.." I whimpered, "What the hell.."

"Bella, please tell me that you're not going into labor!?" Alice squealed.

"Not saying it out loud isn't going to stop the process Alice!" I spat as I doubled over in pain.

"Shit." Rosalie groaned as she knelt down beside me and grabbed my hand. "This is terrible timing, Bella, really."

"Well, my mistake! It's not like I chose any of this!" I growled back. I immediately regretted my tone. They didn't deserve to be yelled at like this, this wasn't their fault.

"I'm sorry." I apologized, "I didn't mean to - UGHHHH!" another groan cut off my apology and Alice dropped down to the ground to pat my back awkwardly.

"Bella, are you sure!?"

"Alice!" Rosalie hissed, "I'm pretty sure she wouldn't just be making this up. It's obvious that she-" The rest of her statement was lost to another one of my loud wails of agony.

"Damnit!" I cussed as I realized the gravity of the situation. I was having this baby now.. In the middle of the forest with only Alice and Rosalie to help me. The cesarean and all other plans that Kate had made were out of the question now. Kate, the only one that had any experience in childbirth was not here and neither was my husband. My entire family with the exception of Alice and Rosalie were off protecting me from the creature who raped me and put me in this position.

I had never felt so alone or so afraid in my entire life.


	17. Chapter 17

"_Jesus Christ_!" I groaned. "I hope by some miracle Jacob gets past them all because so help me God, I'm gunna kill'im!!"

"Bella, sweetheart, I might not know a lot about childbirth, but I do think that you should relax." Alice cooed into my ear. Easy for her to say, she wasn't the one in pain.

"Rose, how far apart are her contractions?"

"How the hell should I know!? I'm not counting! She's squeezing my hand off though."

"OW!" I shrieked over her complaint.

"Ow." She whimpered in response, staring longingly at the hand I was clenching.

"There's another one, count Rose."

Rosalie began counting in my ear as Alice paced frantically in front of me.

"What do we do? I mean.. should I go get Edward and Kate.. I don't know what to do, they need to be here, I should go-"

"Don't you DARE leave her with me!" Rosalie snarled. "And allow me to recommend that we remove her pants… otherwise this poor kid wont have any exit when it's ready."

"Oh, right… that's probably a good step.." Alice sighed

"Let's get her comfortable, ALICE! Calm down!" Rosalie ordered. "Take off your sweatshirt and give it to her to use as a pillow, then go get… I don't know… Do you have your cell phone?"

"No.. I left it at the house. I didn't think I would need it seeing as we were all together.." Alice winced.

"I have mine." I whimpered through another contraction.

"Good, wait, that's another one, Rose.. What's the time?"

"The contractions are about 4 minutes apart. Take her phone out of her pocket and while you're at it take off those damn jeans already and give me the phone so I can call Edward." Rosalie instructed.

"Okay." Alice submitted. She bustled around with my articles of clothing searching for my phone for a moment while she whimpered "Oh my God, oh my God," repeatedly.

She began folding my jeans as she handed the phone to Rosalie and then she propped me up with my jeans and her sweatshirt as Rosalie impatiently waited for Edward to pick up.

"Damnit! Voicemail." She groaned before proceeding to leave a frantic message. "Edward, this is Rose. Bella's in labor. Screw Jacob, let the others deal with him. She needs you! Bring Kate with you. HURRY!"

She snapped the phone shut and opened quickly and began punching in numbers on the number pad with one hand. I caught a glimpse of it before she sent it.

_Ed. Baby's coming. We need you and Kate asap. _

"Aghhhh" I screamed in pain.

"Rose, that was less that 4 minutes, they're coming fast!"

"Well check and make sure the head's not out yet!" She shrieked.

"What!? Why me!?" Alice groaned.

"JUST DO IT!" Rosalie and I shouted together.

"Ugh!" She groaned as she ducked her head down.

"No, but it looks close." She grimaced as she looked back up at us. "Rosalie, I can't do this. I can't deliver this baby…" She shook her head wildly, fear growing in her eyes.

"Fine. Come hold her hand and I'll…" She trailed off, ending her statement with a gulp.

Alice and Rosalie switched places as I continued to scream in pain and emit a stream of profanities. 10 minutes passed with Alice counting me through each contraction as I writhed in the worst pain conceivable. I had never hated Jacob more than I hated him in this moment. I was so unprepared for this and my fear was just made worse when I realized that this would be among the last time I would see Rosalie for a while as I would have to move very soon.

"Bella, I did NOT see this coming." Alice said in an almost scolding manner sometime between contractions. "Is there any chance you were subconsciously blocking this from me?"

"I might have been." I groaned, "I don't know."

The minutes ticked by slowly. Contraction after contraction wracked my body and I trembled and moaned in pain as the birth neared with every second. As much pain as I was in, I found that I was more afraid than anything. Alice and Rose, as much as I appreciated them, they had no idea what they were doing and neither did I. I was not prepared to deliver this baby without Edward or Kate, and that was the cause of most of my discomfort.

Relief washed over me in almost tangible waves as Edward shot out of the tree's into the clearing, his eyes wide and full of fear and remorse.

"Did you kill the bastard!?" I growled through another sharp pain.

"No, I didn't have the chance. You needed me here. Emmett and Jasper promised to take care of him, though." He assured me as he knelt down by my other side and took my face in his hands.

"Kate stopped at the house to get some tools, she'll be here as soon as she can."

"I don't know how much more time I ha-" Another scream cut off my statement and he grabbed my hand firmly in his.

"Bella, listen to me." I heard his voice in my ear, "You can do this. I know you can. You are a strong girl and you can get through this. I am right here, Bella. I'm here. Just breathe."

"I can't breathe." I whispered. "I smell her blood."

His brow creased in a sympathetic frown as I doubled over again against another sharp pain.

"It's ok, Bella. You're doing great. Just relax, almost over, just hold on." Edward whispered in my ear, "There. All gone." He concluded as the pain subsided. I knew it was only a matter of time before another pain wracked my body, but even though each successive contraction grew more and more painful, things were easier with Edward there.

"Oh God!" I felt my eyes widen as I spoke, "It's time… It's… ohhhh…" I threw my head back in another long moan.

"Kate!" Alice's voice was full of relief and when I opened my eyes again, Kate was standing over me.

"How is she?"

"In pain." They all murmured.

"Has the baby crowned yet?" Kate asked as she began unpacking the large back she had on the ground.

"What?" Alice frowned.

"Can you see it's head.?" Kate elaborated.

"Not yet, but soon. Her contractions are only about two minutes apart." Alice supplied.

"Two minutes? Very soon, then." Kate nodded. "Take this blanket, Rosalie, and try to get it underneath her as best as you can. Alice, take this blanket and put it under her so she can sit up easier. It's easier for her to push if she has some elevation."

"PUSH!?" I gasped, "No, no… we planned on a caesarean birth, and you're here now, so can't you just cut it out like you said!?"

"Bella, the labor has already progressed so far naturally and it would unnecessarily endanger the baby to try to perform a caesarean birth now. You're going to have to push."

I muttered an additional stream of obscenities through another shriek of pain.

Kate knelt down by my feet and unpacked an assortment of towels and unpleasant looking tools that she assured me were strictly for "just in case" purposes.

"There was absolutely no warning on this at all. She has been in labor for how long?" She queried.

"About an hour and a half." Alice responded.

"She is going to deliver in the next half an hour. This birth is one of the quickest I've seen. I assume that you two told her about Jacob's untimely arrival just before. Shock and stress have been known to cause labor to begin and progress at unnatural speeds. The next half of an hour is going to be a rough one, Bella."

"As opposed to what!?" I screeched, "The first hour and a half have been no picnic, let me tell you -ooooooooooh!" Another contraction tore a long moan of pain from my lips.

"Okay, Bella, I need you to push in between contractions. Every chance you get you need to push, alright?"

"Easy for you to say." I spat through gritted teeth as I forced myself up on my elbows to brace myself to push.

Edward squeezed my hand and I let out a long groan as I pushed with all of my unnatural strength. The pain was surreal. I clenched my eyes closed and gripped Edward and Alice's hands frantically.

"Ohhhh.." I shrieked.

"I know it hurts, Bella." Edward breathed with his sympathetic eyes not leaving mine. "I'm sorry. You're doing so great though.."

"Push for 5, 4, 3, 2, and relax." Kate coached. "Things are going normally so far, Bella. No complications yet, which is good. You're almost there, just focus and get ready to push again."

"Okay…" I winced as another contraction approached. I squeezed my eyes shut and tried so hard to retain the scream building up inside of me.

"Bella, push. You can do this!" Rosalie encouraged. "You're doing beautifully, hun, keep it up."

I was getting thoroughly annoyed with everyone telling me to keep it up and push. Not a single one of them had ever been acquainted with a pain this surreal and intense. I was amazed at how any woman could _want_ this. This "miracle" was truly the most agonizing thing I had ever experienced.

"How much longer" I gasped as the contraction subsided momentarily.

"Not long, you just need to push." Kate promised me.

"Okay." I nodded weakly

Edward's available hand brushed the hair out of my face. His eyes locked with my own, all the sadness in the world dragging them down. I longed to reach out and comfort him. To tell him that this wasn't his fault, but I knew that now I needed to push.

I grimaced at the uncontrollable moans that I couldn't help but emit. I didn't sound like myself, I was wild and each sob that wracked my body made it more and more difficult for me to push.

The next 30 minutes seemed to drag by slowly, as if whatever higher power in this universe was punishing me. All of the encouraging words and coaching of my husband and sisters blended together in a barely audible blur. The sounds of my constant pain and protesting mixed with their attempt at comforting and I eventually stopped listening. I knew what to expect by now. Edward would be whispering a constant string of comforting words and praise into my ears while Alice and Rosalie would be helping Kate to encourage me to push at all the right moments. I pushed with all of my strength as I drowned out the deafening roar coming from my own mouth. In a final moment of pure agony, the static of voices was shattered by the most beautiful noise I had ever head.

The sound of a baby crying.

I collapsed backwards into Edwards arms, my chest heaving with the air that was so hard to breathe. I could smell the baby's blood rushing through it's veins and if I wasn't so damn exhausted, I would have had to work to ignore the attraction.

"Let me see her." I begged.

"Bella, are you sure?" Edward frowned, studying my face cautiously.

"Yes, I can handle this." I promised him.

He looked into my eyes for another moment before nodding at Kate. She gently wrapped the screaming infant in a towel and laid her on my chest.

At that moment, all the world seemed to come to a perfect and beautiful halt. The baby immediately surrendered the use of it's lungs and hushed as soon as it came in contact with me. Kate, Alice, and Rosalie all backed away - giving me my moment.

I held my breath as well as I could as I stared down at the baby before me. She wasn't at all pink at bright as the media had always supplied, but she was grey and slightly wrinkly. None the less, she was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen in my life.

"What's her name, Edward?" I asked him as he positioned himself beside me with his head on my shoulder, staring contentedly at our daughter.

"I like the name Mirabelle." He stated tentatively, looking up at me to gauge my reaction.

I thought for a moment, looking back down to the beautiful girl on my chest before nodding. "I love that."

"I still don't know about a middle name, though." He admitted.

"How about Elizabeth?" I suggested.

He raised his eyebrows at me in question.. "That was my.."

"Mother's name. I know. That's why I chose it."

A faultless grin crossed his lips. "It's perfect."

"She's perfect." I edited

"That she is." He agreed, "She looks just like her mother, how could she be anything but?"

"Mirabelle Elizabeth Cullen." I whispered.

"It suits her ideally." He smiled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead, and then to mine. "I'm so proud of you."

I smiled back and made the severe mistake of inhalation.

"Damn." I winced, "She smells so good."

"She smells like a weaker cognac of what you smelled like." He admitted.

"How could you deal with that?" I asked in wonder.

"It's amazing what you can do when you love someone."

I held my breath and focused all of my mind of protecting my senses from my daughters scent. I leaned forward and pressed my lips to the grey, perfect skin of her forehead.

"Where is everyone? They should have been done murdering him by now." I groaned.

"You're right. I don't know. He was alone though, from what I could smell, so I'm sure nothing happened to them."

"Bella, we can't stay here for long. We need to get the baby back to a safe environment. Are you able to walk?" Kate urged.

The truth was, I felt absolutely fine. The only hindrance to my comfort was the fact that I had to then deliver what Kate referred to as the afterbirth. After I gave her a confused glance, she explained that the afterbirth was the placenta through which the baby had been nurtured with oxygen and food.

"That's where the mac and cheese went before it got to her." Edward grinned knowingly.

"Lets get it the hell out of there!" I exclaimed willingly.

It didn't take long for the unexciting birth of the placenta to take place, and afterwards Kate handed the taken aback looking Edward a pair of scissors to cut the babies umbilical cord. I had no intention of keeping the placenta, so I instructed Kate to leave it in the woods.

My quick healing capabilities left me feeling normal as ever in about 10 minutes flat, even so - Edward offered to help me get cleaned up and redressed.

"Rosalie," I called over to her. Since the birth she had been wrapped up in a corner of the clearing staring at Edward and I with bright eyes. "Would you like to hold your Goddaughter?"

As I said the term Goddaughter, it surprised me. I hadn't ever really thought of that word before now, but it was actually the perfect title. Rosalie's eyes widened and a smile to match appeared on her face. She crossed to me slowly and lifted the baby out of my arms. Not even I could have displayed more maternal tendencies, and I knew that the baby would be well cared for.

"What did you name her?" Rosalie grinned without looking up from her niece's face.

"Mirabelle Elizabeth Cullen."

"Mira for short." Edward supplied.

"That's a beautiful name." Rosalie nodded.

"I told you so, Edward." Alice boasted from her position at Kate's side, helping to put away the contents of her bag.

Edward grinned at her as he began helping me get cleaned up and redressed. Even from across the clearing, I could smell Mira's blood so strongly and it was a torment. After seeing her, I didn't know how I could possibly leave her, but I knew it was best for both of us. Besides, I argued with myself, one look at Rosalie holding her in her arms and there was no denying that she would be very well cared for. In fact, I wouldn't doubt that this child would be so fervently looked after, that in the first 10 years of her life she would suffer little to no scrapes, bruises, or cuts like so many other children.

"Her blood is exactly like yours was." Edward breathed in my ear. "It sings to me."

I looked up at his smiling face and realized that he was not at all set back by the fact that she was just like me. He was happy about it. He grinned back at me for a moment before pressing his lips, still curled upward from his smile, onto my own.

Alice interrupted our moment with a concern that her voice betrayed had been taunting her all day.

"Edward, why could I see him." It took a moment for it to register that she was referring to Jacob. Why could she see him now and never before?

"He stopped phasing after we left. His blood was less disgusting and he smelled more like a human. Not completely, but obviously enough so that you could see him. It explains, though, why your visions were so unsure and cryptic. He's not completely human, now. But he was beginning to stop phasing."

It made sense, I suppose. But he still should have had enough common sense to stay away.

My mind switched over suddenly to worrying about the rest of the family, but before I could become too upset over their absence, they appeared beside me in the clearing.

Edward's eyes flicked casually over all of their faces before emitting a snarl of anger, "WHAT!? How could you let that happen!?" Without another word, he took off into the forest throwing a quick order for them to return me home and keep me there before he vanished.

"What the hell!?" I protested.

"I'm sorry, Bella." Jasper shook his head in defeat, "The moment he saw us he phased again. He was faster than he used to be and we lost him. Edward may have had a chance to catch him, you would have been able to without doubt, but none of us could.

"Home. Now." Alice ordered.

I could tell that the sudden need to leave was torturing Esme, she wanted to see the baby so badly, but she knew that getting her safe was first priority.

"Here, Bella." Rosalie said timidly, "You should spend as much time with her as you can before.."

"Thanks Rose." I accepted the baby from her arms and wrapped her tightly in as many blankets as I could before tucking her protectively into my chest. I focused on not breathing as we began to run. I made sure to hang back with the rest of the group and not put any distance between us. My actions were not for the purpose of protecting myself, but in the interest of protecting my daughter.

We arrived at the house several minutes later and the first thing I noticed was Tanya's immediate absence. I hadn't even noticed her absence in the clearing and I decided that wherever she was was no concern of mine. As soon as we were in the house, Alice set to work setting up the crib and Rosalie went to gather a bottle and formula. It was impossible for my body to create the milk that Mira would have needed to breastfeed, so we had took the proper precautions and bought a multitude of different substitutes.

All of the family bustled around me, admiring the new addition to the family and complimenting our name choice. Jasper kept his distance, but complimented me gratuitously from afar. Esme made no move to approach me, but stood in a corner, wrapped in Carlisle's tight embrace.

"Esme?" I said softly as I approached her.

"Bella." She smiled, turning away from Carlisle to face me.

"I have someone here that you should meet." I returned her smile as she scrunched her features up as if she was trying not to cry.

I handed Mirabelle Elizabeth Cullen to her… what was the term? Grandmother didn't seem fitting, nor did Aunt. Godmother would have to work in this case, too. Esme's face lit up with excitement as she cradled the newborn in her arms.

"You don't have to leave, you know." She whispered, still staring at Mira.

"Yes, Esme. We do. Her blood is so powerful to me, it is taking all of my energy just to focus on not breathing around her and even when I don't breath I can still feel her scent all around me. It's too dangerous. Maybe in a few months… but right now I think she is better left with you guys."

Before she could respond, Emmett wrapped me in a tight bear hug and began spinning me in circles. "You did so good, Bella. I'm so sorry I couldn't catch that mongrel, but don't worry. He wont touch Mirabelle. You have my word on that one. OOOOh, I'm just so proud of you little sis."

"Thanks, Emmett. But do you think you could stop spinning me now?"

"Sorry." He grinned sheepishly as he placed my feet back on the ground.

Kate approached me then and we exchanged thanks and congratulations. Carmen and Eleazar did the same. I thanked them for letting me stay with them and they congratulated me on the safe delivery of my baby. Irina kept her distance, as I expected her to, and Alice and Jasper sat together on the sofa. I went and settled myself next to Alice. She took me by surprise when she suddenly burst into a fit of sobbing.

"I'm so sorry that I didn't tell you about Jacob, Bella. I thought for sure that it couldn't be correct because… well because I am not supposed to be able to see him! I thought it would just be an unnecessary concern for you. I never imagined that telling you would cause you to go into labor. I'm so sorry, Bella."

"Alice, Alice, it's okay." I assured her. "I understand why you didn't tell me and I don't hold it against you. Don't apologize. You helped me out so much today just by being there for me. I couldn't have done it without you. How's your hand?"

She looked up at me, smiling slightly. "I expect it will make a full recovery."

At that moment, Edward burst through the door, panting and out of breath.

"I lost him. Damnit! I lost him!"


	18. Chapter 18

"What do you mean you lost him!?" Emmett's voice rang out, defensive.

"He's faster than he used to be." Edward panted, "I think it might have something to do with the fact that he just began phasing again. Maybe his strength is gauged like a vampires in the way that it he is the strongest after the change is recent."

"That is a very plausible explanation, Edward." Carlisle complimented, "But it still does not solve our problem."

The house suddenly erupted in chaotic shouts and ideas. Everyone trying to get there say in, throwing out their own suggestions.

"Let's create a diversion!"

"Let's surround him!"

"Maybe he'll just go away."

"Leave him alone, he'll show up here eventually."

But each new suggestion was shot down by a series of rebuttals and soon everyone was fresh out of ideas. It was clear to me what had to happen now. I was the fastest. I was the only one who could catch Jake, and I had to do it. I had to protect my daughter in any way possible and I couldn't leave here without ensuring her safety first. It wasn't that I didn't trust Rosalie, Emmett, Carlisle, and Esme to protect her, it was more the fact that the responsibility of her protection was first and foremost my own. If Jacob was going to insist on repeatedly presenting himself as a problem, there was only one conclusion that I predicted would work. True, I was no Alice, but I had my instincts when it came to things like this. Especially now, the motherly instinct was as strong and as fresh as any in me and I was willing to go to any lengths to protect my only child from harm.

"I'll go."

At the sound of my voice, the entire household went silent. Every pair of eyes turned to me and Edward was the only one who offered opposition.

"No, Bella. I don't want you to get hurt." I was about to open my mouth in protest, but Rosalie beat me to it.

"Let her go, Edward. She needs to do this." I knew that I could count on Rosalie to understand. She knew exactly the kind of turmoil I was feeling at this moment because she had experienced it before. She knew what I needed to do.

"I'm coming with you then," He argued.

"You wont be able to keep up." I pointed out.

"That's true, but I will be able to get there at least a little bit after you to offer any assistance I can." His tone was pleading and I knew that I couldn't deny him at least the invitation to follow me. I nodded my head once before heading towards the door.

"Bella!" Esme's voice stopped me in my tracks. I turned to face her, she was holding Mira tightly to her chest staring at me with wide eyes, "Be careful." I gave her a reassuring smile before sprinting out of the door.

I surveyed the air tentatively with my nose until I caught the significant scent of Jake. It was no longer the pleasing, woodsy odor that I used to enjoy, but rather, a stench strong enough to make my stomach churn in distaste.

I immediately began flying through the forest as fast as I could. Edward's movement behind me disappeared as I surged forward with more speed than I had traveled with in months. The stench grew stronger and stronger, and then…. Mixed with a sweeter smell. A vampire. Not just any vampire….. Tanya. I was immediately confused. Had Tanya run off to take care of Jacob for me? I couldn't believe that. Tanya hated me.. Or at least she had neglected to give me any sign of any emotion other than hate towards me since I had known her. Why would she help me now? And an even better question, how could she have caught him when no one else could. I shook the thoughts out of my head, deciding that it was useless to concern myself with questions whose answers were mere minutes ahead of me. I pressed on, faster. I was a mile away when my bat-like radar told me that Jacob was on the move. He had caught my scent and was fleeing away from me. I was more confused now than I had been. Tanya's scent had mingled with his for a time, and then went in a separate direction as he began running. Another confusing aspect of the situation…. Jacob was running from me. I thought I was what he was after… but perhaps it was Mirabelle that was his actual goal. I concentrated on my speed as the distance between him and I decreased little by little. He was fast, but not fast enough. I gained on him steadily before he was near enough for me to hear him panting. Suddenly, I saw his large form dodge into a low bush. I slowed as I neared his location and I felt my eyes narrow as he stepped out of the bush as human Jacob. "So now you decide to keep your pants on in my presence. How thoughtful." I spat. "Bella, please." He held out a hand, as if it had any way to stop me, as he backed away. I realized with a start that he was afraid of me.

"I just want to talk, can we please be rational about this?"

"Talk? Rational?" I gaped at him incredulously, "NOW you want to talk. NOW you want to be rational. Go to hell."

"Bella, I'm sorry. Honestly. I've stopped drinking, I haven't had a drink in 6 months."

"Bravo." I applauded sarcastically, "How does that change anything?"

"Because when I apologize for what I did, this time, I really mean it. I am sincerely sorry, Bella. I never meant to.."

"I would never hurt you, Bella." I said it with such conviction that it even startled me.

"What?" He frowned.

"That's what you said. Those were your exact words 2 minutes before you raped me. I would never hurt you."

He winced at my accusation and began another round of apologies.

"Save it." I interrupted. "Just tell me what the hell you want so we can get this over with."

"Well, to apologize… was one thing." He grimaced.

"Apology not accepted. Next?" I shot impatiently.

"You had my child, Bella. I think that I at least deserve.."

"YOU deserve NOTHING! The only thing that you deserve is for me to kill you right now. I'm sure you've noticed that I am more than capable of breaking your neck right now, and I believe the term you are looking for was my child. Not yours. You have no claim over her at all."

"Yes, I do, Bella. I helped make… her. It's a girl?"

"I am not explaining this to you right now, Jake, but the bottom line is that Edward's venom reacted with your genes and erased every ounce of your genetics that this child could have regrettably acquired. This baby is not yours and therefore you will have nothing to do with her. You do not get to see her and you do not get any details about her. You get nothing."

"Except a lot of attitude." He muttered.

"Excuse me?" I snarled.

"Nothing. But Bella, I think you're being a little bit unfair, I mean, without me she would be here and…"

"UNFAIR!" I shrieked. "Let me tell you about unfair! How about being 18 years old and being raped by your best friend. How about having to tell my father what his best friends son did to me. How about having to suffer through a less than ideal pregnancy at such a young age when I didn't even CHOSE for this to happen. Don't you dare talk to me about unfair you fucking sack of shit! I detected a note of hysteria in my voice as I hurled insults at him. I knew that cutting him down wasn't going to really help the situation, but damn it, it made me feel better.

"Bella, please calm down."

"How did you get away from Tanya, and how did you know about the baby!" I ordered.

"Who's Tanya?" I glared at him in response.

" I knew when I saw you at the Cullen house the day after. It was instinct. I knew right then that you were pregnant. I kept it out of my thoughts though. I figured Edward would want to kill the baby when he found out that I had made it and not him."

"Well that's another area where you are wrong. Edward is not like you, Jacob. He wouldn't hurt me."

"And I'm sure that when he stole your life from you and turned you into a bloodsucker that that was entirely painless."

"Jacob Black, I hate you." Was my only response.He nodded his head in silence for a moment before speaking again.

"So are you going to kill me?"

"Were you not fully intensive on killing me if it hadn't been for Seth and Sam stepping in?"His face paled and his eyes widened.

"Bella, no. I could never have…"

"Just like you could never have hurt me… right?"

"No, Bella.."

"Just like you were my friend, right? Just like you promised to protect me and be there for me? Do you expect me now, to forgive you for all of the lies?"

"I never meant to.."

"Just shut up, Jake. I don't want to hear it. I'm done with your excuses."

"Kill me then." He offered. My jaw dropped slightly, and I stared at him for a moment. He returned my stare bravely before speaking again.

"You can come out now." I frowned for a moment before realizing that Edward was at my side.

"How long have you been here?" I asked without looking at him.

"5 minutes or so. You had things covered, though. Why the hell does he smell like Tanya?" He realized with a sudden accusatory tone to his voice. We both turned to glare again at the cowering Jacob in front of us.

"Well, dog?" Edward spat.

"I…" Jacob stammered. Edward's features contorted and a snarl ripped from him as he read Jacob's mind. "She's what!? You son of a bitch! Bella, Tanya's after Mira. She's trying to bring her to Jacob so that… what? How the hell does she think this is going to make me leave you?"

"Edward, what did you just say?" I gasped frantically. Shaking my head to make sure that the words registered properly in my mind

"Tanya's after Mira to bring her back to Jacob." He repeated.

An all too familiar deafening roar filled my ears and my vision went red.

"You son of a bitch." Were the last words I remember saying before I launched myself at Jacob Black's trembling figure in front of me.


	19. Chapter 19

_Why isn't he phasing? I frowned to myself as I felt my fist collide with Jacob Black's skin repeatedly. It would seem obvious that under attack he would phase into his werewolf form to create some form of a defense, why wasn't he doing that? Not only was he not phasing, but he wasn't even fighting back. I had, in one swift and powerful movement tackled him to the ground and he had not given any form of defense. Even now as my fists pounded into him over and over again he just laid there, looking at me. _

_I felt a sob escape my lips and before I knew it, his iron grip that used to seem so unbreakable to me shackled around my wrists. _

"_Are you done?" He smirked. _

"_UGH!" I hissed as I stood up, glaring at him. I knew that in one simple movement I could likely break his neck, but why wasn't I doing it? He had sent Tanya after my daughter, he had raped me, he deserved death. _

"_You bastard." I spat, "You sent Tanya…" _

"_No-" He cut me off, "She found me and offered. I didn't ask her for anything." _

_A snarl ripped through Edwards lips from behind me, bringing my attention to his presence again. I whirled quickly to face him._

"_What the hell are you still doing here? Tanya has our baby!" I yelled a little too harshly. _

"_Bella, Mira is in the hands of Rosalie and Esme, do you really believe that Tanya will even have a chance to-" Before he could finish his statement, his phone buzzed from the depths of his pocket. In a quick movement it was to his ear. _

"_What happened?" _

_I could distinctly hear Alice's voice coming from the phone which I immediately credited my intensified sense of sound for. _

"_Tanya tried to take Mira." She sounded breathless and extremely angry._

"_Yes I know that. You said tried, though. I assume that means that she failed." Edward's eyes narrowed._

"_Oh, she failed alright. You're never going to believe what happened, but I'll tell you guys when you return. Did Bella kill the dog yet?" _

"_Not yet, but if he keeps up with his attitude, I might snap his neck before she does." _

"_Good. Don't worry. Mira is safe. Hurry back, though." _

_He snapped his phone shut and met my relieved eyes for a brief instant before we both simultaneously turned back to Jake. _

"_Fail." Edward stated coolly. "Did you really believe that Tanya would be able to get the baby back here to you?"_

"_I knew it was a long shot, but it might have worked." _

_I felt my façade snap into a grimace of pure hatred. My eyes narrowed and I set my jaw as I stared at my former best friend. _

"_And what then, Jake? Were you going to take my daughter from me, too? Haven't you taken enough from us!" _

"_No, Bella… it's not like that. I just wanted to see her… and I knew you wouldn't let me." _

"_You don't deserve to see her." I snarled. "You think that a bullshit apology is enough to make me forgive you for everything and willingly let you into my daughters life? If that's the case, Jake, you have a highly jaded view of reality." _

_He responded to my furious stance with a pitifully pleading expression for a moment before speaking again._

"_You planned to kill me all along." _

_I was taken aback by his statement for a moment. _

"_What?" _

"_The pixie girl, on the phone. She said have you killed him yet. Your intention on finding me was to kill me, it wasn't just an option, it was the purpose." _

"_Yeah, Jake. That was my motivation in finding you. You threatened the safety of my daughter after you tore my life apart, what did you expect? A warm and friendly welcome back and a nice conversation to catch up on each others lives over a cup of coffee?"_

"_Not at all. You don't drink coffee anymore. You need neither food or energy, right? You're dead." His tone was jesting, as if he was being sarcastic about it, but as he said it, the realization of the situation dawned in his eyes. It was as if seeing me here, obviously a vampire, still hadn't convinced him of the truth. It was like he hadn't faced the facts yet, like he had been wallowing in denial for the last 6 months. _

"_Bella," He spoke my name as if it left a bad taste in his mouth. His face crumpled to host a disgusted and appalled expression. "You realize that I'm bound by the treaty to kill you both right now?" _

_Our eyes both widened in surprise at the sound we heard next. Edwards booming laugh shook the forest surrounding us as we both turned to face him. _

"_Jacob Black, you realize, don't you, that we were bound by the treaty to kill you the moment you set foot on our property after you hurt Bella. Bella is my wife and therefore, a Cullen. By hurting her, you deactivated the treaty yourself. You also realize, I'm sure, that there is no possible way that you could kill Bella. You love her too much. Even as a vampire, you still love her. Even now, you still haven't accepted that you will never be together. Even if there was still a chance after she had married me, you completely destroyed it when you attacked and almost killed her. Are you really that big of an idiot?" He chuckled again. _

_Jake's face was immediately colored by his boiling blood and he began trembling. _

"_Maybe I am not able to hurt Bella, but the way I see it - I can, however, remove the one portion of the equation that has forever taken the girl that I love from me."_

_Before I recognized what was happening, Jacob towered above me as the monster that had haunted my last week of human dreams. The shaggy, Russet brown colored wolf, teeth bared, closing the gap between us brought me immediately back to the worst moment of my life. Without warning, I was back in the garage, facing my death. This time, however, was worse than my nightmares. This time, I wasn't the target. The only thing that Jake could do to hurt me worse than he already had, was hurt Edward, and I felt the fear and rage well up within me as Jake's wild figure leapt through the air towards my husband. _

_I was about to react, when suddenly, Edward disappeared from beside me. Jacob's claws dug into the earth where Edward had instantly vanished from and before he could whirl around, Edward was behind him. With one powerful kick to the wolf's hindquarters, Edward sent Jacob flying face first into a tree. The tree shuddered and snapped upon impact and I had to quickly roll out of the way of the falling foliage. I was about to jump in and offer my assistance to Edward, when I realized that I wouldn't be much help. I hadn't even been able to put much force into my punches before, I just didn't have it in me to attack Jake. I spent the next 5 minutes kicking myself for my lack of bravery while Edward reacted to every attack Jake thought of before he had even made it. It was clear that Jake was getting exasperated and I must admit that I was slightly amused by his failure. It was also clear, though, that Edward was drawing this out for his own personal entertainment. He was getting a kick out of Jake's helplessness and I was growing very impatient. I tucked my legs beneath me and crossed my arms as I watched. Jake and Edward darted in and out of the trees, causing many natural casualties. Suddenly, Jake let out a long, tortured howl. My head snapped around to their new position behind me and I found Jake trembling in a mangled heap beneath a tree. Edward advanced towards him again, his gait told me that he was completely intent on ending Jacob Black. I winced and squeezed my eyes closed, letting out a small, accidental whimper. _

_I heard Edward's advance hesitate, and then a few more steps. I placed my hands over my ears and held my breath in a vane attempt to protect myself from witnessing Jake's death. I whimpered again as I heard another thud, followed by the undeniable sound of a dog yelping. Why was I being so weak? He deserved this._

_I maintained my position several moments more before I felt Edward's strong arms encircle me and lift me from the ground. He smelled terrible, but I leaned to bury my face in his chest anyways as he began walking away. He eventually began to run, ignoring my request for him to set me down until we had finally reached the house. _

"_Are you alright, Bella?"_

"_Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry, I should have helped. As soon as he phased, I just froze. I'm such a-"_

"_No. I don't blame you. Don't be sorry. I enjoyed myself."_

"_Did you…" I trailed off. Did I really want to know if Jake was dead? Would that really make it easier for me? No, I decided, it wouldn't. "…never mind, don't answer that. I don't want to know." _

_He nodded his understanding and pulled me into a hug. _

"_Thanks." I whispered. _

"_I love you." - his response._

_The nearby sound of a baby crying immediately broke our embrace and sent us scampering for the house. By the time we had entered, though, Mira was silent again, in the arms of Rosalie. A small smile crossed my lips as I watched Rosalie expertly bounce and comfort her into a peaceful sleep. _

"_Bella!" Alice squeaked as she saw us. "Is he dead?" A big grin crossed her face momentarily, but vanished then when Edward cleared his throat and drew attention to his disproving expression. _

"_Oh, never mind then." Alice dismissed. "I can't believe he sent Tanya after your baby, though."_

"_He didn't. Tanya offered." Edward snarled, "Speak of the scumbag, where is she?" _

"_Oh, well… I wouldn't expect to see her for the rest of the evening."_

"_Say it out loud." Edward directed, vanishing the stream of details flowing from Alice's mind. _

_I shot him a grateful glance as Alice agreed and beckoned for us to join her on the sofa. The rest of the family followed, and I noticed immediately that none of the home's original occupants were present. _

"_Well, Tanya walked in here and she looked crazy… it was kind of scary. Then she was insisting that Esme let her hold Mira and Esme didn't want to. Then all of the sudden Eleazar started shouting, "Don't give her to her!" and then Tanya went crazy. She tried to attack Esme, but Esme somehow managed to send her flying across the room without even waking the baby and by then the rest of us reacted. Then Tanya started shrieking something about how the baby was standing in the way of her and Edward and how Edward would never leave Bella as long as the baby was around and how Jacob was the child's rightful father in her eyes and then we all caught on to what she was doing. I was about to kick her ass myself when Kate and Irena tackled her to the ground. They were vicious. Needless to say, Tanya will be taking some time to recuperate before she comes out of her room. Carmen and Eleazar haven't stopped screaming at her I don't think… but the point is, Mira is safe." _

"_I think it's time for us to leave." I had opened my mouth to say those exact words, but Esme's voice beat me to it. _

_A murmur of agreement floated through the room, and Rosalie and Esme both exchanged an indecipherable glance before turning to me. _

"_Are you staying with us, or leaving?" _

_I looked up at Edward and his grip tightened around my waist as he looked back at me. _

"_I don't know, yet." I whispered. _


	20. Chapter 20

"Edward, would you like to hold your daughter." Rosalie smiled as she held out the bundle of human wrapped in pink to him.

He gulped, but nodded as he stepped towards her, his arms outstretched. Rosalie gently placed Mira into the cradle of his marble arms. She gave a slight yelp of protest at being jarred from her slumber, but quieted immediately as her big gray eyes opened sleepily and surveyed her new sleeping arrangements. From my safe distance across the room, I saw her eyes connect immediately with Edwards. A small sigh-like noise escaped her lips as she let her eyes flutter shut again. I smiled and shook my head in wonder, Edward was even able to dazzle our newborn daughter into recession.

I watched him for a few minutes. It was not hard to tell how blissfully happy he was. He had never considered the possibility of having a child, but now that she was snuggled into his arms, it was plain that it had always been a dream of his. In that moment, watching him rock Mirabelle to sleep with the hugest and goofiest of grins on his perfect face, I knew that there was no possible way that I could make him leave her. I knew he would do it for me, no matter how much he wanted to stay with her, but I was not willing to make him make that sacrifice. I had been selfish in the past, and I was not going to let what I wanted or needed interfere with his happiness anymore. I thought deeper into the situation and realized with a pang of guilt that even if I didn't want Edward to leave for unselfish reasons, the reasons that I wanted to stay were, for the most part, completely selfish. I didn't want to leave her. The first moment I held her, with my predatory instinct fighting against my motherly instinct, I knew that I couldn't leave her. It was a danger to her, but still… I couldn't bear to be away from her now.

I focused on not breathing, a task that I had gotten very good at over the past 6 months, as I approached him. I wrapped my arm around his waist and laid my cheek against his shoulder as I matched his gaze, staring down at our daughter. It seemed so weird to me to be able to say the words our daughter. I felt so undeserving of such a beautiful gift.

"How did you come up with the name Mirabelle?" I hadn't realized that I had actually voiced my query until he broke his gaze on her and met mine.

"Because… it sounds like the word miracle, mixed with a little bit of your name. You were so focused on everyone else having connection to a part of her name but you, when really, you should have the most connection to it."

"It's perfect." I smiled at him.

He returned my smile before continuing, "Mirabelle Elizabeth" Is perfect.

I gazed at him for another moment, reveling in how entirely happy he was. "I want to stay, Edward." I whispered into his ear, knowing full well that there was still a chance that everyone else in the room could hear.

"Are you sure?" He raised his eyebrow.

"I'm sure."

"Oh, Bella!" Esme's voice chimed from across the room. "That's so great!"

"Bella, can I have a word with you… elsewhere, please?" Edward's smile tuned into a suddenly serious grimace. Without waiting for response, he pulled me down the hall and into the library.

After the door was clicked shut, he turned to me and placed his hand that was not occupied by supporting Mira on my cheek.

"Are you sure?" He repeated.

"Yes, Edward, I'm sure."

"Promise me that you're not making this decision because you don't want to hurt me."

My hesitation in responding was all he needed for confirmation.

"Isabelle Marie Cullen. This is not about me! This is about you. What do you want?"

"You're wrong." I shook my head, "This is about her." I gestured to the sleeping baby in his arms.

"This is about what would be best for our daughter and I think that what would be best for her is having her father with her."

"And what about her mother?" He raised his eyebrow.

"She will keep her distance." Though I tried to avoid it, I could hear the tone in my voice change and feel my face fall as I said it.

"Bella, you wont hurt her. Even though her blood practically begs to you, you will resist because you love her, just as I resisted your blood when you were human. I know that you wont hurt her, but you don't seem to be so convinced. What is important is that you are comfortable with your decision. I don't want you to live in fear for the next few years. It's not fair to you."

"If I ask them to, Rosalie and Esme will watch over her constantly. Alice can keep an eye on her future, which I'm sure she would have been doing already, and make sure that nothing happens. And I know that you wouldn't let me…."

"Of course I wouldn't. Bella, Mira will be the most well looked after child in the world. I doubt she will ever even suffer one tiny scratch in her entire life."

At his words, I cast my eyes downward.

"What's wrong?" His voice was laced with concern as he lifted my chin until I met his eyes again.

I hesitated a moment before voicing my own concern, knowing that he would get it out of me somehow anyways, "She's human, Edward. One day she is going to out-age us…"

"I thought of that too. When she is seventeen, we will give her the decision. Human for life, or vampire forever."

I nodded my agreement silently and returned my gaze to our daughter.

"Here." He offered her to me confidently, banishing the sudden fear in my eyes with a quick kiss. I hesitantly took her from him and cradled her to my chest. Again, she opened her eyes a little upon transfer, but closed them again after surveying her new protector.

_Protector_

Oh, God. That's what she would think of me as. To a child, a mother and father are her number one protectors. How twisted for her number one protector to also be her number one threat. But what if I wasn't the only threat, what if Jacob was still alive? What if Tanya was still set on getting to Edward through her.

"Mira will be the most well looked after child in the world", Edward had promised. I knew it was true, no matter what threats may face her; Tanya, Jacob, or God forbid.. The Volturi, she would always be safe. She had a family of vampires to look out for her. Though it may be true that there was potential danger in that environment alone, she would be far too looked after and cared about for any harm to ever come to her. I would rather die than let anything hurt her.

Still not breathing, I lowered my head quickly to plant a gentle kiss on her tiny nose. She stirred slightly before settling back into a deep slumber.

A light rap on the door broke my gaze on Mira and Edward beckoned for Alice to enter.

"Sorry to interrupt." she apologized, "But in about 1 minute, Mira will be needing her diaper changed and then after that she will decide that she's hungry and start exercising the use of her lungs until we get a bottle for her." she grimaced at the idea of a baby screaming and Edward and I both chuckled in response.

"With you around her all the time, Alice, I doubt this baby will ever have the chance to cry." He assured her as we began following her back to the living room.

"So it's true!?" Her eyes suddenly alight, "You're… erm.. We're staying?"

"Yeah, Alice. We're going to stay."

"Not here, though." Edward corrected quickly. Of course we couldn't stay here. I could not be left in a house with Tanya for too much longer without the threat of her demise becoming more pronounced. Every second I thought about what she had done, I wanted to snap her neck, and from Edward's jaw set, I could tell that he agreed. Just let her show her face down here before we leave. Let's see what would happen, I thought pointedly.

As we entered the living room once more, I noticed the immediate addition of Kate, Carmen, and Eleazar. All at once, the three of them swooped to meet Edward and I and expel their endless apologies for Tanya's behavior and promise that she wouldn't be bothering us any more. I accepted their apologies willingly, but a small portion of my brain still dared Tanya to approach Edward with her lust and longing one more time, and as Esme prepared a bottle for Mira, I debated all of the different ways I could get my point across to her, eventually settling on placing my foot so far up her scrawny backside that it would require a professional to remove it. Essentially though, I knew that the only way anything would ever get through to her would be if Edward was the one to tell her himself, in the worst and cruelest way possible.

Watching Edward change Mira's diaper was entertaining enough to take my mind off of Tanya, though. He wrinkled up his nose at the smell causing a chorus of melodic giggles to resound from around the room. I did notice, however, his thoughtful attentiveness to not touching her skin directly in an effort to spare her any unnecessary temperature drop. When he was finished, he expertly handed her back to me I tried to give Mira to Esme to feed, looking for some way to ease my guilt at revoking my promise to let them care for her, but she insisted that I should be the one to do it. As she was fed and burped, I joined in the families conversation about moving.

"Well, we've got to go soon. We've interrupted your lifestyle for long enough," I pointed out, directing the second half of the statement at Carmen, Eleazar, and Kate.

"Where to, ma?" Emmett asked Esme.

"Well, we intended to go to the cottage before Bella was pregnant, I suppose that's where we'll go now." She replied, paying careful attention to not revealing too many unnecessary details. The last thing we needed was for Tanya to know our exact whereabouts, just in case.

"When?" Alice suggested from her seat on Jasper's lap across the room.

"Soon. Tomorrow evening at the latest." Carlisle nodded. "Pack your things tonight. We'll hunt in shifts tomorrow before we leave."

With the topic settled, I accepted an offer from Kate to give the baby a quick medical checkup before we left. All was well with Mira, and as far as Kate and Carlisle had been able to tell - she was a perfectly healthy and normal baby girl. Normal, that is, with the exception of her blood-sucking family.

As Kate packed away her stethoscope and plethora of other medical instruments, Edward rocked Mira gently back to sleep. I watched him, smiling, as he handled our daughter. My smile quickly rotated into a confused frown as his gentle swaying motion ceased and he stiffened, a slight snarl curling his upper lip.

Kate reacted immediately, she abandoned her medical bag and darted to the stairs to cut off Tanya's approach. I head the vague noises of a struggle as Kate pressed Tanya back. "No, don't do this. You've done enough harm, leave them alone."

"I have something to say, Kate. Back off."

Edwards snarl became much more pronounced as she rounded the banister, followed by a very apologetic looking Kate, and stood before us, looking much more confident than she had any right to.

"Hello." She raised her eyebrow smugly.

The addition of my snarl to Edward's immediately gained the attention of every other occupant of the house and we were soon backed by the entirety of the Cullen family plus Eleazar and Kate.

"Relax." She rolled her eyes, "I just wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have done what I did and I know that. I got carried away by my desperation."

"You're desires are misplaced. I am not attracted to you, Tanya." Edward's eyes narrowed.

"You never have been, have you?" She frowned, "Never. No matter how hard I tried to seduce you, you never looked at me the same way as any one else had. But then, her. What's so damn special about her?" She mused to herself. "Can you explain to me, Edward, what she has that I don't?"

"A conscience, for starters." He spat.

"I don't understand. I'm perfect for you. I have tried so hard to gain your affections and you just ignored me.." she shrugged desperately.

"My favorite thing about Bella is her imperfections. She doesn't think she is as perfect as you think you are. She has a sense of embarrassment and because of her character, she is more beautiful inside and out than you could ever wish to be. In no way would you harming Mira make me stray from her side to your's. How stupid can you honestly get.."

Tanya's eyes narrowed immediately. "I would do _anything_ for you. She doesn't deserve you."

I rolled my eyes. I knew that I didn't deserve him already, she didn't need to point it out.

"Anything?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Anything." Tanya breathed.

"Leave me alone. Stop trying to ruin my life. Let me be happy."

"I can't…"

"No, I believe all of the said requests fall under the category of "anything"." He smirked.

"You never even gave me a chance." She wailed.

"You'll get over it, Tanya." I snorted, "You can have any man you want except one from my family. Especially not my husband."

"What makes you think that I couldn't have one of them if I wanted?" She snarled back, gesturing to Carlisle, Emmett and Jasper, causing a round of additional snarls from Alice, Rosalie, and Esme.

"Well because I have this mind thing where I can protect them from the false advertisement that you call seduction, and you better believe that I will do everything in my power to protect my family from an evil like you."

"Bitch." Tanya growled as she took a step in my direction. Her approach was cut off by Rosalie and Alice, who were the closest to me. "Get out of my house. I never want to see any of you again." She snarled, "Especially you." She narrowed her eyes at Edward before darting up the stairs, her footsteps in the hallway above us shaking the chandelier.

We all stood in silence for a moment before quiet environment was broken by Carlisle.

"We leave tonight."


	21. Chapter 21

"Thanks for everything." I half-forced a warm smile as we exchanged our goodbyes with our host family of the previous several months.

"I'm sorry about the, you know… trouble." Kate apologized sincerely.

"No worries. I'm afraid we were over staying our welcome anyways." Esme grimaced as she followed behind the rest of our family in displaying our appreciation and gratitude to the members of the Denali clan who had showed up to see us off. Carmen, Eleazar, and Kate were all still present, Irina had left quickly, but Tanya stayed clear.

"Nonetheless," Carmen pointed out, "she shouldn't have banished you like that. It was rude."

We did our best to shrug off the events of the evening indifferently, but some animosity and remorse was still present in our carefully filtered façades as we finished our hasty goodbyes and departed for the vehicles.

Transporting Mira was a slight obstacle, but it was easily overcome when we realized just how prepared Alice really was. She had thought of everything, including a baby seat for the car. Edward carried Mira in his arms, wrapped tightly in a pink blanket, as we traveled quickly to the garage where our cavalcade of vehicles were stored.

The only additional space that hadn't been taken over by the expanse of baby clothes and toys that Alice had spent a small fortune on was in Esme and Carlisle's vehicle. I knew that Mira would be well looked after with Esme, and it was only a four - which, translated to Cullen speeds turned to a two - hour drive, but I still couldn't help but feel a pang of compunction as I held my breath and kissed her tiny nose once more. I couldn't possibly imagine how I had ever planned to leave her.

As we sped off down the snow laced roads, Edward explained to me what our next place of residence looked like. It was, in every applicable sense of the word, an island. A mansion-sized building that hardly resembled the cottage title it had been given on its own personal, small Island. The garage was located a half of a mile away on the mainland and instead of a garage on the island, there was a dock. Though it was an inconvenience to be so far away from hunting grounds, the original purpose of the location was because it was clear of people who could accidentally stumble upon it. Now, with Mira in the family, living far away from human blood was a pointless thought, but on such short notice, this would do for now. Just until Mira was older.

I was not surprised, when I saw the boat, that all of our possessions fit onto it easily. It was a very large boat, built for speed and nothing else. Jasper looked much more elated than he should be to be behind the wheel of a machine more powerful than Alice's prized vehicle which we had just forcibly removed her from. Needless to say, Alice was less than thrilled on leaving her beautiful car on a different body of land than where she was going and she felt the need to give it a rather unorthodox farewell. Even as we unloaded the boat and moved everything into the house, she was still grumbling about how unfair it was for her to have to leave her car behind.

The house was, as expected, immaculately breathtaking. Though uninhabited for decades, there wasn't a speck of dust present, somehow. In moments, Esme had floated around the house removing the sheets covering the furniture and replacing light bulbs and batteries in all of the random household appliances. It had been decided that Mira's crib would be situated in Edward and I's bedroom. I argued a little bit, but with Edward's convincing, I soon agreed that there was nothing that I could do to hurt Mira and that she would be perfectly safe in our bedroom.

Rosalie, Emmett, and Jasper unloaded the game consoles first while Alice assisted Esme in the library and Kitchen. Carlisle helped Edward and I put the plethora of baby toys and cribs and changing stations around the house before showing us to Edward's bedroom, which Edward immediately corrected him with a stern "_Our_ room, you mean.."

We spent the remainder of the evening unpacking his CD's and caring for Mira off and on. Esme swept her away to feed her and change her at precise intervals which I suspected were overabundant, but I never stopped her. It was clear that Mira's presence in the family had brought her more joy than any of us had thought possible. Still in the schedule we had held in Denali, at about midnight, after Edward had successfully rocked Mirabelle to sleep, we retired back to the room.

I crawled up on the satin sheets of the bed and curled my feet beneath me as I watched Edward handling our daughter. He gently unwrapped the blanket from her sleeping body and laid her in the crib. He began turning back to face me, but stopped short and returned his stare to Mira. A small, crooked smile curled his lips as he surveyed her, and suddenly, he sucked in a deep breath and held it as he leaned forward to press his lips briefly to Mira's forehead. She stirred a little at the sudden cold, but the motion was so slight that she fell immediately back into her deep sleep. I realized as he turned back to me that I was mirroring his smile.

He slid comfortably onto the bed beside me and found my hand without breaking our gaze. We sat together for countless minutes, perfectly content with each other's company.

Our motionless was broken by a sudden, decisive movement from him as he leaned forward to place his lips on my jaw line just below my ear. "I love you, Isabella." He whispered.

I caught his head before he was able to resume his previous position and I let my fingers coil through his bronze locks.

"I love you too." I replied as I pressed my marble lips to his.

"Mmmm," he moaned as he leaned forward, moving me from my sitting position so that my back was pressed against the bed. My anticipation caused me to become conscious of the fact that we had had a very limited amount of intimacy over the last few months, and his hand roaming up my thigh was very welcomed.

"You know, Mrs. Cullen," He winked as he left a line of kisses across my collarbone, "it has been too long."

"I agree," I keened as he pressed his lips to mine softly, at first, and then with growing hunger and longing. I returned his gestures tenfold as his hand crept beneath my back to press me to him even more securely.

Nothing could be more perfect. Jacob was a part of my past. He had no part in my future. Mira held no reminders for me of Jacob, instead, all I saw in her was life and possibilities. Her future was cloudy, but she would have one - that was for sure. Edward was thrilled to be a father and I had never seen his eyes so alight as when he was holding his… _our_ daughter. I was his for eternity and nothing could sever that bond, that I was certain of. Everything was blissfully perfect, just as it should have been. Sure, it wouldn't remain that way. There were sure to be problems that the future would hold for both of us, for Mira, and for the rest of the family, but we had proven our capability to overcome those obstacles together, and I had no doubt that we would continue to do so.

Edwards teeth grazing my neck startled me back from my reverie and I let out another low moan.

"Shhh," he reprimanded mischievously, "Baby's sleeping."

T H E E N D

* * *

I can't believe that in all this time, I forgot to add the last chapter.

I feel like a moron.. all this time thinking I had posted it.

no. I'm stupid. I apologize. It took this long for someone to be honest and tell me that the ending sucked for me to go back and realize that this wasn't in fact the ending.

now it is, though.

the end.


End file.
